Ok this may not seem important. My friend just found out she is pregnant. She doesn't know what to do. Should she have an abortion or should she keep it? She wants to know. What should i do? Should i help her out as much i can? Her boyfriend left her and only 2 people including me r close friends. What should we do?
2006-08-10 16:00:16 · 13 answers · asked by Kat 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
1 word: ADOPTION
It is selfish to destroy a life that you made. Please don't get an abortion. I knew a family that took nearly 17 years to adopt a baby. She is the most beautiful little girl and is loved very much. It brings tears to my eyes to think that someone could have aborted her.
2006-08-14 15:31:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, she should just take a deep breath and have a few days to get used to it. She's probably really freaked out right now, with this new information.
Then, she should think very seriously about whether she's able right now to provide a good home for a child, to love and care for a needy infant, and to devote the next several years of her life to someone.
It's likely that she will decide she can, and want to keep the baby.
If she decides that she can't keep it, then her next step is to think very seriously about whether she's prepared to go through an abortion.
Many times, it will seem like the best option, but many women who have an abortion regret that descision for the rest of their lives. No matter how it is sugar-coated, this procedure is tantamout to legalized murder. Also, when she decides in the future to have another child, this operation could have an impact on her fertility.I would strongly advise against it.
In my opinion, if she decides that she's unable to provide the best home for a baby at this point, she should look into adoption. There are options here; she can have an open adoption where she meets the adoptive parents and keeps in contact with them, or she can have a closed adoption where she will never have to see the child again. She can, in many cases, meet several sets of adoptive parents and pick out the ones that she feels would be the best fit, and she can pick them before she gives birth and sometimes the adoptive parents will be called to the hospital when she has the baby, and I know of some people who have had the adoptive mom come into the delivery room to see the baby be born.
Oh, and about that absentee boyfriend; If he never somes back willingly, and she decides to keep the baby, she can always sue him for child support!
2006-08-10 23:21:29 · answer #2 · answered by Queen Queso 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how could this not be important? I personally don't think that I could have an abortion, but it is your friend's right to choose for herself. Bear in mind though, that even if she doesn't want the baby, there are a lot of really good people out there who really want one and would be willing to give the baby a good home. Right now she needs her friends and family around her to support her, whatever her decision ends up being. Help her explore all her options, and don't let her make an impulsive decision, which she'll regret later. Think things though thouroughly before anything is done. This is a life altering decision, no matter what is decided. Unfortunately, I can't do it for her, and neither can you. Just be there for her.
2006-08-10 23:12:10 · answer #3 · answered by samina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend needs to do some serious evaluation of her life.
Can she care for and support a baby?
This is a tough predicament that could have been prevented with just a little care. But that does not help with the present.
Even though the boyfriend left her he is still responsible. She can make him help with expenses for doctor and hospital bills. She may have to take him to court but she should do it. He may already be doing the same number on another unsuspecting girl. I guy I work with had his daughters boyfriend put in jail for not keeping a job and supporting his baby. It was called contempt of court for disobeying an order.
She might consider giving the baby to adoption if she is not able to support herself and it. Baby stuff gets expensive real fast.
Please take a note of her predicament and convince all your other girlfriends to avoid this problem by taking responsibility for themselves.
Your friend will need moral support through this so I hope you are dedicated enough to stick with her.
If she decides to consider abortion, remember it does not just go away with the fetus, it is something she will carry with her the rest of her life. Many women who had abortions in the past, have had emotional and even physical problems as a result.
You made no mention of her parents or grandparents. The boys parents might be able to help if they care that she is carrying a grandchild of theirs. It depends on the people I reckon.
Best of luck to both of you.
2006-08-10 23:43:08 · answer #4 · answered by mindbender - seeker of truth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is a very improtant decission in your friend's life and this decission will not come easily. As a friend you need to be there for her, provide her with a shoulder to cry on if needed, encourage her to seek the help of her parents or close family, help to obtain all the information possible so a decission can be made with the best possible understanding. Knowledge is power.
As for your friend she needs to consider some of the following:
1. what is her age, education, employment
2. can she handle being a single parent
3. does the boyfriend know she is pregnant, if so will he provide support in the form of child support payments
4. will she put the boyfriends name on the birth certificate as the father or just list the father as unknown
5. seek legal council if she decides to keep the baby to know her rights, the rights of the father, what would happen if he was listed as the father on the birth certificate etc.
6. is she emotionally prepared for an abortion
7. has she considered carrying the baby to term and placing the baby up for adpotion
I for one had a very difficult time in getting pregnant and my husband and I considered adoption if fertility treatments did not work out. There are alot of people out there that would love to have a baby but are unable to and looking to adopt.
My decission would be to carry the baby to term and place the baby up for adoption.
Ulitmatly the final decission is your friends so be there to support her. Best of Luck.
2006-08-10 23:49:03 · answer #5 · answered by twinkletoes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be there for her and help her to see what she feels she can cope with in life. I am AGAINST abortion, so I would say for her to seek help in determining if she thinks she can afford to support a baby or should she give the baby up for adoption. Believe me it can be tuff raising a child alone but it is not impossible and there are resources out there that can help her raise the baby so she doesn't have to give him/her up if she doesn't want to. Good luck and stay by her side thru this. Even if there are only 2 of you there for her... that may be all she needs to cope. You're the best thing for her right now. Good luck!
2006-08-10 23:18:03 · answer #6 · answered by Nina J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A difficult decision. Raising a baby alone is possible but not easy. Factors to consider: What is friend's age? Her education? What is her employability? Can she get assistance of any sort from parents or other relatives? Is she already living on her own, or relying on someone else for support? This will help influence whether to terminate the pregnancy, carry to term and put up for adoption, or keep the child.
2006-08-10 23:10:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
She should go for adoption, or keep it, depending on if she can take care of it or not. Abortion is wrong...it's murder. Help her out as much as you can...I am assuming she is under 18? Then she will need alot of support. Especially if she chooses to keep her/him. If you want to talk IM me at vanillacookies61992.
2006-08-11 01:17:52 · answer #8 · answered by Rebekah A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she want a child at this point in her life? She doesn't have to resort to abortion. She could give up the child for adoption.
2006-08-10 23:05:59 · answer #9 · answered by Sandra M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
what ever you do dont tell her what she shoud do this is a decision she should make for herself. if you tell her one way or another she might resent you later if she regrets it. just tell her all the pros and cons and let her make up her mind. whatever she does support her sounds like your a good friend
2006-08-10 23:20:13 · answer #10 · answered by jazzy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋