please help me. i'm having a really hard time dealing with the fact that my bf's ex still talks to him. not everytime, but sometimes when i find out they've talked, or if i see that she's posted comments on his 360, it frustrates me. i hope i'm not being a fool for trusting him, but i do 100%, as i love him the same...i just want to know of some ways that will help me better deal with this cuz it's periodically making things unpeaceful. i'm not God and i can't rid of her with a leaf blower, altho i wish i could. so please help!
2006-08-10 13:17:59 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Oh my. Well, sometimes it's perfectly okay when exes talk to each other. Like, I talk to my ex every few weeks on the phone, and my fiance isn't nervous or edgy about it since he knows that that relationship of mine is way in the past. It's weird to maintain a friendship after a love relationship, I guess...but in some cases, it makes total sense. It is a case-by-case basis.
What you need to do to feel more comfortable is first find out for real what your boyfriend's intentions are. If he is holding on to any hope of getting back with his ex, he should tell you. (I know: Getting someone to admit such a thing is difficult.) Or, if he just sincerely wants to remain friends with his ex, you will have to come to believe him. It will be hard, but here are some things that could help: Ask him that every time he communicates with his ex that he let you know they talked and also tell you what about. This will keep nothing secret or in the shadows. If everything is above-board, then over time you will become comfortable with it. However, if he starts hiding things from you, then you have a right to get upset and worried. That is, if he agrees to fill you in 100%, then you find out he didn't, you have grounds for an explanation. If your boyfriend truly has nothing to hide, then he won't mind sharing any and all information with you. If he does have something to hide, then he will mind.
If it turns out he has nothing to hide, you will adjust over time. The ex will become less and less of a threat to your inner stability.
2006-08-10 13:26:02 · answer #1 · answered by Gestalt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-06 00:30:17 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres no reason to get rid of her, things between them are done and she should be viewed as any other girl now. I am friends with almost all of my ex boyfriends, it's silly to do away with a great friendship jsut becasue a different level of a relationship didn't workout. If he's your boyfriend then you need to trust him, theres no reason to get rid of her and you should go ahead and be friednlier to her as well. I'm sure in tiem you'll have an ex here or there that you decide to stay friends with. Theres no reason for people to hate each other when we can all be friends. Try not to get yourself upset over that, shes jsut a friend of his and theres nothing wrong with that.
2006-08-10 13:25:29 · answer #3 · answered by K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well some1 is jealous thats for sure u gotta be able to trust ur partner he would probably never cheat on u if he really loved u so just chillax because no man likes a girl whos jealous of his ex he'll end up dumping u if u get too in the way
2006-08-10 13:25:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to feel the same about my boyfriend's ex. But I also still talk to my ex. I felt a LOT better when she got her own new man. Don't act jealous but just be aware of what is going on. You could try to meet her and be nice and she if she is cool - it happens.
2006-08-10 13:23:33 · answer #5 · answered by Stella Blue 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you spoken to you boyfriend about this yet? If you haven't it's about time that you told him how you feel. If it makes you uncomfortable let him know that mayb he'll ease up a bit. Tell him in a nice polite way. I kow it won't be and easy thing but if he loves you he'll understand. Tell him already! Good Luck.
2006-08-10 13:26:50 · answer #6 · answered by friend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should listen to your inner you. If something is making you suspicious there is a reason why. Plus, why does he want to talk to her anyways? The only reason that I kept talking with my ex was because we were still sleeping together occasionally. I have not contacted him since I met someone new.
2006-08-10 13:26:16 · answer #7 · answered by Nicky 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if the comments are flirty watch out, b/c ex girlfriends can be tricky, as a guy i know this, but at the same time, do everyhing u can to show him that u are the one for him, dont get on his case about it, it will push him away, just let him know ur there and y she is the ex...
2006-08-10 13:23:22 · answer #8 · answered by ax3soul 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just deal with it. Whatever is supposed to happen is going to happen anyway...no matter what you do. If you do trust him like you say you do, then it shouldn't matter.
2006-08-10 13:23:28 · answer #9 · answered by Shelby67grl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry if you have confidence and are secure in your relationship , and your self esteem will take above all that so dont worry be happy,l
2006-08-10 13:22:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋