Why do people stay in abusive relationships?

Answer 1

bc thats all they know
bc their abuser has made it seem like thats all they got is them
bc they dont want to tell anyone
bc they dont know how to leave
bc they think no one else wants them
bc the abuser isolates them from everyone
bc they dont know any better
bc they think they deserve it
bc they think if they leave the abuser will kill them

Answer 2

Because they're accustomed to abuse and don't feel that they deserve anything better. It's sad, but most women (and even men) that stay in abusive relationships come from abusive homes. What's even more sad is that some times people who came from abusive home can't handle a relationship with someone who is not abusive because they don't view it as real. You know, like there's either something wrong with that person for not behaving the way he/she has come to view as normal, or they feel that the person isn't being their true self and they fear what they will be like when the abuse finally starts (even if the person is sincerely good). That is the saddest part of abuse, that it becomes a vicious cycle in the life of the abused.

Answer 3

There are a lot of reasons, actually. Codependence is the biggest reason I can think of. It's a cycle of boy hits girl, girl gets upset, boy makes a big production of apologizing and convincing her it was a mistake and it won't happen again, girl is swept off her feet by the emotional display of love from him, boy and girl kiss and have explosive makeup sex, everything is fine again, until boy hits girl next time- then it starts again. I know that sounds weird to people who haven't experienced it, but some people need constant reassurance that they're loved, and this is how they get it. The abuser is gratified by the fact that not only did he convince her not to walk out, he has gained that much more control over her. It's a codependent cycle that repeats itself, and sometimes never ends. The abuser convinces their victim, that no one else will want them or will love them like they do, and they usually have so much control over the victim that they are stripped of the opportunity to make friends, get educated, get jobs, etc, or develop any resource that they may need to leave the relationship when they do get fed up. They end up stuck, with nowhere to go- no job, no money, no education, and a lot of the time, with children to support. Many of them also fear death- and have been threatened with it if they even think about going anywhere or telling anyone. The reasons people stay in the abusive relationship won't make any sense at all to someone who hasn't experienced it themselves- and that's because our perception of right and wrong is still intact, while theirs has been heavily influenced by their abuser and they have been convinced that they are always wrong and they somehow always deserve what they get. It's sad, but true. It can happen to men too. Women can be just as cunning and manipulative- and often their style of abuse is verbal and emotional, which is just as bad. People need to value themselves more and not allow themselves to get attached to those who attempt to control them.

Answer 4

I think that girls like a guy they can mould. If there's potential for change and they think they *might* be able to change them, they'll probably pursue it, they might see it as being an obstacle they'd like to overcome, just for the sake of accomplishing something in another person (namely, a guy that they're interested in.) Even if the guy is being a complete idiot they'll keep going after him, because they might see it as something they shouldn't really have to begin with. It kind of breaks the rules.. just like when our parents asked us when we were kids to come in at a certain time in the evening from a friend's house or just from playing outside. No one wanted to go back inside. The same kind of idea applies.. some girls seem to have this hold on the guys who don't play by the rules and these guys kind of radiate a sense of confidence and assertiveness that says "I can do what I want, and you can't stop me".. and time and time again they set themselves up for heartbreak. It's like you're dating the same guy over and over again.. One big question is, is that even if these kinds of so-called "relationships" exist.. will they ever last? That's a question to be answered.. and I don't know what to say about that. My first instinct would be "no, definitely not.." but if moulding *is* possible.. then it *could* be possible. But that brings another question into mind, because as we all get older and become more exposed to the outside world, we become set in our ways and the possibility of change or moulding becomes more and more of a remote possibility.

If you or someone else you know is in an abusive relationship, it's best to get out, get help, and not go through that extra effort - but I've given you a reason as to why people might stay in them.

Answer 5

first of all, it does not have to be a pattern as most people assume. people can be stuck in an abusive relationship because they've had no such experience before, and didn't react enough when the first signs started showing and all of a sudden they find themselves stuck.

also, typically abusers isolate their victims so they don't have a circle of support. they also choose people who are, at least temporarily, not that strong to stand up to the abusers.

Answer 6

I read some of the answers before i decided to answer you and this is my theory listen to everyone i think devil queen has picked up everything u need to know and if your still not sure then what is there left to say only you can protect yourself and only you can make it stop and only you have the power to live better healthier life by leaving that a**hole right this second cuz no matter what honey it will not get better no matter how hard you try and no matter what you do to please him or her....take some good advice from someone who has been there done that for 10 yrs ..get out while the getting is good

Answer 7

Because people like routine and are afraid of change. It is much more difficult to end a relationship than to start one. Women usually are willing to tolerate abuse longer than men would.

It is the fear of being alone or loosing someone you think you cannot replace.

Answer 8

people stay in abusive relationships because they feel that they do not deserve better. it is a physiological thing and your mind says that there must be a reason that you are being abused and its your fault that you are being abused.

Answer 9

Sometimes they have such low self-esteem that they think they deserve it. Sometimes they recognize the problem but are too afraid to do anything, because they fear for their safety or can't imagine life without the relationship. Sometimes they think they can change the other person, but that gets back to low self-esteem.

Answer 10

it depends on the person-out of fear, b/c he/she knows of no other kind of relationship to an abusive one seems "normal", lack of self confidence, poor/low self esteem, no money, b/c he/she doesn't know how to get out, "for the kid(s)-i could go on but i think u get the idea