are these two considered equal offenses?

Question

the couple have an open marriage. they discuss him wearing a condom when he is with other womyn to which he AGREES.
he: not once. not twice but three times he did not.

she: did not include him in something HE thought she ABSOLUTELY without a doubt, no way on God earth she could not have known, she should have included him. she did not think she it was mandated or that EVERY knew except her. and as it turns out it does seem to be 'debatable' in that there seems to be no CLEAR right or wrong answer.

he insists his transgression is no more serious than hers.
she insists that his is more so.

tell us what do you think. and possibly why.
i feel the key rests on ONE key element ....

as an aside.
this issue here is not about the lifestyle they both agreed to. the issue is about the boundaries they set within the lifestyle they have chosen. btw: it is NOT cheating or disloyal when BOTH parties know. stealing is taking something w/o the owners knowledge.

the key element is think is TRUST. it is my belief he breached the cornerstone in ANY relationship. even in the smallest of ways we put our trust in strangers every day. we trust the driver to obey traffic lights. we trust that when we turn our faucets on that water will come out. the trust we take for granted. we've come to expect it.

it is my contention the main difference is there was NO doubt of what the COUPLE expected of him.
her 'error' could ONLY happen once, had NOT been previously discussed & may not have been wrong. most agreed w/the choice she made.

Answer 1

I would have to agree with her. He put himself, his wife, and any other sexual partners of either of them at risk. While we do not know what her activity was, it can probubaly be repeated whereas should something have happened with the unprotected sex then that's sort of an unfixable mistake. The fact that the marriage is open means that she would not be "obligated" to include him; however if she knew it was something he would have liked to have joined in on then she should have allowed him the chance. But yeah his is much worse. Hope this helps

Just my 2 cents worth

Answer 2

I think its all a bunch of bs, go out and screw around but follow the rules?? I think you are both idiots if you thought that was going to happen, now considering that his trangression could result in death, incurable disease and/or pregnancy its definitely much bigger offense. He is actually risking her life and not consulting her about whether she wants to play russian roulette or not, there is no excuse for that. He obviously isn't going to follow the rules so she needs to smarten up and not play the game anymore. What she did isn't clear but didn't risk his life. So although you are both dead wrong, he is clearly more wrong? If there is any such thing, she however is an idiot if she continues to have sex with him. What exactly is the point to these people being together anyway?? Its like they said ok, we won't be loyal to each other, we will lie and cheat to each other BUT we will stay together so we can still hurt each other too! Woo Hoo sounds like a great deal and a good plan to me!! Lots of thought went in to this one!

Answer 3

His is much worse. Not only is he at risk for impregnanting someone who isn't his wife, he is putting his wife's, and his own, health in jeopardy. Having unprotected sex is absolutely unnecessary, and disrespectful to your sexual partner, and in this case, his wife. He is a disgrace.

EDIT-Ignore Dappersmom. I've seen her post before. She is an ignorant, judgemental, self righteous biatch!

Answer 4

They're putting each other at risk for STD/Aids and yet wants to debate about something else. Whatever floats your boats.

Answer 5

what the f*ck are you talking about?