Why are people so mean and ruthless?

Question

My friend has a sleepover going on right now. Before this, I asked her if I could join them (with her friends). She said it's okay. I only wanted to go because I wanted to have more friends. I really don't have a lot. When we were in her house, hanging out in her room, I excused myself to use the restroom. And then I overheard one of them say, "Why is she here?". And my friend said she felt sorry for me. And one girl replied, "You shouldn't have invited her."

I felt really sad and I wanted to cry but I didn't want them to know that I heard them. So i just told them that I didn't feel good so I went home.

Why were they being mean?

Answer 1

You have to work hard to make friends. And you weren't.

Do not overload them with your problems, let them speak when they wanna speak, tell them what they want to hear, etc.

The only person who likes you "just they way you are" is your mother. (A guy who says that only wants to f*** you)

Oh, and asking to be invited to a party is generally bad idea, b/c people are too polite to refuse, and you end up in situations like that. What you do is give them a chance to invite you by generally steering the conversation around the event. And if they do not invite you, you swallow it and go hand out with somebody else.

Answer 2

Because kids are ruthless. We ALL went through this at some point or another in our childhood. It will end up being okay in the end.

A big tip-off is your display of confidence in yourself. Next time you hang out with any of your friends, make sure that you hold your head up high, make jokes, and basically act like you are the most IMPORTANT person around. The reason is this: Your frineds will pick up on this. They'll inwardly want to know WHY you think you are so "special". They will be attracted to you for this reason. Guaranteed, you will not hear any more muffled whispers about you--unless it's something like "She's really cool!"

On the converse, if you go into a situation (such as the sleepover) feeling out of place and uninvited---people will catch on to this as well. Then they'll milk it for all it's worth, which leads to you having a very humiliating night!

CONFIDENCE--even if you have to fake it, should do the trick. Good luck.

Answer 3

The girl who asked why you were there may not have necessarily intended to sound mean. It may have struck her odd that you were there when you weren't invited and that maybe you don't hang around with that particular mix of girls as much as each of them do. When faced with such a question your girlfriend probably didn't know what to say because maybe she realized she had brought a guest who hadn't been invited. Saying that she felt sorry for you would be a nice way to explain why she, in fact, did something (bring a guest) that - really - people do usually do (unless the hostess of a party says specifically that bringing a guest is fine).

Since you're of sleep-over age, obviously you're all young Your friend either didn't know she shouldn't bring a guest or else didn't know what to say when you asked if you could go. She was probably faced with either saying you weren't invited or doing the nicer thing of agreeing to have you go with her. Telling the other girl, "I wanted to be nice" isn't as legitimate an excuse as "I felt bad for her".

Its understandable that you thought this would be a good chance to maybe make more friends, but in the future you shouldn't put any friend on the spot of asking if you can go to a party you weren't invited to. There are other ways to make friends. There are activities and functions for young people where everyone is welcomed. If you aren't in any activities now you should get involved in something where there are a lot of girls.

I don't really think they intended to be mean (although I know young people can be mean and intend to be). I just think maybe the girl who had the party and her friends didn't expect someone who wasn't invited to be there, and I think your friend who was "guilty" of bringing you didn't know what else to say.

Kids forget things like what happened tonight. Just don't stew over it. Maybe if you're talking to the girl who had the party you could say, "Sorry I didn't realize that bringing a guest wasn't ok. I never would have come if I had known that." You may even mention to your friend who brought you that you didn't realize it wasn't ok to ask to come.

Finally, sometimes a group of girlfriends who are very close kind of take it for granted that they're who they have at their parties. Their parties aren't like school dances, where everyone goes. Its not that the girls want to mean to anyone else. Its just that they all have their little group that makes up a group of close friends.

You did a little "faux pas" kind of thing, but it isn't the end of the world. One girl didn't understand why someone different was there. The other one didn't know what to say about what she did.

Don't worry about it. I don't think they meant to be mean.

Answer 4

im sorry for what happened... anyway be glad that you have known that they are not worthy to be ur friends. dont feel bad, what you did (invited urself to the sleepover) is just normal for teenagers like you bec there is really the need to fit in (though sometimes teenagers make the mistake of trying so hard to be accepted with the group they consider as "cool")... treat this experience as part of the "growing up" process and dont let this thing make you think that all people are mean and bad as this group. have faith that humans essentially have a good heart and if some people are mean then its their problem and not yours. be yourself, work on ur inner beauty (it leaves a more lasting impressions) and soon u will find friends that are really worth keeping... wish u all the best!

Answer 5

I take it you're a teenager.

Just be yourself, people will appreciate you for who you truly are, and even if it's one person, that one person will be someone you could count on always. Be grateful that you overheard them. That way, you know exactly who you're dealing with now.

Be more open to people and let them in your world.

I will tell you, no matter where you go, or what you do, or how old you are, or what country you live in, women will ALWAYS be mean... for some reason or the other, they will always find some reason to cut down another woman. Every time it happens, do not let that change your disposition, be good, kind and nice to them, but never trust them ... kills them inside all the time.

Answer 6

First of all I don't think you should have to work hard to make friends...if you have a connection you do, if not oh well.

I do not have a lot of girlfriends for that exact reason. Girls can be so mean and ruthless without even thinking about the consequences...so the friends I choose are ones I trust no matter what...and would never say those things to hurt you.
My advice is not to try so hard to make friends...be yourself and have fun...if you are worried about making friends you wont--because people will see right through you and know that you are desperate for friends...and that's a huge turn off to people.
Forget those girls..they really aren't worth your time..and when they get older they will get what is coming to them...believe me (karma)

Answer 7

Im sorry that happened to you. you must have felt awful. Listen maybe your friend just said those things because she's trying to look good in front of those other girls. She shouldn't have done what she did,and those girls have no right to say those things about you. Your friend should've stuck up for you. Some people are just defensive about their "groups", its part of growing up and i think we all go through. You deserve a lot better than those girls who said mean things about you, if they're judging you with out knowing you then they're just missing out. You wouldn't want to be friends with people like that anyway. Find friends you feel comfortable with and who you can trust will always have your back.

Answer 8

Stay who you are and not what they think you should be. Its these type of people who end up leading their lives falsely and never feeling the joy of being themselves and always needing empty approval. Its very sad and you should feel sorry for them. You will attract the right friends even better and easier now because of this. But only if you stop trying so hard. Consider yourself having become wiser and just grown up some more.

Answer 9

you know i had a similar experience when i was younger, i was at a camping thingy for school I was laying down and they thought I was sleeping and they started talking about me..although you handled your situation a lot better than i did, I got up and started a big fight with all of them..

But anyways people are so full of themselves now a days. Till this day I don't have many friends just because I know how backstabbing and selfish people are. All you can do is try your best to be friends with someone, and if they don't like you, screw them..you'll find someone who likes you for you sooner or later, trust me :)

Answer 10

First of all if she wasn't friend enough to invite you on her own then why would you want to go anyway. If she was a real friend she wouldn't have left you out on the sleepover and she wouldn't be talking about you to these girls. So diss her the next time you see her and find someone new to talk to.