sex with my husband after we seperate (7 yrs of marriage; mutal agrrement of seperation; 1 child; still love each other)....
2006-08-10 10:27:28 · 7 answers · asked by Mrs. G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
About 4 yrs ago I cheated on him while were seperated. I didn't sleep w/ him (believe it or not) and now he's still not over it and doesn't trust me. He thinks maybe we just need time apart. So he can learn to "miss me again and need me".
2006-08-10 10:46:34 · update #1
It's pretty normal for you two to have sex, even if you're separated. Actually, it's a good sign, cause usually once the sex stops, the relationship is pretty far in the toilet by then. BUT......here's the thing you SHOULD be thinking about.......
where do you want this relationship to go? What is the point of you separating? He thinks it will make him "miss you?" I seriously doubt that that is the underlying problem here. The first problem you already mentioned: he doesnt' trust you. A separation will not fix that. The second problem is whatever made you separate the FIRST time that obviously hasn't gone away. Only YOU know what that problem is/was.
My point is, what are you both doing to get back on track? Having casual sex and sending each other mixed messages? Not helpful. Having an ambiguous separation? Not helping. Be proactive and do something to fix your relationship, or get the heck out of it. Get therapy and try to get back to a good place. It sounds like you're both wishy-washy and just waiting around for the light to dawn on you.......no fairy is going to come down and say, "Here, here is some magic dust that will make everything better."
To me, being separated, and having sex, and still loving each other and not trusting, blah, blah........it sounds like a whole lot of indecision that is only causing confusion and mixed signals. You're both doing whatever feels good at the moment instead of getting to the root of the relationship. Trust me......without a concrete decision (therapy or divorce) you will go on like this for years, and it's a waste. I did it for 3 years, and it was a waste of time......because I feared making a choice.
Good luck to you........and do something before it's too late.
2006-08-10 12:51:51 · answer #1 · answered by paintgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on your Moral background I mena if you are simply seperated than you are still legaly married and "biblically" married so Sex would be fine. I have heard of a number of people in this situation- can't live with each other but the sex was always good. If you are officialy divorced than you might consider alternitives. Again this is all based on your moral framework. If the sex was jsut that goood or if you are both jsut that needy to have a friend with ebenfits go for it. Eventually you will both move on and hopfully you will be able to do it without any baggage.
2006-08-10 10:36:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both want it and neither one of you is with someone else then who's it hurting? Why don't you get back together if you still love each other?
2006-08-10 10:36:18 · answer #3 · answered by babegirll23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in all honesty i sepperated from my ex (father of kids) and when i feel like sex i call him so i dont find nuthin new and its liek okay w us after u know liek nuthin he will be considered my friend but sepparation is better for us
2006-08-10 10:35:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure why not? As long as you can keep it in persepective, if its working for you its fine! I've done it!
2006-08-10 10:31:58 · answer #5 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH BECAUSE IN THE EYE SIGHT OF GOD IT WOULDN'T BE FORNICATING OR ADULTERY.
2006-08-10 10:37:03 · answer #6 · answered by Prayerwarrior 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you still love each other....why in the hell are you apart????
2006-08-10 10:35:34 · answer #7 · answered by motorcyclelovinmama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋