did any of you think of the father when you breast-feed? and why would you not pump?

Question

all of you talk about bonding with the babies when you breast-feed
but how does the father bond if he wanted to. you have total control
over the babie. if you could pump why would you not? if you dont
pump then the father will feel left out and never ever get that
chance of bonding like you do. is that fair?

Answer 1

There might be times when the mom needs a break from nursing. I'd suggest that her extra milk gets pumped and frozen. THen it can be thawed (not by microwave) and then used sometime for the father to also feed the baby.

Answer 2

Dads can bond playing, bathing and cuddling the baby.
Breastfeeding is the best possible way to start off the babies life so how about you be less selfish and think like a proper Dad and give the baby the best start in life with breast milk. As for pumping - have you ever had a contraption stuck to your boob pumping you like a cow? After all the mother has gone through giving birth whilst you were just standing there watching if she doesn't want to pump well then she shouldn't have too.

Answer 3

Wow, you sound a little angry. I breastfeed for many reasons, not just bonding. Health is very important and also family health. We try to acheive balance by letting Dad in on the fun. He holds baby and loves baby as much as I do. If he didn't, I'd think I'd have gone bananas by now. My husband is very involved with our girls.

As far as pumping, the milk doesn't just come out. There is the complication of the let down reflex, which basically means you need to have a personal relationship with the pump. Sometimes I can pump, other times I get nothing out, despite knowing that I have plenty of milk on board. If you need more details, I suggest googling breastfeeding or checking out the book "Our Babies, Ourselves," for the best description of exactly how nursing breasts work.

Breastfeeding is not the only way to bond with the baby, and she isn't attached 24/7, so there is plenty of room for Dad. My girls have all gone through phases where all they want is Daddy and only come to me for nursing and then it's right back to dad. If your husband only bonds through feeding, then there is a lot he's missing. Try having him put baby to sleep or play with baby or any number of a billion things to do with baby besides feeding.

I'm not sure why you come off so angry. If someone has told you that you can't bond unless you nurse, they are wrong. It's just another of the billion ways to bond with baby.

What is funny about your statement, on a personal level, is that my father accuses my mother of "Hogging" me as a baby. I was bottle fed and he never offered to change a diaper. Sounds to me like he had the issue, not her.

Answer 4

The father has plenty of other chances to bond with the baby, and that can be even more important when you're breastfeeding. I could never get my son to go to sleep because he could smell the milk whenever I was around, so for a few months, my husband rocked him to sleep every single night. That was bonding.
When it was time for my son to start solid foods, my husband was so excited for his chance to be involved, and he was there at every feeding.
Breastfeeding is best for the whole family. Babies do more than just eat, and parents do more than just feed them--there are plenty of ways to bond with a child.

Answer 5

I'm a dad and have bonded very well with my daughter. I bonded with her while she was still a tiny baby by just holding her, singing to her, lying down and letting her fall asleep on my chest -- things like that. As she got older I found ways to play with her. I was the one to get her to laugh the first time.

I did all of this while encouraging my wife to breast feed as much as possible, and to pump as little as possible. Did you know that a woman's breast doesn't produce as much milk when pumped as it does when the baby sucks? My wife had to pump two times (separated by a couple hours) just to produce enough milk for one feeding of the baby. That gets old real fast.

So, be supportive of your wife. You can bond just fine without ever bottle feeding your baby.

Answer 6

Feeding isn't the only way to bond with your baby. Hold him or her after feedings, burp the baby, just spend time adoring the little one.

Answer 7

Dads bond by holding, playing, bathing, putting them down to sleep.

I pumped because I *had* to go back to work. When I didn't work, I didn't pump. Both my girls are daddy's little girls.

Answer 8

You certainly don't seem to be a parent. . .
Let me tell you, my husband did not care...the less he had to do, the better.
Besides, the mother is supposed to be the nurturer, and the father the playmate...nothing wrong with that.
Breastfeeding is one of the best things you can do for a child.

Answer 9

OH PLEASE...LIKE IT'S SO FAIR THAT THE WOMAN ACTUALLY CARRIES THIS BABY FOR NINE MONTHS.AND ANYWAY *****LE, THERE ARE OTHER WAYS FOR FATHER TO BOND.I THINK YOU SHOULD MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND LET PEOPLE FEED THEIR KIDS HOWEVER THEY WISH.GROW UP,LIFE'S NOT ALWAYS FAIR.