Im finding it hard to get a Boyfriend. Any tips?

Question

Im 17 and all the boys i like are stright i dont know who is gay and who isn't. also i fear im gonna mess up and say stupid things when i meet someone

Answer 1

Aw hun you probably will hear this a lot, but - you're only 17 - if you are 30 and still having this problem then it may be somethign to worry about, but for now just relax.

It's the same for everyone, finding a partner can be hard and it feels like you are never going to find anyone but once you relax you will find one will just appear like magic - and that's what makes relationships magical, because you do not expect them, out of the blue someone great comes along that fits you like a glove (I'll avoid any homosexual jokes here).

When you're young I could imagine it being harder, as I am sure not as many people know they are gay at that point, or at least aren't open about it, so I will say it will probably get easier as you get older.

Perhaps if the problem is that no one is gay then you should look to socialise with more gay people, granted you are under 18 but that doesn't stop most people going to clubs, perhaps try finding someone to go to a gay club with, go online to gay forums to find friends - as always be very careful!

Answer 2

First of all, welcome to the club. I'm 25 and I've only had one boyfriend when I was 22 and it lasted a week. Haven't had one date since, so a good man is hard to find these days. Just try your hardest and get yourself out there. Find local gay hotspots like coffeehouses or bars or clubs. I think you can still get in at 17 at some clubs except they stamp your hand...I think.

If there is one question constanly asked on this question category is how to tell straight guys from gay ones. I haven't yet found out, and I'm not sure there will ever be a way. The only way to truly know is if they say so either verbally, online, or at a local gay center. What would you say when you meet someone? Just talk like you normally do to try to strike up a conversation. Use body language and be yourself.

Answer 3

yes and no,...

It depends, are you openly gay or closeted,... are you straight acting but with a gay inner persona,....

Well there are all kinds that make up the gay community.

You don't have to be a prissy effeminate campy queen to be gay,... just so you know.

Anyway since you're underage, I would recommend contacting a gay community outreach center in your neck of the woods. They may be able to hook you up with a support group or a bar that caters to underage patrons (sorry they only serve non-alcoholic beverages). Seattle has a few of those I think.

Otherwise, in the mean time, I do recommend that you visit:

planetout.com

Unlike gay.com (which has more than its fair share of deviants perverts and vicious exploiters) which has regional chatrooms.

Planetout.com also has regional chatrooms, you might network or even find a connection with one of those "straight" boys who may also be in the closet - at the moment.
I recommend planetout because it is one of the few sites that is monitored with mediators, and the majority of its patrons are people like yourself. Also the resouce pages are extensive, I'm sure you will find what you need to sort out the tough questions.

I just hope you don't run a foul of someone bad to take advantage of your innocence.

Be careful, and good luck,...
Take care
Mahalo!!!

Answer 4

Firstly, you have to come to terms with the fact that at least 85-95% of guys are heterosexual (straight). Secondly, you need to understand that out of the 5-15% of gays who are homosexual/bisexual, that not all of them are looking for a relationship, and even those who are - not all will be suitable matches for you. This really paints a depressing picture of things.

What you need to do is be in a place where you are most likely to find a boyfriend. You need to contact a LGBT young persons group, and see if they have social activities for gay/bi guys of your age group. A good group will segregate the age groups to prevent a young guy getting preyed upon by an old guy.

Once you find a receptive group, your aim is to make gay/bi friends who understand where you're coming from. Your aim at this point is NOT to find a boyfriend, but to simply make friends. If you say outright you're looking for a boyfriend, it will scare people off. Once you learn to become relaxed in the company of friends, you may overcome your fear of "stuffing things up" and may even meet Mr Right. Mr Right might not be at your group, but your group may go somewhere where you'll meet him.

Answer 5

Your not gonna find a boyfriend on here, there has to be some groups near to were you live, the library or any government office will have leaflets of groups or clubs to go to or just look in your local phone directory as they list the individual gay/lesbian clubs in the yellow pages and Thomson local directory, don't worry too much you won't mess up at all, good luck.

Answer 6

I so understand your situation. I live in a small town with virtually no known gay population and I get crushes on straight guys (luckily they only last like a week).

Ever since I realised I'm gay (12 or 13 years old) I just wanted to escape this town and move to a cool city where I can find others more easily, and that's exactly what I'm doing in 36 days' time. You should do it too!

I'll be your boyfriend lol.

Answer 7

First of all, if you don't know who's gay, then you *don't* know that *all* the boys you like are str8. Right? Right!

Of course you're gonna mess up. Count on it! But don't let that stop ya, everyone's got that problem - life isn't long enough to be perfect!.

Be a good friend, be that charming you, and just keep hangin in there. And, when you least expect it, surprise, surprise!

Oh to be 17 again. ENJOY!!!

Answer 8

There are plenty of people who will want to meet you.There are even people on here.You just have to be wary of those with false intentions.It is risky to try to talk to guys your age because there are some that do not have a clear understanding of gay matters.I take it you are not out yet?If not,then you probably have good reason,and that is okay.You should not stress on FINDING a boyfriend.Most of the time it just happens.You will meet someone who is single,and it will just click.If you go looking,you may end up settling for less than what you deserve just to have someone that looks good to you.And alot of bad relationships are started this way.Just chill Bro,it will happen.I know what you feel in being alone and needing someone to spend time with and all of that.I have been alone by choice for over a year as I got out of a bad relationship.I want to be with someone,but I have my standards,and I will not lower them just for the sake of intimacy.I have had plenty of chances to be with someone online,but it just will not work without them being within distance to meet and be together.You will be fine.Having friends at a time like this is golden too.Someone you can talk to and share your feelings with to get it out of your system.If you continue to dwell on LOOKING,you may very well end up saying something to the wrong person.Then you get treated like a pervert.Sad but true.Just sit back and focus on refining who and what you are.Use this time alone to improve yourself.After all,it is YOU that is most important at this time.Try something new with your hair,get some new clothes,and look at your image.The more comfort you find with yourself,the more guys will come out of the woodwork to take a shot at you.Improve the product my friend,the market is out there.Even small improvements can make the difference in whether or not some fella takes the risk of approaching you.A fine cologne,some killer tennis shoes,or a stylish new haircut...I'm sure you are a charmer as you are.But do something for yourself to make YOU feel good.And that will project a more positive image.I wish you good luck.Just dont try so hard.Okay?SMILES! If you need more help Bro,feel free to contact me.

Answer 9

Depends on where you live, but the London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard on 020 7837 7324 can probably put you in touch with a local Lesbian and Gay group. Most of these run contact groups just for people like yourself. I did this and through the Manchester LGF and met my boyfriend who is now my Civil Partner.

Answer 10

You are so young, so relax. Just start talking to people. You will know if you feelings look as though they are being reciprocated. You could begin by telling your friend about being gay. If he reacts badly, well, he is not really a friend. If he is a great guy he should react in one of two ways, either let you know he isn't or that he is. If you are worried why not ask him if he has any girlfriends or had any, thats one way of knowing his leaning?