ok I am not out yet, but i am prolly goingt o come out this year. I know there will be discrimination, and i would rather know how to overcome it now then suffer.. So how do I?
2006-08-10 12:35:36 · 16 answers · asked by Me lol 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Contrary to what some say about keeping it low, I believe you should take pride in who and what you are. Being homosexual isn't WHO you are, it is just a term created by society to label your sexual orientation and whom you choose to bed. Discrimination is one of the harsh truths of the world, but the way to overcome it is NOT to avoid it, but to confront it as directly as possible. Why should homosexuals hide themselves when heterosexuals don't?
Overcoming discrimination can be done in many ways... by confiding in a friend, a trusted confidante, by joining support groups, and by trying to fit in. Personally, if I were you, I'd stick it to them. Show them that you don't care if they choose to have their own petty little opinions based solely on this meaningless label. Show them that you're strong, with or without their support. That you could care less if they accept you, or if they reject you. It might hurt at first, but at least after everything's said and done, you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that you remained true to yourself the whole way through. That you didn't comply to their world's expectation of hiding in the corners or being fearful of their reactions. The only thing to truly fear is oppression by the elite majority, which currently happens to be the heterosexual male-- to be submissive to their demands is to be unheard. Speak out, have a voice, and the oppressors shall have no more power over you.
So my advice is... be whoever you desire to be. You may lose some friends along the way, but then... if they desert you during such a fragile, emotional time in your life, then they were never truly friends in the first place. Overcoming the pain of discrimination may be difficult, but the only way to do it is to prove to those that discriminate that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about your chosen lifestyle-- that they have NO RIGHT to judge you based on sexual orientation. This may not make it any easier to take when people cruelly taunt you, or when they jeer at you behind your back, but ultimately, you can just shoulder the misery and move on. Because years from now, after you've already come out, would it matter what these people think? Would it matter what society thinks? The only opinion that matters is your own.
Good luck with coming out. Hopefully you'll take my words to heart. Message me if you feel like talking <3
2006-08-10 13:02:28 · answer #1 · answered by Zyxxin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you do come out so to speak, then make sure that you have a few close friends to support you. Family in general will react in one of two ways. I've had friends who's family have accepted the news and others who have kicked their son out of the house. You need to perpare yourself emotional for the answer you will receive, in some cases for the verbal abuse you will suffer at the hands of loved ones, and for the many invesive questions you will be asked.
You need to be strong and have the support of your friends to deal with it. That said, many people don't feel the need to come out of the closet and lead very happy lives. It's become an unspoken acceptance with their family but just not talked about and they are happy with that.
In the end you need to do what's right for you, always. And if you think that the timing for this is now then I wish you the best of luck. And if not, then no matter when or what you choose, or who you tell and don't tell, you will always be you and noone can take that away from you.
Hugs
B.
2006-08-10 19:50:50 · answer #2 · answered by God 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
there's no real way to avoid the discrimination... you will quickly find out who your "true friends" are, and how well your family stands behind you. When I was attending high school, I hung out with several gay friends & goths and they stayed my friends more than everyone else, because they know what it's like to be a social outcast.
Once you say those words "I'm gay" your life changes dramatically & forever. When I told my parents, my dad said pretty much 'whatever floats your boat'... and my mom practically threatened to disown me... and she's still afraid of me for that reason. I finally said the hell with it & told her I was lying when I said that I liked girls as well as guys, just so I could get her to shut up.
The sad thing is, in this day & age when homosexuality is becoming such a common thing, homophobia still runs quite strongly... and people treat you as if being homosexual was a disease.
All I can say for any words of advice is, just keep in mind people are going to look at you differently from now on. When their ignorance seems to get to you, just keep telling yourself its not what they think & believe about you that matters... its what you think about yourself & how you believe in yourself that really matters. You're still a good person no matter what.
2006-08-10 20:06:31 · answer #3 · answered by Tory 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are not willing to suffer a little, I would suggest staying in the closet. There will be discrimination and it will probably hurt you, but you cant overcome it until it happens to you. Good Luck
2006-08-10 19:58:12 · answer #4 · answered by sis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Surround yourself with good people. Depending on your area, you might be surprised. (My college is a pretty decent place to be gay, for example). When stuff does come along, it's kind of your call. Statistically speaking, a LOT of stuff goes unreported. If you want to make a scene, write letters (and get organizations in the area to do likewise), or take legal action, that's all your call.
2006-08-11 22:43:48 · answer #5 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to find some trusted friends to come out to first so that you will have a good in-person support network in case anyone does take the news badly.
2006-08-10 19:42:29 · answer #6 · answered by Drewe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just be strong and don't take it personally. some ppl are going to dislike u no matter what; even if u keep ur orientation to urself, they'll find another reason not to like u. u might want to lean on ur friends for when it gets rough or ur family if they accept u. personally, i believe ppl who discriminate like that without even knowing u don't deserve my wasting time worrying about them because they're not worth knowing. the ppl who accept u as u are, those are the ppl worth ur time.
2006-08-10 20:03:57 · answer #7 · answered by lady sixx 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
contact the gay center, ccall th gay hotline, check out any gay activities in your area and contact pflag.org-- great nat'l org for the education & support of lgbt people and their families.
How old are you? If you're not close to graduating and moving out, be prepared to cover your tush. Have a plan in case your folks can't deal with it. Talk to relatives, teachers, friends' parents to see how they feel about homosexuality in general.
2006-08-12 05:52:28 · answer #8 · answered by reme_1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you find out let me know I'm still in the closet and been here for so many years I have dust Bunny's on top of dust Bunny's on me lol... I wish you the best though
2006-08-10 19:42:18 · answer #9 · answered by Super 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to tell you if that is right or wrong that would be a different q&a but i will tell you if this what you choose to do you have to be strong enough to take the sneers, walk tall and don't let the comments get to you on a personal bascis. ther is more than one way to be "different" than the norm. and we all react different to it. don't let them get in your head and stand tall for what you believe. good luck what ever way you go.
2006-08-10 19:45:02 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋