calling all women all ages!!!!!!!!!!please awnser??

Question

i have been been with my boyfriend for 3 yrs,,trouble is im starting to become aware of what he is really like...im at home most of the time on my own with my son..whos autistic...hes been with me years befor the diagnosis and at least 1 and half after..he has no respect for my feelings at all..as a young mother i dont expect him to be with me all the time as my son is not his,,but he treats him like he is..i just want to be treated with respect..if there is a 21st or party he will make his excuses for me not to go..and i will left home on my own ...other nites he will only come up when it suits him...am i being taken for a fool...i feel like i am wasting too much time on him which i could be using on my son...i dont want to be treated like a fool...i just want to be happy??? any feelings towards this..or any advice???

Answer 1

leap, and the net will appear

Answer 2

Leave him if he cant repect YOUR own son then how, can he respect you?

If he really loved you , he would matter alot about your son, and its not at all good that you have a partner that doesnt want to be a father to your son, your son needs a father,

I know this is not easy as it sounds, but you will be better off , leave him, and find another man, and tell him from the beginning that you have a son, and he matters the world to you, see how it goes, if he minds then dont start the relationship, if the man doesnt mind you have a son , then talk, also get your son and him to meet and shake hands so you can judge forself if the man will be good for your son too ,

also spend alot of time with your son talk to him even , go out with him,

What the real father he should see him, as he is still real father,

good luck hope things work out for you and your son

Answer 3

Please don't do what I did and wait 12 years to either have him leave or you and your son leave. With all the work you must need to do with your son you dont need him to add to your stress level. I also have found the man of my dreams and I am over 50 ... so life is too short ... My children and I were much happier once he was away from the home. I have seen a lot of new ways of dealing with autism and if you are happy then you will have a better frame of mind for both you and your son. I hope you have some help and are able to get some time for yourself, Not sure where you are from but here in Canada the Autism Foundation has all sorts of people and places and information for you. Hope this helps ...

Answer 4

I think you should either get rid of him or give him 1 chance to change his ways.You are his girlfriend and he should want you out with him,why does he want to go out alone??Do you trust him?

If he isn`t willing to change and be a better boyfriend and father and treat you both with the respect you deserve then i honestly think you are better off without him,and in time you will find some1 who is everything you want for you and your son.

Believe me i know what your going through as my bf was exactly the same and we split up 6 weeks ago,we are now back together and are both gonna try and make things work as we also have a child together who has learning difficulties but that isn`t the reason we got back,we bith do still love each other and are both trying to change for the better,but i have told my bf that if he stays out all night drinking etc again then thats us totally done and to be honest i`m not totally confident that he will be able to change but i need to give him the chance,but dont be treated like a doormat anymore as i`m certainly not!!Goodluck,xxx

Answer 5

I know that it may seem harder to move on and have to go to the trouble of searching for someone who is willing to accept you and love you and do the same for your son, but let me say that in my experience two things are absolutely certain in these situations: 1st - if you feel like he is making a fool of you...unfortunately, you are probably right. Nine times out of ten, our intuition tells us what the truth is! And 2nd - If he is already making this type of behavior a habit, and he has not even committed to marry you...then chances are, he never will, and that his treatment of you is not likely to improve.
You deserve better! Your son deserves better. And no matter how difficult the journey may seem, when you find the person who treats you both as you deserve, you will be glad you moved on!
I speak from experience.

Take Care! Many Blessings!

Answer 6

Get away from that...I spent over 10 years in the wrong relationship, verbally and physically abusive and it took its toll on me. Let me tell you something, the minute I learned to love myself I knew I was letting myself take the cr*p that the guy was scoopin out. I was not a victum I was a participant, and now I am a survivor.It will not get any better, I can not tell you what to do but I can tell you that it is not worth it, OK Life is way too short. I am now with a loving man and he has a son that I claim as my own and he respects me, we are healthy and it feels good to be respected, it can happen for you once you open up that door and stop starring at the closed door.

Answer 7

Simply asking these questions is a sign that something is wrong. If you are not happy it may be best that you leave. Realize that this is YOUR life and you deserve respect!!! You should be able to go out and your boyfriend should watch your child. Not because he has to, but because he wants to. There are men out there like that. If I were you I would probably focus on your child right now. Men don't change. If you are just starting to become aware of what he is really like than what will you become aware of in 3 more years? Don't settle for anything than the best for you and your child.

Answer 8

Sounds like you have already found the answer for yourself - you feel used. Therefore, the only question is: do you try to find someone new or do you tell him what your feeling and give him a chance to change?

Of course, it isn't that simple because there are all sorts of feelings involved: will someone else want you with a child? will your boy cope without him around? do you love him despite this?

Only you can answer these questions. Whatever you do it is always best to make the choice that feels brave... as then you are likely doing the right thing - as this is often more difficult.

Answer 9

He doesn't treat you nice, he isn't nice to your child and he finds excuses to be away from you? Doesn't sound like he deserves you. There are too many men in this world to settle for one selfish one, even if you have been with him for 3 years. Take some time for yourself and your son. You've given the boyfriend enough of your life. You should be happy and feel secure. If you don't then why bother anymore? Good luck to you.

Answer 10

I also think that he's maybe taking too much of an advantage, though he may not realize it (but he may realize it). Talk to him. If, after you've talked with him and you learn that he's happy with the way things are and things aren't going to change then it may be time move on. Talk to him first, see how things are. You shouldn't be treated as anything less than a woman with feelings and needs. If he can't treat you like that, then he's not worthy of you. Good luck!

Answer 11

Darling you need to move on it can be hard but if you think it's better for you and your son than just leave him. He doesn't have any rights what so ever to treat you like that you don't deserve to be feeling foolish because of him you are better than that you are the one who decide what is better for you and what would make you happy remember you have nothing to lose he does make sure you don't feel foolish again o.k and take care good luck :)