Need real advise, not just careless answers, my two small nieces were just taken away from his dad, because he was so stupid to drink and drive, (I don't know if they were with him at the time he got arrested, but it's very likely) their mother is nothing but bad news and has 4 other kids, my brother had full custody of them, 6 yrs., even though she is bad news, they turned them over to her and now has full custody, none of the kids are taken care of at all and we've seen signs of abuse, we don't know where my nieces are, we had no contact with the mother, brother gets out of jail till, end of October, and has nothing left, this woman took everything from his apartment, everything and he is lost his children, house, and car, (he got very depressed after finding out older daughter is not his, dna test) we'll always love her no matter what, any ideas, I know legally only my mom can fight, but it would be very sad to separate them, they've always been together, I'm devastated!
2006-08-10 11:38:10 · 10 answers · asked by You are loved 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I live more than 3 hrs away and I'm going to try and find them, the mother is very nasty, and I know they are in shock, they did are not used to being with this woman, because of how she is, they cry a lot when their dad is not around, I don't know what to do, if this woman told my older niece, he is not her real father, she is going to be so very hurt and there won't be anyone there to talk to her about it the right way, this woman is a mess, lives in terrible conditions. I'm praying a lot so I may be able to find them, the rest is up to God.
2006-08-10 11:42:39 · update #1
we've consulted legal advise, only my mother can fight for custody, however she could only fight for the little one, the older one apparantely is not my brother's daughter, (we feel the same way about her) she is 10 yrs old and the other one is 8, my mother is not in good health, she doesn't even know about this, my brother said, we can't tell her, because she maight get very sick, and we've discussed the situation and we couldn't separate them, it would be too traumatic, the older one would be extremely devastated, they really love their dad, taking care of them is not a problem, we have the means, I own a house and have a good financial situation, but we were told legally there is not much we can do except fight for the little one, this is difficult, as I said prayer and faith are the only things that are helping me right now. Thanks for your input, it's really appreciated!
2006-08-10 12:00:01 · update #2
This is so sad as I too have been down this road. The Father is a good Dad and made one horrible mistake of drinking. How sad. The little ones are devistated because the one who gave them security, has now been taken away. Go to Social Services, Try to get the kids back even if your sick Mother has to step in. Do all you can to save the girls. Either you or your Mother can do this. Your brother needs to find them fast. And your Mother needs to claim both girls. If the one girl is not his child and he has raised her as his own, then by law he is her Father. Some of these Mothers are not worth the powder to blow them to hell and it is hell for children who have to endure this. Social Services can find the girls, or you will have to spend all of your time,being a detective. You can do it. Think how sad and ashamed your brother is. I will pray that you find the girls and gain control again. Good Luck
2006-08-17 14:05:32 · answer #1 · answered by Norskeyenta 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to an adult you trust with your suspisions of abuse. Talk to a social worker, you can find one under Social Services in the phone book. Talk with your mom about how much responsibility you would be willing to handle if she would get involved. Would you do their laundry? Help pick up? Make a list of the things you could do and be realistic. Kids are hard work and will change all your lives in ways both good and bad. You are a good person to be worried but don't let it stop here. It sounds like they really need help. Best wishes, Laura
2006-08-10 18:48:50 · answer #2 · answered by Laura B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This may not be as hopeless as you think. Hopefully you are over 18. If so you or your mom can petition the court on emergency custody and explain your story and volunteer to take full custody of them as a relative. Most cases like this, the judge would rather put them with a relative then foster care, so you or your mom can get them . Bring any evidence you have against the parents and act quickly as time is on the court side. Good luck
2006-08-10 18:47:25 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry to hear these kids are in such a terrible situation. Lets start with things you can do. Take time to figure out the children's schedules. I'm sure that there must be times when they do stuff or go places where the mom is not around. Then make contact with the kids at these times and work with the kids to figure out a way for you to at least stay in contact with them. This can be by email, phone calls, or regular meetings. Let them know you are there for them and care about them. When your brother gets out of jail he needs to establish contact with them and at least get visitation rights and make time to see his kids and spend time with them. He then needs to find out what he needs to do to make a life that the court would look at and consider returning custody of these kids back to him. The key from this point forward is to make progress toward keeping in contact with these kids and letting them know they are still important and loved.
2006-08-11 10:17:19 · answer #4 · answered by rkrell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to a lawyer
talk to social services and make it a point to tell them that you want both. there might come a time when if the mother is as bad as you say that she is, that child neglect and child protection agencies will have to get involved and they will be looking for somewhere to put the girls.
if your brother had of been straight himself, this wouldnt happen. put the blame on who it belongs. if he hadnt messed up, he would still have them.
i would call social services and talk to them and see what they have to say. if she is such a rotten mother, it wont take long until they are involved anyway.
why not call and talk to the mother and see what she has to say about it. if she didnt want the girls, she might see a way out of having to have them. is she on drugs?
i wish you the best and i really hope that the girls can be placed together wherever they go. and i hope that nothing happens to them in the meantime.
2006-08-16 10:21:47 · answer #5 · answered by lodeemae 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
definitely childrens services is the place to go don't call literally go speak to an officer explain and tell what you know you are the aunt and if you are willing and equipped why don't you take them at least until you brother gets out see if childrens services will allow that
Good luck and i am praying for you and those two girls
2006-08-10 18:56:15 · answer #6 · answered by pudding heart 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow heavy, i have some nieces i havent seen in years and still love them and miss them dearly so i hear ya,,,well this is it can u apply for custody.do u have free legal aide were u live u need to get legal advise u need to get dss involved and get theses kids maybe someone in yr family can care for them and u can get legal visitation rights i hop it all works out for the kids how old are they???
2006-08-10 18:52:17 · answer #7 · answered by mepurplegee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your family needs to fight for them, even if the older one is not his he has legal rights. Is he on the birth certificate? Please do the girls a favor and fight for them. Their is too many children out there that need people to fight for them.
Good luck.....
2006-08-10 18:56:30 · answer #8 · answered by shikk79 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
call child social services..that's the best I can tell you..stay prayerful
2006-08-10 18:44:46 · answer #9 · answered by lil bit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get legal advice!
2006-08-17 22:54:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋