They were 7 & 4 when I began to date their father. We loved each other right off the bat. Now they are 14 & 11 and I have been married to their father for 5 years now and the mood has changed. Their Mother the "Blister" has manipulated our relationship allot. Now I can hardly stand either one of them. How can I get over this hurt and betrayal?
2006-08-10 11:52:28 · 15 answers · asked by November Hale 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well first of all its there ages - 14 and 11 are tough even for natural parents. The fact is that they are old enough to make up their own minds and no matter what their mother says the truth will come out. Just hang in there be a good step-mom and things will be OK. Trust me its more their age than anything.
2006-08-10 11:58:42 · answer #1 · answered by middle aged and love it 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you're feeling, but if you truly love your husband then you will find a way to have a relationship with your step-daughters. Suck in your gut, hold your head up, and put away the feelings of anger and hurt and deal with it. I'm not saying this to be harsh, I'm saying it because I so understand what you're going through. About five years ago, I had to set my own feelings of anger aside and found that by 'stepping back' (trying less to be a 'mother' and more of an adult friend they could come to if they needed someone to talk to) really did wonders for our relationship. I gave them no reason to feel they were being disloyal to their mother. We are very good friends now. And believe it or not, the next 5-7 years are going to go by so very fast and with those years you will see these girls grow into mature young adults (hopefully). You don't want to have a bad relationship with them when this time comes. Hang in there, stepmom!!
2006-08-10 12:02:53 · answer #2 · answered by mJc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Step Kids are tricky business. In their heart of hearts they may actually like you, but it would seem like a betrayal of their loyalty to their birth mother to let on. There really is nothing you can you can do about it as long as they can still be manipulated by their mother. Someday when they are older they will change the way they think about things and it will be different. In the meantime treat them kindly and concentrate on your marriage relationship. Their Dad is the one you are in love with! And as far as their mother is concerned "kill her with kindness". Don't lower yourself to her standard.
2006-08-10 12:02:52 · answer #3 · answered by SewHappy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This a hard stage for them too. Even if they were your kids it would be hard. Remember,they may fell that they have to sides. If they are with her more than you.of course they will take her side. listen to what they say. They may try to tell you whats wrong. Take it day by day,remember a day is only 24 hours long. Good Luck. You are in job that is thankless,take it from an other stepmother.
2006-08-10 12:07:29 · answer #4 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although I'm now a happily-married, 34-yr-old with two kids, I was a stepkid growing up. It sucked. Everything about it sucked. He didn't love us, or even pretend to like us. Do the right thing, and fake it until you make it - or divorce their dad and let him focus on his kids. They need it......
2006-08-10 12:02:25 · answer #5 · answered by hospitable guy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
different what you're saying is in basic terms their age - no longer something to do with you or your relationship with them. different infants will not be able to be stricken to speak approximately something so they simply say "ok" "no longer something plenty" "all stunning" and aid you already know no information in any respect. It sounds to me as in case you're attempting too annoying to lead them to such as you. Why do you provide them each and every thing they like? that isn't genuine life and it easily won't earn you or your husband any admire. At their age they could all be keeping their rooms tidy and doing one or 2 chores each and on a daily basis. And in the event that they do no longer pull their weight they are actually not getting a majority of those issues that they like yet do no longer choose. i think of you're being too permissive and that is not doing them or you any good in any respect. Make some new regulations and save on with them. At their age they could be assisting and that they could be laying the table and sitting around the eating table at dwelling house each and every night and speaking approximately something and each thing on an identical time as they consume their dinner. (No television in the process the meal.)
2016-11-04 07:50:07 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a questions, what do you mean 'the mood has change' in what way. Are you still living with him and the kids? is your relationship with the him is over?
2006-08-10 12:32:58 · answer #7 · answered by Gel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first u should sit down and have a talk with ur step kids. find out what they think would help make the relationship work. then u should have a conversation with their real mother and find why she is casuing such a problem with your kids. u can also talk to your husband and find out what his take is on the relationship with the kids.
2006-08-10 12:11:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you find out let me know, mine were 13 & 9 and it only lasted 1 month after they came into the home. Good luck.
2006-08-10 12:00:22 · answer #9 · answered by Kenya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over it if you love the father.
2006-08-10 11:57:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋