How can I help my boyfriend see that our little girl is just as much a blessing as any boy would be? He was so upset when he found out it's a girl and he's leaving for 9 weeks of school soon. He was so excited when he thought it was a boy and now ... he's been crying becasue he's upset it isn't. I'm upset that I couldn't have his little boy for him and he doesn't want to try again later after this girl is born when he did want to try for another before we knew. How can I help him see her as his precious baby girl when he's so upset? How can I help him to overcome his disappointment and become joyous again?
2006-08-10 13:40:53 · 28 answers · asked by Lissa 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
He's 34 and this his first child even though he's been married twice before. The first time his wife was so unmotivated it drove them apart and the second time his other wife beat him. He wanted to name his little boy after his grandfather who was a very gentle and loving person. Now he can't do that and he's disappointed. I just don't know what to do. How can I live with this until she's born so she can steal his heart away? I am so upset right now I've been crying most of the afternoon. He says he just never wanted a girl. He's felt distant lately and sometimes I ask myself where he's gone to hide inside himself. I'm so afraid this and his going away to school for 9 weeks will drive him away from me since I'm having a girl. Basically he's crushed my heart and the only desire I have right now is for him to want her. What do I do? I'm so lost.
2006-08-10 14:04:51 · update #1
You cannot help him overcome his disappointment, only he can do that. If he is any sort of a guy he will be over-the-moon when he sets eyes on his child for the first time, whether a boy or a girl. If he doesn't, then he is most ungrateful and there is nothing you can do but adore your baby and let him work himself out. Congratulations to you both..a beautiful soul is coming into the world.
2006-08-10 13:46:46 · answer #1 · answered by anything_my_child 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He sounds like a big baby...although I cried when I found out my second one was another boy...then I got used to the idea and I was really just happy he was a healthy baby. Now he's 3 and I wouldn't want it any other way...it would not be the same if I had had a girl. I'm very grateful for my very beautiful, blonde, brown eyed little boys. Tell him he should be greatful that the baby is healthy and that she's part of the two of you. Don't you be upset that you didn't give him a boy...your giving him a little girl. He really needs to get over this...I mean c'mon!! I'm sure once he see's her he will fall in love...but he's got to stop crying...I mean it's not like he has to turn in to a giant watermelon and go through labor and delivery...that's something to cry about.
2006-08-10 20:51:03 · answer #2 · answered by rockalittle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very easy for me to say that he's a shallow, selfish, jackass, but I would LIKE to say that once he sees his beautiful baby girl's face, all that disappointment will be washed away. Whatever you do, don't let him bring you down. I have two children, a boy and a girl, but they are my last. I had my tubes tied after my son was born. Enjoy your pregnancy and never forget what it feels like to have another life growing inside of you. The little flutter of their movement is the most wonderful feeling in the world. My children both used to get the hiccups and it brought so much joy to me to be able to experience that. So again, do NOT let him make you feel bad or guilty about this pregnancy just because he didn't get his way. Tell him to get over it!
2006-08-10 20:52:00 · answer #3 · answered by Shelby67grl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he 12? my god THAT'S DUMB. I've heard of being let down but, actually crying because he is having a daughter is so selfish he dose not deserve any child. I'm 20 weeks even my 8 year old, who wants a sister said she would be fine with a brother if that's what GOD gave us....if a Lil child can understand and accept that he must be totally immature. It's normal to want one gender over another but, being totally crushed by not getting that is rare. HOPEFULLY he will see her and LOVE her, if not move on.
2006-08-10 20:55:56 · answer #4 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Borrow a friend's little boy-or have him hang out with it for awhile. Two-year-olds are best.
See if you can do the same with a girl, her about five.
Girls are cleaner, quieter, and much less of a pain in the A55.
He'll get over it.
My best friend's father was blessed with two daughters. He's a farmer. They did as much work and more as a couple of boys would have and grew up to be unusually strong, respectable women. Nowadays girls have the same opportunities as the guys, and can kick just as much tail.
2006-08-10 20:52:17 · answer #5 · answered by Roadpizza 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him sometime to adjust to the disappointment. Fathers have a unique bond with their little girls and I'm sure once she's here he will see what a blessing she is. There isnt much you can do, just let him come around And if I do say so myself he's an as s for making you feel guilty that you are not carrying a boy. Just relax and with time he will be fine
2006-08-10 20:50:11 · answer #6 · answered by watson4_27 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I thought my baby was going to be a girl so I could name her after my mother who is dead ten years. I also wanted it to be a surprise, so I didn't want to know the sex until the baby was born. I had an amnio to make sure everything was OK and my husband insisted on knowing the sex and I couldn't resist--and we found out it was a boy. To my surprise, I was disappointed and I felt guilty because of it. It took me a while to get past it, but by the time he was born, I was excited that we were having a baby again. (He was born on my mother's birthday, btw, so I was able to honor her just the same.)
This isn't unusual. He just needs to get used to it. Congratulations!
2006-08-10 20:47:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow that isn't good. He should see it the way you do as a blessing. As is any baby reguardless of the sex. Just tell him hey there is a reason for everything and this little girl will be his world reguardless. Also let him know that little girls tend to be daddy's girls. You guys can always have another. goodluck and I hope this helps
2006-08-10 20:46:13 · answer #8 · answered by embsmg 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this is probably a common reaction among men who find out that they're having a daughter as opposed to a son, although I think most men wouldn't cry about it...they'd hide their feelings and act happy. Your boyfriend sounds INCREDIBLY selfish. He should be happy (and pray) that you'll have a HEALTHY, NORMAL baby, regardless of the sex of the child.
I'm betting once your daughter is born, he's going to forget any negative thoughts he ever had about having a girl, and he'll be elated. I doubt there's anything you can say or do to make him realize this now...you just have to give it time and wait for her to be born.
2006-08-10 20:52:24 · answer #9 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What a loser! He's upset because your not having a little him? Let me guess, he wanted to name the boy after himself, too, right? He doesn't want a child, he wants a mirror that reflects his perfect glory as a man. Dump is a** now, before he starts to abuse either of you (or both).
2006-08-10 20:50:05 · answer #10 · answered by yossarius 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋