My husband left his phone in the car last year. I looked at his text and picture messages and saw something very disturbing. I was sure that he was cheating. Yesterday, he left his phone in my car and I looked again. I am positive that he his cheating. One of the messages was from a woman that read "when can i see you again, want to taste you". There is no mistaking that right? Should I tell me that I know?? Should I just ask him straight out??
2006-08-10 12:08:06 · 48 answers · asked by tspoon 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave him a post-it note that says "When can I see you again? Want to taste you."
2006-08-10 12:12:08 · answer #1 · answered by I Know Nuttin 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry to read this. Tales of cheating spouses just makes my stomach turn.
At this point, the trust is gone. You will never be able to trust him until a good long while has elapsed during which time you can be sure he hasn't cheated. That may be never.
Don't waste time with this.Tell him you saw his cell logs and that you know he's cheating. If he denies it, things will not get better any time soon. Consider divorcing him if you already arn't.
He will blow smoke about you snooping in his phone. Too bad. It happened and you know what you know. Your snooping does not change his stupidity.
If you don't say something, this will eat you alive forever. Get it out in the open, even if that means a horrible argument. Do consider getting some counseling for yourself, regardless of whether or not the two of you go into couples therapy.
Good Luck.
2006-08-10 13:15:07 · answer #2 · answered by homelessharold 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about it... you better see a doctor to make sure you haven't contracted any venereal diseases. Even if you ask your husband straight out, he can always lie and then you have placed him on his guard. If you think your marriage is worth saving, I wish you plenty of luck if he is cheating... it is a very difficult obstacle to overcome, but others have done it. If you want proof that he's been cheating, you can either have him followed by a private detective (this will be expensive) or perhaps a trusted friend can do it. I suggest you NOT do it... you do NOT need to see that crap.
2006-08-10 13:31:14 · answer #3 · answered by Mike S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would really think this over on what you think might happen if you confront him.
For example, if he is cheating, what will you do? Will you leave him? Will he leave you? Do you have kids? How will it affect them? You need to plan it out...
Also if he isn't cheating, or at least doesnt' admit to it. What will you do then? Will you believe him and just drop it or will you never trust him again and forever be in doubt of him? What if he gets so mad that he ends it with you because you didn't trust him? Or what if he just ends it with you because of his own guilt?
Make sure you think of all of these things and decide what is the best action for you. Don't let anyone on here tell you different because only you will know what you want to do. Just think about things and maybe even hire a priviate investegator if you need to know the truth without him knowing...
God Bless
2006-08-10 12:10:13 · answer #4 · answered by shannon 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I have thought about how I would respond in such a situation...and I still don't know.
I guess it really depends on your feelings. If you're pissed beyond reason [I would be], take awhile to cool off and think about your choices, and everything that could stem from each of those choices. Like a game of chess...
I might try to catch him in a lie or in the act or something. And collect some solid proof while I'm at it...
2006-08-10 12:15:33 · answer #5 · answered by Haven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why say something now, if you first saw proof 1 yr ago and dint say anything than you are just plane stuped. Why dont you do this:
Keep it a secret for a couple months and save money up, then when your ready to leave take everyhting with you while hes at work, and empty all the bank accounts and max out all the credit cards.
then file for divorce and get a good lawyer and take all hes got.
but really its your own fault if your not willing to stand up for your self.
If that had been my husband he wouldnt be alive today.
2006-08-10 12:15:29 · answer #6 · answered by chicata25 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to him about it. Tell him you've seen the messages. Don't let him deny them.
Then give him a chance to explain. Afterwards, ask him what he thinks should be done. Tell him how you feel, and work it out from there. Do you want to try to fix things up? Or would you rather leave him? Don't decide when you are mad....think rationally.
And all the while, STAY CALM.
2006-08-10 12:15:17 · answer #7 · answered by Ariana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There should be NO asking... There should be some telling... He may tell you all types of lies if asked.... so if you do decide to tell him what you know or what you found then you have to stick to your guns and you hav to ask yourself some questions first like what am i willing to do about it... what if he tries to make it seem like i have lost my mind... Are you willing to lose your husband over this? is he willing to give this other woman up? you have suspected for awhile and said nothing.. why is that ? Do you love him .... do you think he loves you? Discuss with him why he is cheating on you and what going on with him on the inside.. But remember that his cheating has nothing to do with you... Dont take it personal no matter what. Dont beat yourself up about it. and also remember remain peaceful and calm dont blow up... Keep a level head..
2006-08-10 12:19:36 · answer #8 · answered by lucky1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have a question for you. How in the world did you keep from texting her back??? I don't think I could have just shut the phone, I probably also could not have kept my cool, I would go straight for the throat on that one.
Good luck!
2006-08-10 13:25:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would confront him and then, judging on how you feel and what he says, you can either work it out or seek advice from a lawyer.
I know how much this hurts, for it has happened to me. I hope that you don't blame yourself for this. He acted on his own. He broke his vows to you, no matter how much 'nookie' you gave him. Besides nookie isn't "given", it's supposed to be a beautiful thing in between a husband and wife.
I wish for the best for you. Good luck!
2006-08-10 12:15:39 · answer #10 · answered by April G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to get the hell out of your life. Been there and done it..... trust me talking is even more hurtful sometimes. Some might not agree with me, but from my personal experience. Plus a woman knows these things.
2006-08-10 12:15:14 · answer #11 · answered by shikk79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋