first thee was a dream,
a tiny li'l dream that bloomed and grew
That dream is strugling to reap and bear another dream.
Another dream that can be shared w/ love and teach wisdom.
Now, dream is alone but not isolated,
dream will survive... It'll keep moving on.
Even evenings are on dreams way,
dream will pass it through,
dream will see the mornings that will ease dreams worries.
Dream's achievements are waiting.
Dream will go for it! Dream will become a desire,
desire will be transformed to an actions.
Sooner or later, dream, desire, action
will reach the stars.
Who is dream? who is desire? who is action?
It's me, it's myself,It's my dream
jyps_04
aug.11,06
2006-08-10 16:12:49 · 5 answers · asked by destroyed_11 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Good consistency in direction and flow. This is very free verse which can be hard on the reader. Try tightening it up ...dreams will see the mornings, easing dreams worries. Also...go for it is a modernism which shocks the reader out of the evocative direction w/o a follow up or reason. Keep writing.
"The Dream Said I"
2006-08-10 16:21:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about "Dream's Journey"
I enjoyed it !
Although I do have a suggestion---
It flowed nicely until "Dream will go for it...."
May I suggest you delete from "Dream will go for it...." and end it with "Dream reaches for the stars and becomes more".
2006-08-10 16:30:18 · answer #2 · answered by CAT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad, though your use of the word "dream" was pretty repetitive. Try substituting a few synonyms, that will also add flavor to it.
No idea what to title it, sorry.
2006-08-10 16:22:58 · answer #3 · answered by R[̲̅ə̲̅٨̲̅٥̲̅٦̲̅]ution 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dream a little bit for me
2006-08-10 16:18:43 · answer #4 · answered by ladyhawk3k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so nice...I like it... The title could be "Dream is a wish your heart makes" classic...
2006-08-10 16:45:07 · answer #5 · answered by Aurora 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋