I ASK U THIS wot would u do if your wife said 2 u she was having a break dpwn and needed time 2 herself ?

Question

so i supported her, she wanted 2 weeks away . 2 wks up; i find out she had dinner with a man i had met b4 , i asked her & she said i was being paranoid !so we went on we had dinner togeather 4 times a week no change in sex nothing was that different except we were living in different homes. fast forward 5 months she still is`nt home thinking she was still down i was patient and although i was hurting from missing her i waited ,our daughter of 3 had said a few things 2 which my wife called her a liar all this time i had a gut feeling , till one day i see a car at her place ,brushed it off untill it was tere 3 days a week , i did some seaching ,it was that guys car ,when i brought it up she denied it , this went on 4 an hr untill she admitted it she said it had only been going on for 4 mths she swears!! it crushed me bad ! we split 4 a month i forgave her & we tryed to repair the damage. now i have just found out it was going on for 18 mths . what would u do

i have taken her back she is living at home again for the past 6 weeks i didnt find out about how long it was realy going on untill 2 weeks ago

Answer 1

outta here

Answer 2

She's doing all this in front of your child, shameful! I know it must be painful, your trust is betrayed and your heart is broken. The fact that she claimed to be having a break down is also shameful. I have experienced an emotional breakdown, there was not a man on the planet who could get my attention at that time.

I told the creep I was with what I was experiencing and he chose to be nasty to me. I pretty much lost all respect for him as a man and forced the time I needed.

I'm not going to tell you to leave her, that would be wrong for me to do, as I am not living your life for you. However, you have to look at the situation and really dig inside yourself for the obvious answer. While you're pondering, think of the environment you want for your child. Do you want to keep her in a household with mistrust and distress? Do you want to maintain a friendly relationship with your wife for the sake of the child? Do you want your wife to feel comfortable enough to stop calling your child a liar and be truthful about her relationship with this other man? Only when you open the door for the truth will you find peace of mind. It's not the truth that hurts, it's the damage caused by the lie. Don't let the lie grow any more than it has.

Answer 3

Sounds like she thought she was having a breakdown, but what she really was, was confused. I don't know what happened to her before you guys got together, or whether there is history with the two of you. When women get like that it's because they feel stifled or unhappy in some way. I believe most women cheat for emotional rather than sexual reasons, so maybe to her, there was something missing. I would be concerned that she called your daughter a liar, and that she exposed such a young child to her affair. You didn't mention anything about discussing this with a therapist, but I think that's in order if you're going to try to stay together. Have you considered that she's clinically depressed? Get her to see a doctor who might prescribe something for her to balance her out. I say don't give up on her if she's apologized and wants to make it work.

Answer 4

Everyone will say "ditch her" because outsiders like us do not know either of you personally so it is easy to say.
Unfortunately if she is already seeing this guy it sounds like you need to move on.
Not only is she not interested in you any more, she cheated on you AND lied!
Why would you want her back?
And if you are worried about divorce hurting your 3 year old (it sucks no matter what age you are), you are not doing as much damage as your wife is assuming your daughter lives with her mother. She's the one that has a virtual stranger in her house. Not smart.

You need to be the bigger person. Show your daughter you don't put up with a spouse who cheats & lies so she can at least learn something positive from one of you.

Answer 5

She moved back in with you but you gotta find out the basis of that affair. 18 months is a very long time... This wasn't some depressed fling that is over because she got caught and regrets it. If she's back its might be because of convenience.. to see your child, save rent, its safer than getting a divorce, or she's just not ready to move in with the other guy yet.

Has she really broken it off with the other guy. Does she regret the affair, or does she regret getting caught?

Answer 6

God my heart goes out to you...

she's a liar and a cheat...might as well add all of the rest of the ten commandments to the list as well, that she has broken...

If I were you I'd take some time out for myself and seriously re-evaluate the whole situation... in the end it's not about her,
it's about you and what you want..I'm sorry you have to go through this ...you can always try counseling or a pastor.

I wish you the best

Answer 7

Honestly, she probably wasn't sure about the other guy,
so that's why she said she needed time alone. How long
are you willing to wait for her to make up her mind? I
think you should move on and let her go. You said you have a 3 year old daughter together, well just be a good
father to your daughter, it's not fair for her to get in the
middle, because Mommy can't make up her mind.

Answer 8

I would be careful and not sure if I woudl trust her again. You should seek some counceling to find out if you can save your marriage. Obviously something occured that made her feel unhappy in teh relationship. If you don't fix this problem, it will always be a big shadow on your relationship with your wife...

Answer 9

nicely if he doesnt favor to be in a intense relationship with you, its because of what he stated. That he doesnt choose honestly one of you to get harm. Which in guy words, signifies that in the course of the destiny or a at the same time as, i am going to split with you for yet another woman, or to bypass seek for yet another woman. And if he stated that all and distinctive he could imagine about replaced into you at the same time as he replaced into with some different person. Then i imagine that he's a participant and is merely protecting you on the area, till he can discover some different person. Dont be with him, because that's in straightforward words a waste of a at the same time as. for sure if he stated he doesnt favor to harm you contained in the destiny. Then its going to happen quickly. Dont manage that gurl! You dont want it!

Answer 10

If you still want to be with her then you need to lay down some serious ground rules. She has broken your trust several times and she needs to understand that she needs to earn that back. Don't be naive and don't believe anything she says. You should be able to call her at anytime and find out where she is and with whom. If she is not prepared for oyu to do this then she is not prepared to be honest with you. People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.

Answer 11

She's a liar and a cheater. You want that for yourself? Get out. The cheating is grounds for divorce. You gave her some time to herself and she abused the privelege. Bye-Bye.