I want to have a baby but im unger 17 and the only thing stopping me is my father?

Question

i want a baby more than anything and i think im capable of raising it very well to its just my father im scared to death of him

Answer 1

Your father is right. He knows and wants the best for you. You have plenty of time to have kids in the future. Give it 5 years. Right now, you need to enjoy your life. You are still young. Remember, once you cross into adulthood, you can never go back.

Answer 2

Have you sat down and really thought out your feelings as to WHY you want a baby "so bad"? It may not be that you want a baby at all but what you may actually be experiencing is some sort of empiness inside, a void that you're trying to fill with a child. This will not work. You do not mention your mother in your scenario. Is she around? Do you have a good or bad relationship with her? Whether she is in your life or not, your father sounds like an awesome Dad. Don't disappoint him. He obviously loves you so, so much. Having a teenage pregnant daughter is not something any parent wants - especially a father with reference to his daughter.

Live your life - go to school and get an education, get a good job so you can be financially stable, become an adult FIRST and when the time is right have a child preferably in a marriage situation. Do you think a 17 year old boy like you is going to stick around for the responsibility of a child? You can bet 100% he won't. He'll be seeking out the next teenager to sleep with too. How will you feel when he moves on and you have to raise this child ALONE - both emotionally and financially? And, just in case - DON'T ever think a child will tie down a person. It wouldn't tie down a grown man, let alone a teenage boy. And do you realize how EXPENSIVE it is to raise a child?? It is not your time now for a child, you have so much more to make of yourself, so much more to experience, so much more to learn. Don't take that away from yourself! Enjoy your teen years, and don't try to grow up before your time. You will never get these years back again.

Answer 3

First of all, your only 17 and most 17 year olds are irrational and impulsive, but those aren't necessarily bad things. Those things help teenagers learn limits and build better judgement. In your case I think your impulsiveness is getting the best of you. The fact that you are worried about what your father thinks shows your immaturity. If you were really as ready as you say you are you wouldn't be worried about how your father would react. Your father wants the best for you and having a child when you are still a child is not the best for you. You have more than enough time to find a man who loves you for who you are and not what in your pants. Give yourself time enjoy being 17 without responsiblity. These are the best times of your life, don't ruin them rushing into adulthood.

Second of all, you haven't even finished high school yet and raising a child on minimum wage is more difficult than you might think. Going to school pregnant is way more difficult than you might think, especially if all you friends are popping out babies like its the new cool thing to do. Be different. Actually get married before you get pregnant. More importantly be old enough to vote, get a driver's liscense, get a full-time job, drink, and do all the other stuff that only grown-ups can do.

I think you should really think about the decision you are trying to make before you ruin your life and more importantly the life of a child who has no choice but to be born.

Answer 4

First of all, you're 17 shouldn't you be in high school or something studying for your SATs? Do you have a husband? a job? I am sorry darlin' your dad is right and he should do all he can to stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life. You have plenty of time to have a baby and raise a child. You're a baby for God's sake! What do you know about raising a child? Listen, take a moment to think about how your life would suddenly change so drastically that even you couldn't keep up with it. Take advantage of your youth and when you meet the right man later on in life and have a family of your own, you will be thankful that you waited.

Think about it... while you still have time.

Answer 5

I think it's perfectly normal to WANT a baby during your teen years. You're maturing, and your hormones are at different levels. Really think over this decision, however. How will it affect you? Your family? Your education and life-plans?

18 signifies a great stage in a woman's life - but it does not indicate instant maturity. Being younger than 18, you are full of hopes, wants and ideals...but please, think things through and even wait. A baby this year means you're a mother for life. Continuing education, partying, dating...everything will be altered and affected by this decision. Are you of legal age to drive the baby to the doctor? Sign all the paperwork needed to become a parent?

To work with your "baby desire" try assisting a friend or realitive with child care, or even try to get a job in child care. Just being around children will help ease this desire and make your life a little more happy and fun (speaking from experience here). Hone in your nurturing on other children and wait until you are ready...really really ready...before you plan on starting a family. You have plenty of time to start a family hon. Make sure you're ready for that lifetime committment.

As for your father - he is just worried about you. Parents see the "long-term" of issues and not just the instant gratification a lot of younger adults see. Really talk this over with someone...be it family, an older friend, a counselor, or even someone who's been there themselves. It's not my place to tell you "No! Wait on it" but that is the best advise I can give you. You'll know deep inside when you're ready. For now - nurture what is left of your teenage years and concentrate on building a life that will better benifit a baby and yourself down the road.

Best wishes in whatever decision you make, and I hope you take the time to really think over your options and weigh this issue out. =)

Answer 6

Angel, are you sure it is a baby you want? Or is there something else missing in your life that you truly want? Most young girls say they want a baby because they want something to love or something that will love them back. Babies and children are most ungrateful and demand more than they give back, which doesn't fulfil the mother who was looking for 'something to love them back'. Young mums can be just as good as older mums but wouldn't your life and the life of the baby be way better off if you didn't have to stress about where the money is going to come from or where you are going to live? Wouldn't the experience be that much easier if you had a husband to help you in that journey, share the joys, provide for you and the baby?
If you were thinking of buying a car you would do some research before you bought one..the same thing goes with children..wouldn't you want to be prepared? You are going to do what you want in the end but maybe talk with your mum and dad about why you crave to have a baby right now, or talk it out with the school counsellor, or a trusted adult who can help you explore your feelings. Good luck. I wish you well.

Answer 7

You are the female equivalent of the man who runs around with his fly unzipped, trying to have sex with every woman in town.

I realize in this female dominated society, I will immediately be vilified for saying that, but it is true. You are both letting your hormones control your life and thus want to do stupid things.

Do you understand you are not yet an adult, but you are proposing to have a baby that will need care and support for the next 22 years?

And, you can't even support him or her? So, who is supposed to pay all the expenses for your little adventure? The sperm donor? Hey, he won't have the money. Yeah, I imagine your dad is a bit p-o'd at the thought you are expecting him to support your own brat.

Or, the taxpayers? You don't have any job training, do you? Part of raising a kid is financially supporting it. If you mooch on others, you're not raising that kid, they are.


Do you understand most men in prison have been raised by unwed mothers in a single parent household? Sure, you women think you can do such a great job raising a kid all by yourself, then when it turns to trash, you want to blame every other person on the planet but yourself.

I say, good for your dad! If you do this stupid thing, I hope the day you are a legal adult, he shows you where the front door of your house is, and tells you to take your charming little child and don't come back.

Calm down, just as we demand the over-sexed maniac calm down. Get an education; learn how to marry and stay married, then find a man who will be there for you and the baby(ies) until they are grown.

Answer 8

Girl u really need to wait.. If you think that being a mom is easy then you have another thing comin. The reason I say what I say is because I'm a mom and I had my son at 16yrs old. If you really want a baby I would say wait til ur 18 and then ur can make ur own choices and don't have to worry about ur dad... Plus u still have ur whole life a head of you, and having a baby this early means that u don't get to go out and do you thing. Your still a baby have a little fun when you hit 18 and you'll see what I mean...

Answer 9

There are two issues here.. having a baby while under 17 and not married... and your fear of your father.

I used to dream of having a baby when I was your age too, most of us did. We knew that we weren't ready yet, though, and that we had to do certain things first to be ready. One important thing is to be married to a good man who will help to raise the baby.

Your father is right to discourage you at this point,,, but why are you afraid of him? Is he abusive to you? tht is a concern.

You don't say how much under 17 you are... is it a few months? or a few years? if it is a few months, then you will be 18 before long and can think about going to college, and you will be more mature and independent. If it is a few years,, like you are 14, then it would be good to talk to your mom? aunt? school counselor?

Someone mentioned a puppy. having a pet is good training for the responsibilites of caring for another live being. Babysitting is too. How about that for now?

Answer 10

Listen to your dad. Why not wait until you have a stable income of your own (not from a BF, but money that you make) and I do not mean flipping burgers or waiting table. You need a solid income, not to mention an education, to be able to provide everything you baby needs. Don't be self in your decision, think about your future child's needs. Do you think that your child will want to live in poverty and on all forms of government assistance, just because you didn't graduate high school, or go to college or a trade school? Kids are mean and your kid will be tortured for being poor. You have the choice now to build a strong, solid future for you and your future family. Wait, you shouldn't ruin your life, and the life of you potential children just because "you want a baby"

Answer 11

Do you have a job?
Do you have a place for the baby to sleep?
Can you afford everything for the baby?
Can you find proper childcare while your in school and working?
Can you afford that proper child care?
Can you wake up several times during the night with a baby but still be able to get up in the morning to go to school and concentrate on your work?


The list of questions go on and on and so many teens think they are ready for kids when the fact is they are not.

A baby is a lot of responsibility and a lot of money. Just getting ready for the baby to come into the world will cost you well over 1,000 dollars and seeing as you are going to be going to school and have to get a job to support the baby when exactly will you ever even get to spend time with the baby?

Babies can be easy for the first 6 months because all they do is sleep but what happens when they hit 6 months and start crawling and getting into everything? You can not even sit down for a second without having to get up and chase them and beleive me they do get into EVERYTHING....

You can also kiss a lot of things goodbye like hanging with your friends and buying stuff for yourself. Baby comes first and by the time your done paying for stuff for the baby thier will be nothing left to buy you anything and you will not have any time to go out and have fun with friends like say when you hit 18 how are going to feel when all your friends are going to clubs and out partying while your stuck at home taking care of a kid and note you want a baby and babies only stay babies for a small amount of time and then what happens you push it aside and go get knocked up again?

I actually got pregnant at 16 and had a baby at 17 and it has been hell raising a baby on my own and the money I have spent good grief and I rarely get sleep because I am eaither working or at college and I was very lucky I did not have to worry about child care because my parents helped, my mom watched him while I work and go to class but you may nto be that lucky your family may say screw you, you wanted this you deal with it so you have to go out and pay for someone to watch your child.

Do not be so quick to grow up because once you have that baby thier is no turning back and you have your whole life to have a baby.