Guys, say when your married her she was thin but after two kids and 4 years?

Question

she gained 100 pounds, would you love her the same or would you only see the fat? would you still be sexually attracted? or would you demand she looses weight? just curious.

Answer 1

Most women don't try to get the weight off. Women always "eat for two" which is a total LIE!! You are only supposed to eat 200 more calories a day when pregnant, and that is in the last trimester.

A lot of women get lazy, and don't try to get the weight off, they don't care what they eat because they already gained so much.

If a guy truely loves his wife then he shouldn't care so much about any weight gain, but at the same time, why on earth would a woman not care for herself and let herself gain 100 lbs after pregnancy. There is no excuse for that.

Answer 2

Well, I'm obviously not a guy. BUT I know that if my husband put on 100 pounds I would DEFINITELY NOT be sexually attracted to him anymore. Would I love him? Of course, but then I'd also be dealing with an entirely different person because gaining that much weight affects so much more than your appearance.

I've been married 6 years and have 2 kids and I make it a priority to stay healthy so that I can be around for my family, and so that I can enjoy them. So yeah, I'd probably want desperately for him to lose weight to preserve his life, as well as the lifestyle that our family lives.

Answer 3

I'm not a guy, but I can answer this. I gained about 70 or 80 lbs during two pregnancies (and a lot of stress--I won't even try to blame the weight on on just the babies) and I've lost about 30lbs, but still have more to go. And my husband is actually more attracted to me now than when we married. We have more sex now than we did then. He looks at me differently than he did then. I weigh about 5 lbs more than he does (he's a tall, thin guy with a gut) and he says he doesn't think I'm fat at all. I'm just "not small". What's the difference? Our attitudes. We've changed. I care more about myself now, am starting to gain more self confidence than I had then. So I exercise more and just generally take care of myself. I have a better attitude. And he's gained a bit of weight he can't seem to lose very easily either, so his attitude has changed. And I know all of this because we've talked about it, he's told me. It's not about the weight. It's never about the weight.

Answer 4

A little jelly roll is no sweat. I am not the hard body I was when we got married either. We both excersize and try to eat right. She gained quite a bit with the kids. But I have never ragged her about it but I have always been supportive when she wanted to diet. We have now been married over 32 yrs, she lost some weight and to me looks great. I am very happy with all aspects of our life together. I love her more now than when I first married her and she was a hardbody then and a real good looking girl. Now she is a beautiful mature woman with a womans body. As for the sex well one word... AMAZING and yes she still makes my motor run!! Have a great day I know I will.

Answer 5

I think it's reasonable to expect to be attracted to someone give or take 40 pounds, but 100 might be pushing it. Dr. Laura (the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands) says that we owe it to each other to keep fit to maintain attraction. Realistically, a person 100 pounds over what they were when you met them will look and act a lot different. You'll also be running into health problems when that overweight, get out of breath a lot (a hindrance in the bedroom!), and may have a changed personality at that weight.

Answer 6

the saying "in order to love someone, you have to love yourself first" comes to mind. IMO, someone who is 100 pounds overweight doesn't love him/herself. A person like that doesn't like herself or care about herself, and has lots of "issues". I've seen plenty of models and dancers and all sorts of other women who have gained 50-100 pounds while carrying a child and managed to lose all the added weight within a few months after childbirth. People always have an excuse for extreme weight gain and for their obesity. They have an excuse, but what it breaks down to is they are emotionally flawed and do not adequately care about themselves.

Anyway, like I said, if you gain that much weight and never bother getting rid of it, to me it seems like you don't love or care about yourself. It would be hard for me, as a husband, to love the woman if I didn't feel like she loved me. There would be a lot more to leaving her than "oh you gained too much weight and I'm not interested in you anymore." It would be more along the lines, "you're a different person than who I married, you've stopped loving yourself and me for some reason, and I've continued to love you and emotionally support you in hopes that you would become caring and loving again, but I can only wait so long." Also, if we had kids, I'd probably try to find a better, happier, healthier wife to raise my kids.

Also, no one is 100% healthy either physically or emotionally. But being 100 pounds overweight (for some people that is about double their ideal healthy weight) is a pretty drastic type of ill health, both physically and emotionally. Just as that level of obesity is really hard on all your organs, it is also very hard on your self-esteem and self-image.

If someone has a health problem (physical or emotional) and they do everything they can to overcome that problem, that is one thing. If they have a health problem and just make up excuses for it and don't do much to overcome it, that's something else entirely. If my wife were really trying to deal with her problem I would have a much different attitude than if she were just complaining and whining and making up excuses.

Answer 7

Personally, it would be unsatifying to see my wife gain 100 lbs, and it would seem that something changed from the pre-children to the post-children life. It would also be naive of a husband to believe that if his wife has always battled a weight problem that after delivering two children that everything would go back to the way it was prior to the children. Demanding that she lose the weight would be unfair, but the counter arguement is if he where to gain 100 lbs, would you feel the same? Personally, I feel that it is my obligation to my wife to be in good physical and mental condition, and it is up to me to do (and keep doing) whatever it is to maintain that level.

Answer 8

Demand she lose weight? What a bunch of arrogant snots men are. You have no idea what a woman goes through or what her body goes through after childbirth.

Men are such treasures--your women give you everything you want and when they wear down and change which they all do, you toss them aside like trash for a newer model. Hey look in the mirror...you don't hear women complain half as much as men do because women's brains are in that other head not the one you always have your hands on.

Of course we're expected to be goddess too and of course with the millions you men bring home we can afford maids and butlers and nanny's you gem of men have provided us with, so we therefore have all the time in world to pamper ourselves in $1,000 a day spas getting body wraps, pedicures, manicures and facials and shop at Victoria's Secret daily so that we can home and greet you at the door for a nice romantic dinner each night.....what a fantasy world you guys live in!!!!

Answer 9

I strongly disagree with a few peeps that used the word lazy!That not true at all.A woman puts alot of energy caring for the kids since birth and when they become toddlers WATCH OUT! And the house cleaning and etc etc so dont listen to them people that is very poor advice........heres mine FOR BETTER OR WORSE...Thats part of being in a marraige we all change in some way or another...some get fat some get moles some get sick some get old and wrinkly but the love will still be there if you and your husband are truly in love when you walk down that isle and if he feels that way about you then leave him and go on with your own life......

Answer 10

Well, you can't demand anything, now can you...but you cannot be sexually attracted to what is NOT sexually attractive either. have a talk with her, if that doesn't do the job, either make up your mind to not have sex with her or divorce. I don't care who says what about shallow or anything else along that line, we cannot help how we feel about our mate's appearance. This you didn't bargain for. She can lose the weight if she wants to. I suspect she has other priorities.