I am being induced on Saturday, Question for both parents.?

Question

On Saturday I am being induced, my boyfriend wants his family in the waiting room.
I agreed yet wanted to notify the family that they will probably not be invited into the labour room, even in the hours before delivery. I am just a private person, it makes me uncomfortable.
Another thing that bothers me is the fact that he wants to take the baby out and pass her around within her first few hours of life.there will be 6-7 close family members that all want to hold her,
I have told my family that I cant promise that they will hold her that day, I just dont want her being passes around right away, that also makes me uncomfortable.
Although they were a little diappointed, they understand.
My boyfriend however, thinks I am being unreasonable.


Anyone want to share personal experiences?, anyone else feel this way?

Answer 1

i hope you will definitley stick to your beliefs. i'm a nurse and i agree that a brand new baby should not be passed around for the first week or so. just mommy, daddy, siblings, maybe grandparents but not all at once.
tell your bf that the baby will be tired, sore, learning to breathe air and see light and hear noises, and that more than 1 or 2 people holding him or her will make the baby more sore, and expose the baby to germs
i know that some families do have huge gatherings at the hospital and pass the baby around, but it makes the nurses cringe and it's really not thoughtful for the baby.
this is yours and his special time.
i'm happy for you! *hugs* good luck!

Answer 2

First of all, you need to feel comfortable with everything going on that day. I would not want my family in the delivery room and did not allow any of them in during my labor. Also, your boyfriend will not be able to take the baby from the delivery room and pass the baby around the waiting room. Security does not allow newborns near the waiting room and the baby will have an alarm on her that rings if he leaves the immediate maternity floor to go to any waiting room. A few relatives at a time can come into your room if you want. It is also not safe to have 7 people breathing all over a newborn. Any infection or fever in a baby under 3 months is very dangerous. Good luck!!!!!!

Answer 3

Talk to him about the importance of mom and baby not being separated in the hours immediately following the birth. Talk about initiating breastfeeding and having skin to skin contact with the baby. Tell him to invite his family to come the next day. Remind him that there is no way to know how long the labor will be so it would make you feel better if there wasn't a group of people outside the door "waiting for you to perform" so they can meet the baby. Remind him that mothers labor better when they are relaxed and that you can't relax if you are stressed out about his family. Consider a compromise that they can come in the room and see the baby for a few minutes while you are in the shower getting cleaned up afterwards, but then you want your baby back and you want everyone out so you can have privacy. If possible, talk to your doc about it and get your doc to "play the bad guy" and limit your visitors if possible.

Answer 4

I think you should let them see the baby, I do think you maybe are being a little unreasonable, but then again if it makes you that uncomfortable just tell them no visits from anyone until the next day. I am sure that won't fly with them so well, listen once your in that room and you start to have your baby it won't really truly matter anymore. Why don't you want his family to see your baby after you deliver most people do its very common. I felt kinda the same as you but its a lil different after you have the baby. You should want to show off your baby!!! I always do, it makes you feel different when people tell you how cute your baby is. I love that... Just because he is so damn cute lol... I really don't know what else to say.

Answer 5

You're not being unreasonable at all! Having a baby is a personal thing, and if you don't want other people in there, that's your choice.

Tell your boyfriend, if he wants his family in there, he can get naked, put his legs in stirrups and invite an audience.

As far as the baby being passed around, I would talk to the doctor about this. I don't' think they'll let him take the baby into the waiting room. The nurses are pretty protective of moms and babies.

Answer 6

The hospital where you deliver might now allow hime to "pass her around". Many have rules that won't allow the baby to leave the birthing area (delivery room/suite, nursery)-she will likely be weighed/measured cleaned up a bit before you get to hold her and then she will stay with you while she is being observed by the nurses with you. Some hospitals then take the babies into the nursery to be bathed and checked out by the nurse/doctor-some hospitals encourage the dad to come in there for that, but I don't think he'll be taking her out to the waiting room to be 'passed around'. Newborns can 'catch germs' easily so it is understandable that you want to protect her.

Answer 7

Firstly Good Luck with your new born bub.
I personally have not done this, but i know others that have. There is no way for starters I would let his family in the labour ward.. What he has to remember is it is you having a baby. You need to bond with this little one. For goodness sake you have been the one carrying this little bundle for about 9 months. The family will have plenty of time afterwards to hold the bub. I personally would let them see the baby but not hold it.
You know in many hospitals, the nurses will not let the family pick the baby up.
Come to think of it. When you go to the hospital and your boyfriend is not around, talk to the midwife or one of the nurses I am sure they will help you.
Last thing , put your foot down and do what you want to do.

Answer 8

Your'e not being unreasonable, you will be the one in pain and if you are uncomfortable then don't let them come into the delivery room. Tell them they can come look at her in the window but you would prefer they don't hold her because you want to be alone with the baby and you don't the baby to be sick from all the people that are wanting to hold her. and besides all this after having a baby you are going to need rest and you can't rest with everyone there, but by no means are you being unreasonable.

GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 9

Congratulations!!! I can only give you my opinion from my personal experience. I completely understand you not wanting everyone in the delivery room. I thought I was a very private person as well. I would suggest as you said to tell them they are welcome to wait in the waiting room. Maybe if you invite them in for a quick Hello!! in the early stages of you labor you will make them feel welcome. Your may be surprised at how comfortable you will become. Trust me after you have countless nurses and doctors examining you countless times depending on how long it takes you become much less self-conscious. As for not wanting to pass her around, that will be more tricky. I guess make it known that it is not anything against any anyone. Your really need to have your boyfriend in agreement with you before Saturday. Also with all three of my kids they took them to the nursery soon after to clean them up and to do their observations so that may not even be an immediate problem. Good Luck!!!

Answer 10

It is your baby and I think you have the right to your own decision.

If you do not want a lot of people holding the baby then make that known. You can tell the nurse that you are uncomfortable with a lot of people in the room and want them to leave now.

I didn't mind people in the room with me before delivery, during & after. I was happy that there were people there. But everyone is different.