Any suggestions?

Question

This isn't exactly the right forum, but there are always lots of people here to answer questions:

I am planning on getting married next summer to my boyfriend of 4 years. We have been talking about this for a while now, almost 2 years, but the problem is that we have a 6 month old son together and I am afraid that my family will be convinced that we are getting married just because of the baby, like a cousin of mine did last year.

I know this will go over great with his family, as we get on very well. His parents have been referring to me as a daughter-in-law for quite a while now, and his sister and I are good friends and have introduced each other as 'my sister-in-law' before.

Has anyone else gone through this? Any suggestions on a good way to announce it? Any thoughts on how to deal with the feared backlash?

Answer 1

well, most people who are getting married because of a baby do it when they find out they are pregnant. or right afterward. i would think your family should be able to understand that you have been together this long, made it though a pregnancy together (i give any man props for handling a pregnant woman...lol), and have now conquered the newborn phase. ANd that is a lot. I would just tell them that obviously this is a long term thing, aside from the baby. Give them these scenarios of what you guys have already accomplished together thus far without being married. This isnt some fly by night relationship after 4 years. i think they will accept it. And if they dont, eventually they will. They have had to accept him as your boyfriend for this long. best luck to you!

Answer 2

If you are planning to marry because of your love for each other and it is what you want, Then you should NOT concern yourself with what ANYONES perception of what your reasons are.
Since you have been together 4 years I assure you that you will not be able to change anyones thoughts of your relationship and trying to defend your actions will only confirm in their minds that they were right.
If they are not truly happy for you and supportive, Then don't invite them to be a part of your celebration.
Marriage is between two people not two families.