my friend used to like this guy and she eventually got over him, or so i thought. now me and that same guy are talking. i wanted to be a good friend by telling her i was interested in him, knowing that she had a major crush on him in the past. she sounded curious and asked me a lot of questions about me and him. she sounded a bit mad but in the end she said she was ok with me and him. i don't think i need anyone's permission to date him but i felt i should be a good friend and tell her. i still think she's not ok with it and it bothers me. was i wrong for being honest with her? please help!
2006-08-10 13:56:34 · 21 answers · asked by vicky 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think you were a great friend to let her know about you and her former crush. Why try to hide something that would eventually come to light anyway? You wouldn't want her to do that to you! Now it's out in the open and you can feel more comfortable getting to know this guy without worrying that your friend will accidentally find out and have her feelings hurt. That could hurt your friendship, and no guy is worth losing a good friend over.
Even if you feel your friend is not all the way ok with it, you've done your part. This isn't her X-fiance or X-husband we're talking about, just some guy she used to like. It's ok... nurture your friendship by not flaunting this guy in her face, but don't hide it either. Be true to yourself and your friend.
2006-08-10 14:06:43 · answer #1 · answered by sugar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you were upfront and honest, so there's nothing wrong w/ that. But I will never be ok w/ going after a friend's crush, boyfriend, or ex. It might be lame, but when a girl has a crush on a guy, or vice versa, the crush is always linked to that person. No matter how unrealistic the hopes are. He will always be hers. Now not only does she not have the guy she wanted, but now she has to see him having fun w/ her bestfriend.
2006-08-10 21:08:00 · answer #2 · answered by decababe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you were not wrong in telling her about you and this guy. She would have found out sooner or later and it was best that you told her upfront and gave her the opportunity to voice her opinion. My personal opinion is that she is a bit jealous of you now. If she like the guy and he never had anything to do with her.. she feels somewhat inferior in looks personality etc. She may be distant for a bit, but deep down inside her if she is mature about this.. she will overcome these feelings and still remain your friend. I commend you for talking about this to her first. That shows true friendship and that you cared about her feelings. Good Luck.
2006-08-10 21:06:36 · answer #3 · answered by Peanut Butter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to tell it from the other persons point of view at least you were honest but it still hurts a lot. My best friend stole they guy I loved right from under my nose. She told me they were interested in eachother but they wanted to see if I was okay with it first. I wasn't obviously! I have not talked to her since. Is a guy really worth the friendship? She may not feel comfortable telling you how she truly feels. Do what you feel you need to but take into concideration how your friend feels.
2006-08-10 21:03:56 · answer #4 · answered by Sherrie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you were not wrong for being honest with her that is the key tip in having a good friendship but if you she liked that person and so did you you should have told her sooner she might think you wanted him for herself and no see is not cool with the two of you going out let me put it this way if she liked him a while back and yall are together if yall go out she would not be comfortable with even if she decides to with yall and if she stills like him and like him a lot theres a chance that she will soon come on to him or tell him she once liked him.
2006-08-10 21:12:44 · answer #5 · answered by pappy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, how would you feel if ur bestfriend was dating your ex, that you really liked back in the day. That wouldnt feel too good. I dont think its right for a friend to date a friend's Ex. Its in the bestfriend handbook lol. But yeah, she probably frontin and dont want to hurt you, but i know deep down inside she is really hurtin because you talking to him. I dont think u should get involved with him, its not right.
2006-08-10 21:54:44 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not possible to be wrong by being honest. Ever heard the saying, 'HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY'?? If she found out some other way then it would look like you were hiding it from her and you were doing something wrong, but you're not.
2006-08-10 21:35:24 · answer #7 · answered by nel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You weren't wrong. It was the best thing you could have. If she says yes, she can be as mad as she wants, but it can't bug her that much. If it did, she wouldn't have agreed. If you're really worried, friends last longer than crushes.
2006-08-10 21:03:07 · answer #8 · answered by alibababbb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i guess that depends on a few things.
1 were they together
2 did she love him
3 how good of friends are you
think of these things nothing ruins a friendship faster then a person of the oppisite sex i believe
2006-08-10 21:04:43 · answer #9 · answered by Kim Y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's a territorial issue...he used to be hers even tho he's not anymore. And she's probably feeling her friendship with you is betrayed. Give her some time....you might have to make a choice
2006-08-10 21:06:37 · answer #10 · answered by 000000000000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋