i have been married for 2yrs to a guy whom is 11yrs older,while i am in my 20s i dont deny for being sensitive...for these past few mths i noticed that he prefer a girl wif big boobs,pretty face and good figure gal(which i do not have). but why go for me at the first place?? he start to collect alot of porn clip on his phone,local hostess having sex...it upsets me a little,he told me he likes to watch them doing it... yesterday we had a big fight and he didn't come home while i waited for hours. i dont noe if there is still any point of staying when our sex life is so much affected...what should i do???
2006-08-10 10:05:44 · 42 answers · asked by nisha depressed 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You deserve to be respected. I'm not sure what you should do in terms of the marriage (ie counseling, split, disscusions, etc) but I do know that you deserved to be loved and respected. Don't ever forget that.
2006-08-10 10:12:32 · answer #1 · answered by Andrea O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl! first of all u r too young for him. Dont think u r not pretty at all. u r pretty that is the reason he got married to u. But men can change anytime. Frankly telling u i dont even like my husband to see other girls when i am with him. Forget abt porn. Atleast when we both r together i dont see anything like that. However, my husband also dont never have sex with me. i dont care.But he should have told u where he was while he did not come home the previous day, this is not the way to be in marraige, u said he watches porn all those rubbish things?? right away leave him because u r so young and u need a kid of ur own, u need a sweet wonderful family of ur own. Dont take a chance or dont wait for long. This is the right time to leave. No second thought.But before leaving him make sure where r u going and what r u going to do. Good luck honey.
2006-08-11 09:08:46 · answer #2 · answered by kiran123 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to say this and say this once. When you talk about a break in marriage....oh now, no way...it's not good. He should be all over you and enjoying you fully and if he gets to the point that sex is less...you're in trouble.. Myself personally, I cherish a woman in that sense and give her everything she needs and wants that I can afford to my means, but most of all, I honor i\her and love her with my all and when a Man can do that to a woman there is no problem. When a Man refrains from sex on woman because..he's tired or doesn't feel good, or just simply has turned into a lard butt, your gonna have problems . No woman on earth wants to feel that she is rejected because, she is fat or small boob ro not good in bed...that's bull sh*T. If your Man married you for love then He darn well better Show it because there's someone else out there that will find you to be the Princess of his dreams and treat you like one too forever until death...now that's the kind of Man you want. I dated a lady that had dentures and she didn;t want to kiss because her ex husband made her feel like crap. I broke her of that and helped her understand that he had problems and there's nothing wrong with her. She can kiss guys now and not feel bad about it. I don;t put no woman down for anything because a Man should take a good look at himself before he goes bashing someone about them.
Good Luck
2006-08-18 04:14:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is what do you want to do... no matter what we tell you,... your still going to do what it is that you should do... think about it... do you want to make it work or not... in this day and age its realy what you want to do.... we only live once.... now im not telling you to quit and give up... because im in the same shoe as you... the only thing is its easy for me to tell you what i can't tell myself...or should i say that i don;t want to except.... what your looking for is someone who is into you... who only needs you...which is the way that it should be in the first place... why are you with me if im not what your looking for ... that's what i would ask too... seeing that he's 11 years older than you could have a little to do with it too...(may be he has a problem) that why you found him hanging around.... don't think something is wrong with you... he could be the problem... please don't blam yourself for his misunderstanding of true love... he doesn't know a good thing when its smack under his nose..... if he loses you then he's lost a dammmmm good person..... remember only you can make yourself happy....
take care of you
Mscaramelow
2006-08-17 16:43:57 · answer #4 · answered by lapeachroses 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know from experience that NOW is the time to hire a Private Eye. The court system is not for the good of folks simply who can pay for the best lawyer! You need to stay put and get as much dirt as you can on him then hang him! Start putting money back and, now, and start to figure out what you are going to do, not after you leave and feel all pitiful and victimized. Listen to your inner voice you will know if he is in the wrong and doing you wrong. Don't argue with your inner voice, it i s always right. BE SMART NOW!
2006-08-17 05:05:36 · answer #5 · answered by cindy s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is at a age of probably in the early 30s where he is sort of pre-mid life crisis. he is not doing as well as he hopes in career, there is no dreams that he could focus on and therefore his frustration turns on kiddy stuff....in this case sex. don't worry, he will outgrow it provided you have not divorce him by then.
encourage him by being nicer to him, talk to him and says that it is ok to keep his fantasy but let him know that you loved him and that you would not be comfortable if he carries out his fantasy.
remember at this stage, even if he did go for one or 2 prostitute, pretend not to know, it would hurt you even more. look for things to spice up both your sex life. if he enjoys watching blue before activities, then do it with him, there is no harm after all it is but a movie and that you are doing it together anyway.
at this age, it is the time where football, friends and beer and excitement comes in priority over you. It is normal in most man, they have gone back to childhood with adult games. Keep a level head is what you must and be broad in your mind set. You should now very well on how he is performing and that even after he tried it outside a few times, he would realised how good you are as he will still remember your scent and wants to come back to you as this is why you got married anyway.
where possible encourage him to take up games like golf, bowling or even join dancing class together. have simple dates at least once a week to make sure that he will always will be able to change his focus\
2006-08-10 20:49:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be depressed. Simply tell him that you are a person with feelings and he is the one whom should feel privilege to have a younger woman. Nisha there comes a time in everyone's life when they suffer from low self -image. But when you study the Bible, give your life to Christ and acknowledge that He likes you, He loves you, and so should everyone else. Don't be concerned with his actions once you tell him how you feel, let God do His work. Your destiny is not tied to anyone who would walk away from you so, if you're a Christian....know that the approval and love of God is what you need!! Everything else is just extra...You're married and I believe that marriages, Christian marriages can be restored but if you're not a Christian and you don't want to face adultery alone, because you will be alone w/o God....leave him.......But if you are a Christian that stands on the promises of God stand for your healing, and then for the healing of your mate and for your marriage.
2006-08-10 10:19:44 · answer #7 · answered by sistaplay2much 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is all ready gone from your marriage, what are you saving? He's getting it from a local hostess as you call it, prostitute that everyone else calls it, he may bring you home a disease you don't want . I think your health and life is more important than trying to save it. He doesn't want you, get some pride and move on, you are still young and can surely be married again maybe you'l actually find someone that derserves and loves you.
2006-08-18 04:13:09 · answer #8 · answered by moglie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend leave I mean now, he his abusing you emontionally and you as a women don't deseve this why would you want to stay with someone that treats you terrible and has no respect for you in the first place. You can do better for yourself then that, don't stay in marriage because it comfortable, stay because you both love each other and not coming home is the start of a long line of nights to come trust me I know.
2006-08-18 05:04:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm... him bneing older than you, he should be more mature than " running " away from home.
calm down and talk to him thats the best solution. everyone does have some fantasy as some are not so opened and are secrets fromeven the spouse. you may have too?
its ok for him to have some and rest easy as he dont keep it from you and being open? its better to monitor him this way? for he has not gone in for real?
revive the romance bet you two, he like watching others in action? do it with a mirror, the next time you 2 . . . . add some jest to your sex life. . . bet he has lots of ideas and fantasy. . .
body and figure is another thing, it dont really matter
talk to him and over it . . .
2006-08-10 13:04:20 · answer #10 · answered by dream_drifter05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women like you make me mad. You want to know what to do? Here - if this doesn't work, then leave him. Dress up nice, get your nails, hair, makeup done. Dress like a total tramp. When he comes home, simply take him on the spot and make him feel good then let him do whatever he wants. Moan, scream, dig your nails in him and make him happy. Then repeat this step every other day for a little while and I bet you he won't even think of porn...But hte point is - YOU need to take the bull by the horn and run with it.
2006-08-10 10:11:34 · answer #11 · answered by rab2344 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋