should i get a divorce?

Question

should i get a divorce or not? my husband cheated on me and lied about it he said he only did once but today he said he did 3 times!

Answer 1

I think it times to move on. But real Question is what does your heart say All of us could tell you yes and no but if your heart say is so then do it. I know It is Hard to move on when you catch someone cheating on you. My ex Girlfriend said she would stop but when I caught her a month before our wedding i broke up with her My heart finally told me to do it

Answer 2

Here are some thing I saw about how to determine whether to try to save a relationship after cheating, hope it helps!

To help you figure it out here are 7 questions to ask yourself that will help determine whether or not getting over it is something you should do.

Is it an isolated incident or a pattern of behavior? (including past relationships, even if its the first time he cheated on you has he cheated on other gf's)

Does he own it (take full blame) or does he make excuses for why it happened?

Does he REALLY grasp the damage he's done to you and your relationship or does he just pay it lip service?

Is he sorry for the choice he made or sorry that he got caught?

Is he willing to do what it takes to clean up the mess he made, whatever it takes and however long it takes? or does he want to deny it and move on?

Is it out of character for him or is he insenstive about other things too? (respects your feelings, treats you with dignity, etc)

Is it a legacy or a new behavior? did he grow up in a family where this happened? if its what he learned thats a big clue.

Once you've gone through these and IF you determine that the answers all favor a successful relationship then you take it one day a at a time, if its a history or a pattern you leave and realize that it is the idea of the relationship that you 'love' and not the reality, surely you don't define being loved as someone that devestates you emotionally and doesn't care that he did. Doesn't sound like the results will be favorable for him....you have a lot of thinking to do, but don't worry it WILL get better and you will be ok!

Answer 3

This seems to be, for what you stated, a behavioral pattern. He lied and he cheated, and he also made you feel everything you are feeling right now. I am sorry you have found yourself in this situation, but now that you are here, you need to be able to get out of it. This does not only mean divorce, there are other options. The option you take will depend on the questions you ask yourself. Look for professional help, a counselor, a lawyer, a psychologist or a relationship coach. The would be able to help you all in different ways. Ask yourself how you can use this in a positive way to help others or to help yourself.
Good luck ;)

Answer 4

use divorce only as a last resort. there are ways of fixing a marriage if you want to fix it. there's counseling, or other forms of communication. you could separate. it is a horrible thing that he did but there are some RARE cases where the cheater may be troubled by something. I'm not trying to give him an excuse but you just need to look at the situation from all angles and decide whether or not you still love him. Remember, till death do us part.

Answer 5

yeah, I think you should end right there. You could find a real man that don't need to lie and tell you in person than lies to you said only once and found out it 3 times ....

My wife said once I cheat will end it. I believe it before I got married and I never cheat on my wife. ever, so it means that you should end it and move on.

Answer 6

do u trust him? =T.. i doubt it. he has obliterated ur trust pretty much. i mean, if he is literally Begging you to work on the marriage, and that he will change, and u love him, giving him a chance is your decision. but u have to have Boundaries for what u want in a marriage, and in a husband, as well as urself. if any of those things get tested, and u can work on it Together and Grow together to become stronger, then do it. but if he's not willing to, or just doesn't know how, it's not that he doesn't love you, but he's just not good enough for you. and if he gets angry, it just reinforces it. because he didn't respect you before, and he's not respecting you now. actions speak louder than words, but if the words aren't there, u have Nothing. give him a chance, *if you love him*, but don't let urself feel run over, bulldozed, negative, depressed, neglected, and abused, emotionally or physically. ur husband is supposed to be the only one in the world who will not deliberately hurt you, who will protect you, make u safe, secure and happy. if this man cannot do that, he is not a good husband.

Answer 7

If you are not willing to except the fact that he will continue to cheat on you, then YES get a divorce. He will not change, and if you stay in the marriage, you are choosing to look the other way. RUN!

Answer 8

Because he cheated on you I would say that is grounds for a divorce. I would first pray to The Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and God The Father first before making that decision. Best of luck to you.

Answer 9

it's up to you to get a divorce...if you really can't trust the man you're with anymore then maybe...but i would try counseling first and see if that doesn't help you two...there is always a reason for cheating...you just have to find out what his is...and tell him if you guys are going to stay together, you're going to counseling and you're not telling each other anymore lies..you're married...there shouldn't have been any lies in the first place...

Answer 10

I don't know. You have to ask yourself if a cheating husband is something you can live with. If he is really sorry and willing to earn your trust again no matter takes. Is this something you can ever forgive even if he never did it again. Only you know the answer. For me it would be Good Bye.