Any suggestions?

Question

This isn't exactly the right forum, but there are always lots of people here to answer questions:

I am planning on getting married next summer to my boyfriend of 4 years. We have been talking about this for a while now, almost 2 years, but the problem is that we have a 6 month old son together and I am afraid that my family will be convinced that we are getting married just because of the baby, like a cousin of mine did last year.

I know this will go over great with his family, as we get on very well. His parents have been referring to me as a daughter-in-law for quite a while now, and his sister and I are good friends and have introduced each other as 'my sister-in-law' before.

Has anyone else gone through this? Any suggestions on a good way to announce it? Any thoughts on how to deal with the feared backlash?

Answer 1

forget the backlash. the "fear" that someone is getting married just because of a child usually applies to pregnancy. you have a 6 month old son, so anyone thinking that has long moved onto something different. in fact, those who thought you might be "forced" into marriage because you were pregnant are proably now going to be pleased to see you're getting married so they know your son is destined to have a stable home. i'd forget the worries and remember that your wedding to your bf is a happy occasion between the two of you. you're not doing it to please others or get their approval, you're doing it because the two of you decided to spend your lives together. announce it like normal. treat it like normal. after all, it IS normal. good luck and congrats on your decision.

Answer 2

Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 9 years now and are not married. We have 3 children together. We are very happy, we just don't have the need for a wedding to prove it to everyone else. My family asks all the time why we are not married and I just say "because when I want to leave I will want to be able to just go". But I am not serious. We have been through alot and just don't want the stress of a wedding. We would elope but then my family would just complain that we didn't have an actual wedding.
You 2 have been together for 4 years. Kid or not, you are obviously happy being together. It does not matter what they think. And if they say you are doing it only because of the baby, prove them wrong. Work hard at the relationship and they will see what you mean to each other and what your family means to you! Congratulations on the baby and the wedding!

Answer 3

My suggestion is that as long as you are happy and you are doing it for the right reason then it really doesn't matter what your family thinks. I would tell them that you are doing it because it is what you want for your life and your children and that you love this man. If they give you any more problems about it then just tell them what you need is their support and their trust in your decisions. You are not going to make them change their minds about anything they have already made an opinion of. Just do what makes you happy. Good luck and congratulations on the engagement and the new baby! Keep us posted on how it turns out!

Answer 4

You cant live your life a certain way just because someone may not approve what you are doing,Dont worry about what they think hon.If you love this guy then you have every right in the world to marry him,even if you had 10 kids with him.The family has two choices,accept it or dont.Go ahead and get married and live your life for yourself,dont let any ones opinion stop you in your tracks.

Answer 5

I know this is easier said than done but you should try not to worry about what other people think. If your family cannot be happy for you then that is their problem not yours. Obviously you are not getting married for your family. Be happy in the fact that you are going to get to experience a very special occasion and that you are doing it someone you love who loves you. Your family will come around eventually and if they don't oh well.

Answer 6

Be in love with each other first. Then find some good spiritual guidance. Then become a loving family and learn about how much God loves families. And as for your family? It's none of their business if you decide to marry your bf so don't waste too much time pondering what they say because they're thinking about their interests rather than your son's and his parents'.
Best Wishes.

Answer 7

You know dear, my husband and i got married when my son was 4 months old, and that don't mean we only got married because of the baby. It's because we love each other. And that is all that matters. It don't matter what other people say or think. You get married and screw all the other people. It's not what they want, it's what you want.

Answer 8

I was pregnant with our twins when I married my husband..... yeterday was our 4 year anniversary..... the most important thing is to DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY...... in the long run, if you love each other, your family is going to have to accept it. I have a cousin who married because she was pregnant, and we've talked AT LEngth about the fact that I felt that I was going to marry My husband anyway, so why not when I was preggo..... where she was "forced" into marrying her ex....it's your happiness and your future, who cares what other people think?

Answer 9

if they get along well then i wouldnt worry about it. obviously if u were getting married because of the kid you would have done it a year and some months ago. and even if people think that then who cares. it is ur choice, and if u love each other then it doesnt matter what anyone thinks or says. its about u. and a happy family.

Answer 10

Sweetie, if you love this man, it doesn't matter what your family thinks. I love my family and i'm sure you do too, or you wouldn't even be asking this question, but family can be so consumed with your life, that you can't even do anything without them having their two senses everything. Marry your boyfriend, be happy.