Need help dealing with kids new step dad and new baby half sibling...have you been thought this?

Question

Within 18 months my kids have seen their parents divorce, mother, date, remarry, have a baby and are getting ready to change schools for the second time. Also..miss them terribly...every other weekend and a day or two now and then does not make up for the day to day contact. How do I cope?

Answer 1

it will get better!!!!!!!

Answer 2

I have kinda the same situation with my ex he is in a fairly new relationship almost a year they have been together he was abusive to me so left after being together for 20 yrs bcuz I didnt want my kids to see that stuff anymore well now the girl he is with abuses him they fight all of the time and they have moved like 4 times my kids have nowhere to sleep when they go over there .so I know how hard it is on you to see that but ...as a mom all I would hope for is that you call as often as possible try to stay involved in everything they do school,ect..and believe me I have my kids 24/7 straight and he gets them sat at noon to sun about 5pm (this is how he wants it) every two weeks no phone calls in between and my kids still talk about him like he is gold and I dont stop them so don't worry if you have made any memories at all they will stick to them and keep them going by doing things with them ...oh yea and mabey join a support group or a online group to vent it helps good luck

Answer 3

I have delt with this personally....i divorced my husband and a year later had a baby with someone else...I make sure that the kids are there for him...father's day and birthdays etc...we also have a system that they go every other weekend and if that's not possible then we make things up like he will have them two weekends in a row etc...we also do the odd and even...I have odd years and he has even and since its 2006 he gets the kids on every holiday this year...and when its 2007 then its my turn...this eliminates a lot of stress of who gets them and when....the kids write letters to him as he does them...if you live close enough to them then just come by for a couple of hours and take the kids out to dinner or a movie...if you live far away like my ex does then take a day off work to spend with them....my ex had a hard time with me finding someone as quick as I did and he did lean on the kids a lot...make sure you dont do that and dont ask them about your ex and her new hubby...also I know its tuff but insist on your kids calling him dad or father cuz he is an authority figure in your home and they have to show him respect...if you meet someone then they should call her mom or mother....only out of respect...my kids do it and it helps with the baby's as well cuz they wouldnt know what to do if my kids were calling their dad Perry....anyhow...I know its tuff and a lot to handle for you and your kids...always try to be positive around them and show them that it wasnt their fault and that you love them so much and that you are always there for them...Good luck and continue being a great dad :)

Answer 4

I know this is hard. I have been divorced three times and have had to deal with kids and ex's and new step parents. The best thing you can do is have as much contact with your children as possible. You just need to make sure that they always know that you love them and you are there for them. Sometimes a quick phone call before bedtime helps too. I know it isn't easy being in your situation, but just remember that you are their father and nothing can change that. I hope it gets better soon! Hang in there!

Answer 5

It is part of life and it is hard to deal with make sure your kids know you are there for them no matter what when you spend time with the kids make sure it with them their interest not what is going on with the new marriage. Time will heal the empy space that you have and then you will realize the time you have with the kids will be more valuable and you will have more fun with them. Changing schools is tough and they will do fine. you seem to be an acticve parent and that is what they need more than ever right now you be there for them and show them how much you love them it will work out with time

Answer 6

Even though your time with them is limited, you can let them know that they are on your mind and in your heart all the time. Call them each evening to ask about how their day has been.

Send occasional notes in the mail or little cute cards.

With all the changes in their lives, you can the constant in their lives. Best wishes!
from a grandma-aged person

Answer 7

BECOME VERY VERY IMPORTANT TO YOUR CHILDREN. PUT YOUR LIFE ON HOLD FOR A WHILE AND GIVE YOUR CHILDREN ALL OF YOUR TIME , IT SEEMS LIKE THERE MOM IS OUT FOR HER SELF AND NOT CONSIDERING THE KIDS SOMEONE HAS TO AND I GUESS IT'S YOU, SEE AND VISIT THEM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE SINCE THERE IS A NEW KID MAYBE YOU COULD SAY YOU TAKE THE KIDS MORE SO SHE WONT BE SO TIED DOWN WITH ALL THE KIDS THINK OF WAYS TO SEE THEM MORE WITH OUT THE PROBLEM, WHICH COULD BE THAT YOUR EX MARRIED TO SOON AND MOST LIKELY WAS CHEATING ON YOU SO JUST FOCUS ON THE KIDS AND MAKE SURE THERE HAPPY LOL AND GOOD LUCK

Answer 8

2 points

Answer 9

Just keep loving them unconditionaly Maybe try to get more time with them if you can arrange it. They need to know that you are there for the duration no matter what. Good luck to you and you babies. God Bless.

Answer 10

first don't bad mouth the ex or the new step in frount of the kids.second continue being there parent not a best friend.third tell them you miss them and you still love them. it will work out.goog luck.

Answer 11

Be there for them no matter what. Make them the priority in your life so that they know that you care and will always be there for them. Don't get caught up with money and trying to one up their mother. JUST LOVE THEM NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!