I have been in a serious relationship for three years. We have briefly discussed marriage. Should we be discussing this in depth? I do not want to be one of those people who are together for 10+ years and still not married. Pleassssseeee help!!
2006-08-10 16:48:06 · 27 answers · asked by Crystal S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have a great answer for this one. Also there is a book out called Lies At the Altar by dr robin smith talks about knowing when you are ready but to get you started....
Consider it when you have been together long enough to be out of the infatuation stage. When you have discussed ALL the issues involved in life after the wedding like finances, division of household labor, children, in laws, where to live, jobs, time away with friends, and a million other things you haven't thought of. After all of that you consider each part of the vows, and what you consider is the difficult side of them, anybody can be happy when things are going well so,
richer or poorer....still want to be with them in a shack with crackers ala peanut butter for dinner...for the fourth night in a row?
sickness and health...they develop a chronic physical or mental illness and can't get around and can't work, still want to be there?
better or worse...they are in a car accident and you have to spend the rest of your life feeding them and changing their diapers, still want to be married?
keep yourself only to him or her, can you REALLY only have sex with only that person until you die?
THIS is what marriage is, not a fairy tale where everything goes well everyday, the one guarantee you have is that things WILL go wrong. Remember, you answer all these questions after you have passed infatuation, after you know what their bad points are (yes they have some and so do you) and still consider it anyway.
If you think you are up for all of this then maybe you should think about it. Don't forget to consider whether they would stick by you if it was you in any or all of the above scenarios. Check out the question posted here by married people and keep in mind that all of them thought this was the thing to do and the ONE for them when they got married too!
2006-08-10 16:59:02 · answer #1 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
About 2 To 3 Years
2006-08-10 23:53:15 · answer #2 · answered by BKJH_92 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? The answer I'd give an 18 year old to this question is not the same one that I'd give to a 29 year old. I think that if you have had an exclusive relationship with a man for that long, and you are over the age of 21, you should be talking about marriage. Not necessarily about your marriage to each other, but about your thoughts on it as a concept. As you point out, if you drift along like you have no interest in marriage, and he really doesn't want to marry at all, you are keeping yourself from finding a man who wants what you want. Just like you'd talk about any other long term plans for your life, you should both share the way you think about marriage, so that neither person is misleading the other. Good luck! I hope you find out that you see this the same way.
2006-08-11 00:36:40 · answer #3 · answered by homebuyer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give it another year or two, because chances are the two of you have enjoyed each others company in those three years that time went by pretty quickly. Now that you are thinking about marriage the next couple of years should give you the opportunity to sit back and decide if marriage is the right thing for the both of you. A couple of years won't hurt. It's better to take the time to really think if this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
2006-08-10 23:58:04 · answer #4 · answered by III 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my lady and I were together about 2 years when I proposed to her. We had both stated early on this relationship that neither of us would ever remarry again, but here we are engaged and marrying next May 20th. So I guess it doesn't really matter how long the relationship is going communication is important and it is one thing that should be discussed very much in depth.
A friend of mine asked his wife to marry him after 3 dates. They were married with months and dam if they aren't the only couple from that era that are still together. Not recommending this but sometimes that's the way it works.
Best of luck to you in your relationship. And remember, before sex or money that communication is the most important ingrediant in any relationship.
2006-08-10 23:57:28 · answer #5 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years and I decided to move in with him. We do good which in some times we argue.Its normal but I think that if you love each other things would have to work out. Keep trying and get married with the correct person. You would not find out if he is the right one now, until you live with him. During a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship things r diffrent but things do change through time, Good Luck and look out for your best!
2006-08-11 00:01:11 · answer #6 · answered by shorty Peraza 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My now husband and I were together for 3 weeks before we decided to get married. And we were married 2 months later. There is no time limit on discussing marriage. When its right you will know.
2006-08-10 23:56:38 · answer #7 · answered by killersaint 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe this is taken you three years.... my husband and I decided to get married the day we MET !!! we had lunch and by the time lunch was done we had decided to get married and had pretty well planned that too.... next month is our 24th anniversary... I think you just know when it's right... sure doesn't take that long to figure out.... and one more thing, I know someone who wasted many years, like you're doing, on several guys... so she decides they aren't the one and BOOM... you're 45 years old, never married and too darn old to have the children you've always wanted.... there's an old saying " s%#t or get off the pot" you are wasting the best years of your life....
2006-08-10 23:58:52 · answer #8 · answered by Louie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you think you are ready. and when you think the relationship is ready. there should never be a set time as to how long you should wait until you talk about anything. if you have an amazing relationship, it shouldn't matter whether you should wait 3 months or 3 years. just go for it. if you are in love and you know the relationship is right and it will be a positive and successful marriage, talk about it whenever the heck you want! go for it!
2006-08-10 23:54:49 · answer #9 · answered by all the same eternity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you intend to get married with this person whom you are in a relationship with, then you should discuss the topic of marriage in depth very early in the relationship so that you are bothh aware of where the relationship is going
2006-08-10 23:55:40 · answer #10 · answered by trombonegirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋