How do I become more outgoing and accepting of myself?

Question

Please help me...it's just I am extremely shy and introverted in school. I really don't mean to be, but I don't know how to just come out of my shell and be myself around others. If anybody has any ideas on what I can do to become more outgoing I'd really appreciate it. :)

I know that I should be more confident but I really don't know how to do that..

thank you guys for all of the answers so far..they all are really helpful! =)

Answer 1

I have been very introvert at school as well and know how it feels.

If you want to be yourself around others it is very important that you accept yourself the way you are. Become aware about your strenghts and start to love yourself. If you do so others will realise that and become more interested in you.

Perhaps the reason why you feel shy is that you think others don't like you. This is usually a misperception and,moreover, it is not a helpful way of thinking.

If you talk to somebody don't think about what this person might think about you, instead just act. It does not matter what this person thinks about you. Say to yourself: If you respond positively to me, I will be happy, if you don't that's ok as well! Nobody is obliged to like me!

If you would like to get to know somebody just smile and say Hi! and see how the conversation develops. don't think too much in advance about what to say. just do it! From my experience it's a good idea to start a conversation with a simple question about something you both have a common interest in, ...an issue that the other person is likely to be interested in talking about. e.g. "What do you think about...?" "How did you find...?"

if you practice chatting with others regularly you will over time become more comfortable and confident doing so and thereby also become more self-confident!

Answer 2

I had the exact same problem in middle school, and I'm still a bit shy and bashful, but people love me for who I am. And when I want to be, I can be funny, make people laugh, tell stories, but I've always been more independent. I have my reasons from over the years but just talk to more people when you have the chance, and trust me, people will listen. I used to feel like I was constantly being judged by others, but in the end people are so caught up with their own lives, they're gonna forget if you said something stupid or embarrassed yourself. There's a great saying that you probably know that may have no validity to you whatsoeve: "None of this will matter in 10 years" But it's completely true, and even though you are busy living your life right now, be social, even though it might be difficult at first. You sound like a really smart person who deserves to enjoy their young years... I mean I'm fourteen and I promis myself that freshman year in highschool I will make a bunch of new friends. Get into a team sport and get to know people, than branch off from there. Once you notice how many people really do like you, your confidence will boost and you'll be completely fine.

Answer 3

Speak the truth & you'll usually get the truth. Be real & don't play games with people. If you do play game, then stop & you will see a big difference in how you are treated by others. Take baby steps (one step at a time). Slowly do things that you are not used to. Go to the movies by yourself & you might see some one you know or maybe you'll meet someone to talk to AFTER the movie. Go to social places, like coffee houses & poetry readings. Go to the Library. You'll discover a whole new world. Volunteer in the childrens reading section & read stories to children (they won't judge you). Make someone's day by giving them a freshly picked flower. Just walk up to them, hand it over & walk away. You can say "Here, this is for you....just because!" Have fun with life & it will reward you in the strangest ways. You'll get there when the time is right, You can't force these things on yourself!

Answer 4

Hi
I've always been a very introverted and insecure person myself. Obviously, I have no idea where your coming from spiritually. I can only tell you what has worked for me. The closer I get to God and accept His love, the less insecure I am. It has also helped that He lead me to an awesome church with totally supportive friends. Having friends that are truly excited to see you when you walk up is an amazing feeling. Now that I'm overcoming my insecurities, I'm realizing that I had friends like that before, I was just to focused on myself to see it. I always thought I was insecure because of all the rejection I felt..... truth is... I felt all the rejection (some real, most in my own head) because I was insecure. Something else that has really helped me is finding other people who are hurting and helping them. You truly do reap what you sow.

Answer 5

daily affirmation. Look at yourself in the mirror every day, and tell yourself that you are special, that you are good enough, and that people really like you. When you go to school everyday, just know that it's ok to speak to people. And don't try to put others on a pedestal. Just because you are fond of somebody at school does not mean that they are liked by everybody. The best bet is that if they talk a lot and are very outgoing, that there are a lot of people who don't like them. People will always think highly of you as long as they don't know too much about you. I bet that they think you are very smart because you don't talk a lot.

Answer 6

Hey! I'm kinda shy like you and believe me, I know what you go through! Ever since... hmm, late years in elementary school! I'm going to be a sophomore in high school now, and I'm getting some confidence now. Here are some things I did to try to get out of my shell and be a bit more outgoing (they may prove helpful to you!). There's an MUN program at school (it's like the United Nations -- high school style, but still with an air of professionalism). I joined it immediately... the writing and research for it was pretty easy, and I got to meet and even make friends with people from other local high schools. You should try to make a big step forward and join a club, be it at school or at your church. You'll feel comfortable once you meet other people, like I have done. I confess that I am VERY SHY, but that's starting to shake off ever since I turned freshman; I also joined golf. I got to meet others there that were fun to be around with, and we're still cool. Also, don't be too afraid to tell your friends about your problem with shyness. I told one of my closest friends and she said it was okay, since she used to be shy, but now with time she's like, the most out-gioing-est and hyper person I've ever met! SO while you're waiting for time to make you an outgoing person (I'll be waiting for it too, don't worry!), try to do some thing that's new for you, and have lots of fun with it. First time I tried golf I was SO BAD, but now I'm getting better, and might even join varsity! So, join a club with your friends, try out for sports, and in time, you'll be a happy person!! :)

Answer 7

RE:
How do I become more outgoing and accepting of myself?
Please help me...it's just I am extremely shy and introverted in school. I really don't mean to be, but I don't know how to just come out of my shell and be myself around others. If anybody has any ideas on what I can do to become more outgoing I'd really appreciate it. :)

Answer 8

Give yourself a small challenge--like saying "HI" and smiling to 2 new people a day. After a while you'll be the "friendly, smiley girl" and people will respond in kind. Soon it will be easier to open up. Another good way is to join a club--it's a little easier in small groups to get to know people and be yourself. Make sure it's a club that you are really interested in! Have fun and good luck!

Answer 9

Just become more accepting of others and you will become more outgoing at the same time.

Answer 10

Sometimes shyness means that you are self-conscious. To overcome this, dress and do your hair the best that you can and then forget about how you look. Join some school clubs that you're interested in. Get in the habit of occasionally giving someone a sincere compliment. Be interested in others and that will help you forget your shyness.