What can my husband, a paranoid, insecure ect, do to learn how NOT to filter business handlings through this?

Question

He is a paranoind, insecure, defensive, cynical, sarcastic, vengefull, egotistical, power control freak. He just got his contractors license and is allready not relating well to customers. He takes their critisisms and change of hearts (oh no, this doesnt look like I thought it would) and percieves it as (man, you really suck at this and you better do something about it for free). In doing so he feels attacked and reacts accordingly with all the afforementioned traits at work especially coming off obnoxious and rude and ultimately threatening and yet he honestly feels it is THEM that is the problem. I see trainwreck after trainwreck if he doesnt either learn how to handle "the customer" or recognize his major character flaws (which have often been cause for him to become physically abusive with me as I merely attempt to explain these types of situations thinking I am now attacking him and accusing him of being inept. It didnt matter when it was just me but now it concerns our life

Answer 1

Yikes! I understand your concern. When it comes to contractors you have to have major communication skills from the start. Specifically, sometimes people can be a bit vague about what they want and you have to go over it and over it and over it AGAIN or you'll end up with an "oh, this doesn't look like I thought it would" situation very frequently. Hairdressers feel the same way! *L*

Unfortunately it's really not the sort of job where a front-man with good people skills could have most of the contact with the customers. What a dilemma! And if you can't talk to him about it the situation seems insurmountable.

For the record, it DOES matter even if it was "just you"! Just my opinion, but it sounds like he needs an anger management class and some individual therapy and then couples therapy for both of you... IN THAT ORDER!

Good luck!

Answer 2

he can get some help, but thats not easy because in order for a person to get some help, they must first acknowledge that there is a problem, and by the sound of things, that is not happening in the least bit right now. So i would have to say that you are the one who is in the drivers seat right now , because you are the only one in the relationship who sees the need for help.
From my own experience I would have to advise you not to close the door on any type of help, whether it be counsellors or doctors or even a church in your area....
Its like going shopping and you're not even aware of the deals untill you get to the store and start looking..

Answer 3

My ex is the same way. He will never change until he can admit he has a problem and take responsibility for it. If he is abusive with you--it DOES matter---you should get away from him. If you really love him and want to stay with him, I would talk to someone he really respects and trusts (maybe his dad or best friend). Let that person tell him the truth about his personality and how it will damage his career. Maybe he will listen. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Meds and counseling. Sounds like major depression going there, among other things. Hope this helps.