Confronting a friend who is.... playing the field so to speak?

Question

I have a friend and she has two boyfriends. And she tells one the same excuse (oh the other is just an ex that still likes me) and back and forth. She even tried to pan that off on me for a while, but eventually she would tell me "Oh, he doesn't mean anything to me. I just want to let him down lightly I really like guy #2" and then tell me how jealous she was since guy #1 was spending time with some other girl she felt was trying to move in on her territory so to speak.

Anyway, she's clearly playing two guys at once. While I don't know either particularly well I have been wanting to fonfront her about the incongruties in her story and tell her to make a choice. She's the type of person that talks so much about doing the right thing and moral fiber. And she's clearly playing two guys against each other.

In all fairness I think she has feelings for both, but you can't have it both ways and then LIE about it to them and to your friends.And then come to them for advice when it goes bad

A lot of the problem isn't just this persons lying about it, but their pompousness of how high and mighty they are. She clearly wants both guys and doesn't want to have to choose and it's going to catch up with her at some point. I don't want to upset her or cause any sort of rift by saying "Hey, I know what you're doing and it's wrong". But for her own sake I want her to at least accept that she's doing this, that it's wrong, and that it's against everything she claims to stand for.

Answer 1

I am in slightly the same situation. One of my bestfriends recently lost her virginity to another one of my bestfriend's brother. She then moved on to my friend's brother's friend. (i hope ur still with me) She still plays them both even tho the 2 of the guys r friends. My girls n i have dropped hints that its a bad thing to do and makes her look like a slut but she never catches on. If your friend is anything like mine she has never been in a real relationship with a person that meant a lot to her. if she REALLY had feelings for these guys she wouldnt be playing this game with them. My friends and i have decided on the idea to let it hit her in the face. Most people dont learn from other people giving them advice. Its something shes going to need to figure out on her own. And your right, she probably will come to u searching for advice. Dont talk. Just listen. Explain to her you tried to tell her but don't push that idea too hard, she probably already knows and feels embarassed because u were right. We all learn from mistakes and because ur friend seems unexpierenced in the feild of relationships, when this blows up it will be hard for her. Be there for her theres nothing else u can do, thats whats friends r for. Hope it helps!

Answer 2

Would you classify her as an attention junkie? She sounds pretty cute, and a master manipulator of men.
Oh the drama that will occur when she gets outed by both fellas
You get a vicarious thrill out it all, like looking at a serious wreck on the road.

Answer 3

Just be a good friend and tell her your opinion on this matter. It's only an opinion. Tell her your sick of the situation and you don't want to be involved in it and when the sh** hits the fan to please not come crying to you about it. Tell her she has to choose one or the other or she's going to be the one getting hurt. And let her know your saying it out of concern for her. If she can't understand this I would go friend shopping. Not dropping her as a friend, just distancing myself from her and these problems for awhile.

Answer 4

Morals? HAHA! she has none. She's enjoying having all the attention on her. She feels desired and it feels good, who wouldn't like it? BUT. She's totally being a slut, she wants both but says something different. If she is really about doing what is right tell her to step up and just do it, and to stop flapping her gums about it so people won't think she's a whore.

Answer 5

If you are truly her friend tell her to grow up and choose one of them. One if they are doing the same as her and she has unprotected sex, she's having it with there other current partners too. That in itself is disgusting enough. Two you should tell her that sooner or later she might get her A** busted and wind up with neither of them. Three if she truly cared for either one and was capable of being mature about it she wouldn't run them around, she's acting like a little tramp and needs to be told about herself.

Answer 6

confront her..that's what friends are for..guiding the other person if she doesn't know what she's doing. you confront her now before other people will confront her. you, being close to her would know how to talk to her. whatever if may turn out to be at least you told her what you feel..just imagine this and you'll probably know how to talk to her.."what if your friend is one of the guys she's playing with? that way she can understand why you told her that..or why you actually confronted her..."

Answer 7

well if you know both guy, ask one out to the mall when the other is with your friend shopping. Ops, didn't know you were here. that should make her wake up the hard way and everyone will know.

Answer 8

you might try to open a dialogue wherin you ask her why she justifies this if she takes moral high ground on other subects. It is okay to disagree with a freind, and if your friendship is strong, she might hear you out.

Answer 9

well make sure she gets caught but doesnt find out that it was u the reason why she got caught that way it puts an end to it n ur still her friend

Answer 10

The more pertinant quesiton would be, "why would you want to be friends with somebody like that"? If that's how they are with boyfriends, don't you know you will be her victim someday?