My guy is an alcoholic and keeps falling off the wagon. Any intelligent solutions?

Answer 1

As a recovered alchoholic,(YES RECOVERED !) It took me a while to figure out why I kept drinking. Twenty year history of off and on drinking. What kept me drinking was the false idea of "Once an alchohlic, always an alchoholic" Sounds depressing to believe that you'll always be in recovery once you quit drinking. When I changed my way of thinking and attitude about myself, the desire has gone and never came back. Your boyfriend is the only one that can make the decision to stop relying on the booze to "FEEL" better. Yes, he can get advice from people that have gone through similar situations and feelings. Or he can seek out the advice of a tharapist to get to the roots of his reasons for drinking. Your support can help if given in the right manner. You can check out groups in your area for your own support and other bits of advice. In the end, HE is the only one to decide to move on with his life without the use of booze. Now I realise that I may upset some folk out there with what I stated, thats ok. This is what works for me. I hope I helped in some way. Good luck.

Answer 2

If he's falling off the wagon then you may need to let him hit the ground. Talk to him and explain to him that you can't live with an addict who isn't recovering and that you can't enable him to continue to fall off the wagon without any consequences. When he falls off the wagon again, you go stay with a friend or relative and he needs to get help.

Sometimes the last enabler/caregiver has to let go in order for the alcoholic to finally totally recover. I speak from experience - I had to let my father hit rock bottom and not speak to him for several months in order for him to admit his problem and get help. My parents had just started divorcing and he lost his license (again) so I drove him to work and picked him up every day and took him to the store and the doctors. He shot up the house after getting really drunk and I had to call the police and have him arrested. It was the best thing that I ever did for him.

Answer 3

There are many intelligent answers to your question. But it is not us that has to view the answers as intelligent. Your guy has to.

I wish I could offer you some help. I don't know too many alcoholics that are sober. They have good intentions and some will go to A.A. and rehab. Most go to whatever they are told to and then start drinking again. You know they always say, "I know, I know and now I can control it. Leave me alone." He never will.

There are a lot of different kinds of alcoholics. I don't think the professionals are sure what works with some and what doesn't.
It's a long, hard road for someone like you to put up with.
I have seen mean, nasty drunks and happy drunks. Too many are
nasty. I am sure they have suggested you get help even if he won't?
You don't say if you are married, with kids or what. It wouldn't matter to me. I could not do it. I don't have the patience to tolerate it........Good Luck to you. Leave him and you will never be sorry.................

Answer 4

If he keeps falling off the wagon have him wear a helmet. AA is the best solution. It is a great place to make friends who are committed to staying on the wagon. Go with him to one. They are everywhere, and they are low key and non judgemental. The only fee is a one dollar donation each time to cover the cost of the coffee. It works. They plan a lot of family activities as well such as group picnics. Children and wives are more than welcome. He is bound to hear stories that are similar to his own. He will hear success stories from people whose lives were worse off than his because of alcohol.

Answer 5

No, I'd have to try to help my friend back onto the wagon. Alcoholism is a tough thing to conquer, and many times it's hard to stay on the wagon...but when my friend falls off the wagon, I have to try to get him/her to realize why they felt they had to go on the wagon in the first place (if it was worth starting once, it's worth starting again). Now, lets get back to that wagon & step back up!

Answer 6

if you love him and he loves you all you can do is stick by him. be supportive,,, dont put him down or dis any progress he has ever made. when hes making progress tell him how proud of him you are and when he falls off, pick him back up, hug him, kiss him and tell him how much you love him and how it hurts to see him this way. remind him of how well things were going before he fell. he may not be convinced at that moment but keep trying or let him get some air. if he loves you he will feel sorry for falling. there is no known cure. he has to work the steps. is he in aa? go with him. Get a copy of al-anon for yourself and read it everyday. it helps. be involved in everything with him...especially his recovery....no matter how many there are.

Answer 7

i have first hand knowlage here. He will ALWAYS be back and forth he has an adictive personality and that is his way of dealing with stress and life problem to hide them insted of fixing them i am not goingto tell you how to live but i had to get out of my relationship i am an enabler i help him be an addict i excepted his behaviour not coming home and all the reast of the issues that come along with it i am now making a stand and it VERY hard espeshally being 41/2 months pregnant and having a 10 month old baby but its for the best of our children to stop the cycle ( his father and mother being addicts) i dotn envie our situation but your not the only one going through it your not alone you can IM me any time you need to talk he is now serving 3 years in jail because of his life style and poor desitions its hard being critisised for being a single mother but its the only choice i wont have my children being beaten up to just cuz dads drunk

Answer 8

Make sure he goes to AA and gets a good sponsor. Maybe he can try 90 meetings in 90 days. It works if you work it. My husband has 13 years in recovery. Good Luck.

Answer 9

Unless you want to get serious about it, no. You want him around whether he drinks or not, that is your problem. You are tired of this, show him the door. When he hits rock bottom and realises that he has lost everything, then he might come to his senses. But then that will no longer be your problem.

Answer 10

Rehab and counseling. He really needs to get off the alcohol and address the problems that are causing him to use it.