My supposedly best friend of 25 yrs + has let me down at my wedding which is this Saturday. Her reason is that she has a new boyfriend and does not want to be away from him - she is 40!!! No compromise could be reached.... We have spoken but I feel very angry and do not feel like seeing her ever again. What should I do?! Ditch the friendship? Forget about her? Or swallow my anger and carry on as friends?
2006-08-10 10:37:54 · 16 answers · asked by Stephanie C 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I did ask her to bring him but she said he did not want to leave his daughter (who does not live with him!)!!! Not even for a weekend. I feel that whatever I suggested she found obstacles with!
2006-08-10 10:45:50 · update #1
I would just let it go....I garentee after the whole thing is over she will realize what she missed and feel bad enough....I know how much you would like them to be there but it is not worth losing a 25 friendship over. Like I said....she will feel bad enough once the whole thing is over.
2006-08-10 10:44:48 · answer #1 · answered by yetti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that's appalling behaviour, personally. I can understand why you're so angry and I don't know whether I could forgive her either if it was me.
But I do think you need to go more into her reasons for this before you make a decision about your friendship. Is it possible that there's more to it than just the man? Does she feel like she's losing you because you're getting married? Is there no way that you could offer to have the boyfriend at the wedding too?
At the end of the day only you can decide whether to forgive her or not, but go ahead and enjoy your wedding and don't make a decision in haste.
I hope you have a wonderful day on Saturday and a great married life.
2006-08-10 10:50:13 · answer #2 · answered by pomme_blanche_2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that you are jumping into a conclusion with out all the facts. All you know; according to your post, is that your friend does not want to attend your wedding. Maybe she just feels depressed that her best friend is getting married and will no longer be there for her in the same way as she has been the past 25 years; or, maybe she herself is feeling a little resentful and bitter because it is you who are getting married and settling down and her life is still in turmoil. Whatever the reason, you cant just go out and throw away a friendship that has lasted for 25 years over a stupid little fight
2006-08-10 10:54:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand how you feel, a similar thing happened for my wedding. In my case I said "Ok", and I haven't seen or heard from her again. Your friend sounds like her mind is made up too, so I suggest that you don't let her upset you at this wonderful time in YOUR life and especially on your wedding day. One day maybe she will realize how stupid and selfish she behaved. But now you need to realize that the most important person in your life will be waiting at the altar for you. Best wishes!
2006-08-10 11:01:23 · answer #4 · answered by Yve 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i hope you get your answer by her not showing up at your wedding..... if she had thought the same way as you she would've been at your wedding.... but i guess it's time to let her go... i know it's very important for her to be there for you.... but what be so mad and angry at her when she wants to leave.... either you can choose to forgive her and move on and enjoy your day or you can stay mad for the rest of your life which will not solve any of your problems..... it's time for her go so just let her go... dont hold on to her..... she was your freind for 25 years and both of you treasured this relationship... but dont think about the past too much you have a great future ahead of you with your husband and try to make the best out of it by taking one day at a time..... hope this helps
2006-08-10 10:50:58 · answer #5 · answered by VR 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about how it is important to you for her to be there at your wedding day. Ask her to bring him as a date, so at least she won't be away from him and it's a win-win situation. I wish you the best of luck with your new husband and hope this advice helps. Good luck!
2006-08-10 10:44:40 · answer #6 · answered by gwen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
friends=too be there when your angery or not.
best friends=being there even though you are tired of them but swallow the anger and think about your best friend frist
your friend did a mean thing all right.
but shell do somthing what you really need some day.
2006-08-10 10:41:23 · answer #7 · answered by Grack 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calm down and try to work out why. There has to be another reason for this behaviour, or, why can't you fit him in at the end of a table?
If his child doesn't live with him, he won't see her much, expand the table for her too??
2006-08-10 10:45:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember what it was like when you met your prespective husband. she feels that way now. I'm sure she doesnt mean to hurt your feelings. Let her realise the mistake she has made and wait for her to call you. Just be happy on your big day.
2006-08-10 11:25:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is your best friend then surely you would allow for her to take her partner....Perhaps she is feeling very hurt that she has to come to celebrate you finding your life partner when is has to stand beside you single when she has a partner sitting at home..You should let her bring him then everyone happy!!
2006-08-10 10:44:15 · answer #10 · answered by TINA S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋