Are gay men attracted to women?...Just a little?

Question

I have known plenty of gay guys who have seemed to show some extra interest in women. Can a man really be 100% disinterested in all women?

For the record - I am not a homophobe and don't want any hateful responses.

Answer 1

I certainly have no interest whatsoever in women.

I also know gay men, including teens, who have no sexual interest whatsoever, but are loved by girls as a friend.

One that I am thinking of boldly told the psychologist that his parents forced him to in a distant land that he was gay, had known it since he was pre-pubescent. When the psychologist asked how he could know, he explained that since a year before he got pubic hair -- if he saw a pretty mostly nude boi wwwwoooop -- up it went and his heart pounded like mad, but even if it was already up if he saw a mostly naked girl --- bleh -- (when he tells this story he makes a beautiful droopy hand motion at this point) and he didn't feel anything at all. Even though poorly trained (and not really deserving of the title) the psychogist got that.

On the other hand, while he has no interest at all in sleeping with girls, he likes to cook and he's gentle and sweet and he loves to shop, plus even physically he is very, very slight and very handsome -- there is no board anywhere in the dorm he's in at college with more notes written to the room inhabitants than there are on his, and many of them are from girls (although he, like many open gay bois I've known also does very well with male friends too, he has bundles of them because there are no questions involved, he's out and its clear, and they do things like take him to football games and tell him who to cheer for and ask him questions about how to approach girls, all of which he happily answers) from the girls: -- "oh, go shopping with me," " oh can you tell me what makeup to use," "oh, I tried to call you but you weren't answering" and on and on. I read the board and I just grin.

But does he have any sexual interest? No, not even the littlest bit. If he did, he would be bi -- and it would be a different thing, then he wouldn't have so many friends of either gender.

Hope that helps.

Kind thoughts,

Reyn
[e-mail]

PS to goot -- wow. You aren't gay, but you think you know what is going on more than we do -- don't you. What's up with that?

Answer 2

My only thought on that is that there are different "levels" when it comes to sexuality. Sometimes I think that sexuality is not as cut and dry as we'd like to believe. I don't know if that's hormones or what but I think it has to do with the theory that most people are a little bit bisexual without ever realizing it or even needing to know. I don't think we are born either just gay or straight. I think there are a million levels in between but we lump people into one category or another. How else would we explain straight women who are sexually attracted to very feminine but straight men. Why would they find something feminine attractive if they are not a lesbian? There are also straight men who are attracted to very masculine women. Those people aren't gay but yet they are attracted to certain traits of the same sex. I think it's confusing because we don't understand as much about human sexuality as we think we do and when we try to figure things out, they don't make much sense sometimes. When we can't fit someone in a neat little box, we get all confused.

Answer 3

Sexuality is not black and white. everyone is attracted to members of both sexes to some varying degree whether they're willing to admit it or not. That being said, just because you find someone attractive does not mean you would sleep with them. I am gay and can honestly say I have never been sexually attracted to a women, but I still know what is hot and what is not. So to answer your question yes it is possible. And like the guy above me, why go after women when there are hotties like you? =) Don't take that the wrong way either I'm not hitting on you just giving you a compliment. Thank you for the insightful question

Answer 4

Well, sexuality is not binary, it is a spectrum much like gender. So, a person is never fully gay or straight. People can have varying degrees of attraction to other people, but they decide upon identity. For example, I identify as a lesbian but am attracted to some men. I overwhelmingly am attracted to women and can't see myself dating a man, but I also acknowledge that I have some attraction to men. Does this make me less gay... no. At the same time, I could choose to identify as straight, despite strong attraction to women. Sexuality is not cut and dry, so yes some gay men may become attracted to women.

Answer 5

I think women are attractive sure. I am not sexually attracted to them - I appreciate them they way you might appreciate a very nice looking man. I appreciate them like a beautiful painting or a work of art...I find beauty in many things. I just don't find myself into them the way I am into men.

For example - I read your question and saw your picture - the small thumbnail version and I immediately had to go to your 360 page so I could see your image bigger because you looked handsome. I would not have the same urge with a woman's picture.

I am gay I find men sexually attractive (not ALL MEN) and I find women attractive (not ALL WOMEN).

BTW I was stationed at Tinker AFB 1994-1998 - worked in Military Pay!

Answer 6

I don't think of you being a homophobe at all!! The easiest way of looking at it is sexuality is like a moving scale on which there are levels of attraction from acquaintances right up to lovers, partners or more! The point is we are all attracted to different people for different reasons. Therefore you will always be able to see attractive qualities in the opposite sex, even if you call yourself gay. Same as people who term themselves straight will see qualities in the same sex. It's what you do with those attractions, where you and how intimate you want to be with a person that's what really defines your sexuality. Of course it also is about honesty and whether you are being true to yourself as well!!!

Answer 7

Some are attracted to women, some others are not. It depends on the individual, have you been attracted to men, just a very tiny little? If you are straight you will probably say no! that's disgusting blah blah.. same for gay people.

Answer 8

The gay guys I've known don't show any interest in women other than on a friends level. So yes, a man can have absolutely no sexual interest in women...considering that society is against homosexuals there are some who wish they could be attracted to the opposite sex but just can't find a bit of that desire within them.

But, Sexuality is not black and white...someone could have strong tendencies towards those of the same sex yet still have some slight urges for those of the opposite sex. The same can be said of straight people having some slight urges for the same sex.

Answer 9

Personally I think the extra interest in women that you see from gay men is a friendship. Generally women relate to gay men well and therfore are able to build a friendship without fear of anything more. My best friend is a married woman with a kid and we have gone on vacation without her family and have slept in the same bed and there was nothing more then friendship. Its really hard to explain the bond that developes. But part of it as i have been told by my best friend is that she can turn to me for the male point of view and yet there is a certain sense of sensativity there aswell. But I guess to answer your question Yes it is really possiable to be 100 percent disinterested in woman in a sexual maner. I hope this may help you with your question. Also I thank you for being kind in your question and not showing a anti-gay attitude.
Respectfully
Rob

Answer 10

I know some gay guys who appreciate the beauty in women just like straight women but would never want to be in a relationship with them.