my bf and i have been 2gether 4 almost a year and a half...he is moving in with me in 2 weeks. but 4 the past week he has been acting very strange...doesnt talk much,always says hes tired, doesnt go anywhere with me(for longer than a week), been saying hes 2 busy 2 do anything or go anywhere with! is it possible that he is or is thinking about cheating or just scared of moving in with me, since iwill be the only girl he has ever lived with?
2006-08-10 17:07:42 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Scared of the committment...that is a big step. Back off the moving in together....tell him YOU don't think YOU are ready for it...see how he will change...fast! Good luck
2006-08-10 17:12:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok to try and answer each separately
1) is he cheating.... IF he has already been cheating on you, prior to saying he would move in... it unlikely his actions would change now unless he has decided he would rather not move in and is not sure how to break it off.
2) is he thinking of cheating... always posible, he might have meet someone since deciding to move in that makes him unsure of the "current" relationship
3) other posibilities.... he could just be tired for assorted reasons, including work (physical), putting in extra hours at work (for what ever reason), moving tress (emotion - can happen around ANY move), having second thoughts (ie.. is this the really the right time, is this really "the one", what if ????) - don't we all have those thoughts
4) scared to move in... again second thoughts (we do all have them), also as others said he could be unsure of "commitment".
if 1 or 2.... backing way off is a good idea at present... but talk first to be sure why he is "acting" the way he is
if 3... again talk as openly as possible... he may just need a little space between now and the move in. putting it off a little can be suggested... this may or may not be helpful on his side.
if 4 is the case - definitely TALK, and talk some more... be open and honest, and share "Your" concerns so he knows he is not the only one with doubts. Sometimes the fear of commitment can be reduced by understanding that this "one step" is not expect to "guarantee" the rest of his life. Verbally communicating the fact that - moving in together is only a one step, a way to find out if you are compatible - feelings.do not guarantee compatabliity..
2006-08-18 12:32:47 · answer #2 · answered by Katangery 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Commitment,its used to be easier,call,date,home and the cycle go on and on,but when you share the home,that the cycle is broken,the cycle will change and much more complicated and need more commitment.Sometimes,the share-a-home-relationship is not that easy,more attention and more care.Freedom is also at the stake.I will be nervous if i were him,he just into a really deep thinking whether will he live up to your expectations by living together,its a huge step in a relationship,he is scared because he is afraid that this step will ruin the realtionship.
So,bear a moment,be cool,no presure and you will see that your realtionship is going on better than you expected.
Plus,if he really want to cheat,he will wait for a better,definately not on pre-moving-together-with-my-girlfriend
2006-08-17 16:18:17 · answer #3 · answered by Janet Y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be scared due to the fact this is big and a big step. On the other hand you have to go with your gut instinct. Be honest with him and ask of his behavior. First and foremost, if you don't get a straight answer and are having ?s of infidelity, maybe moving in isn't right till you have an honest answer and trust fully of each others actions. Don't be naive though
2006-08-18 05:40:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds kinda like he is scared about moving in. if u tell him that u think u should wait for a little bit longer, one of two things can happen, he will break-up w/ u and go w/ the girl he is cheatin' w/ (if he is even cheatin), or he will be relieved that u feel the same way he does and that u can both come to terms w/ a good time in both of ur lives to live together. good luck!
2006-08-17 15:30:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a problem somewhere, something is weighing heavy on his mind and the worst thing that you can do is move in together and have the problem get worse. talk to him and demand to know what the problem is, it's better that you know now before you make the mistake of living together. once you start combining your stuff, the truth will come out and it's going to be pure hell
2006-08-18 10:01:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably just scared to move in.
Why would you assume the worst? Are you that insecure? Go get a hobby, get some self-esteem. You can't get self-esteem from some guy or anyone else besides yourself.
2006-08-17 16:57:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he cold and short with you in conversations? That is normally a good way to tell someone is on his mind. Do trust your in stints. Then you can also ask him if he has changed his mind about moving in. Make sure he is moving in for you and not because he needs a place to stay. Why someone does something is as import and as doing it.
2006-08-17 09:17:39 · answer #8 · answered by snowhite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesnt seem like you know him well enough to be committing to this stage of a relationship.. If you dont have faith in him AND DONT TRUST HIM dont move in together it will be a mistake and on your part not his.
2006-08-17 20:16:17 · answer #9 · answered by Karenthezookpr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
commitment is a big think and if he is acting that way, don't let him move in (which is a mistake in the first place)
2006-08-18 01:06:16 · answer #10 · answered by Redknight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋