My brothers won't have anything to do with me and my new husband. My ex-husband was abusive to me and the three children,and we had a restraining order for a year. I did meet my new husband during the time I was "Married"; he(my ex) lived down the basement and we didn't have sex for about seven years. My family goes out socially with my ex; they have even vacationed with my children during the time he had summer visitation. MY brothers will not even meet my husband. I think it is very odd that when my brother comes into town he calls my ex first so my kids, ex, mom, and he can get together. Frequently, I don't even know he is in town until my kids tell me Uncle Jim was at Dad's with grandma. During an electrical outage,my mother went to live with my ex. My kids (and I) wonder why my family never does anything with me. I've tried asking them if the divorce upset them, but they just bullshit me and say"We are just so busy". How do I handle this? I will not go back to who I was.
2006-08-10 10:05:08 · 15 answers · asked by Skye7112 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do they know that he was abusive to you
2006-08-10 10:08:20 · answer #1 · answered by taterbaby94 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your family is strange, they should be supporting you. You are a wonderful woman for getting yourself out of that position and finding yourself a better guy. I would have to say just live your life, dont let what they do get you down. You only live once, so make the best out of it with your new husband and kids. Hopefully your family will turn around and see that they are hurting you, you may also wanna say :so you are "too busy" to answer my question but you have the time to vacation with my ex-husband" Good Luck
2006-08-10 10:11:26 · answer #2 · answered by i_lovethis_bar03 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH, I hate that....
My husband has a 25 year old daughter from a previous relationship and my mother-in-law still invites her mother over for supper on occassion (they've been split for 23 years). As long as they have a relationship with her, they will never have a close one with me... I don't want to have to concern myself with what personal information is being shared, intentionally or not. This woman is known to have emotionally and physically abused their grandchild and they still have her over for supper... must be the "good Christian thing to do" or something.... Un-freaking believable.
I've been divorced twice (now happily married 12 yrs) and if my family kept in touch with my ex I'd be some pissed off. It's just plain wrong in my opinion.
Is your brother abusive to his wife? Women beaters tend to stick together, something like pedophiles.
2006-08-10 10:17:49 · answer #3 · answered by mama_bears_den 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say he was abusive to you and the kids but how come he still has visitation ? The way it looks here is that you were the one that cheated so your family is looking at you as the home wrecker. If they dont want to be in your life there is nothing you can do. Make the best of it with your kids and new husband.
2006-08-10 10:09:58 · answer #4 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your guns. Do what is best for you and your kids. I would just back off on your family. I know it will be hard to do, but just let them be for now. In time they will come to see what he is really about. Also they will miss you to. You sound happy, don't get involved in all the craziness with your ex. Concentrate on your new husband and your kids. Good luck. In time things will work out. Be patient.
2006-08-10 10:12:18 · answer #5 · answered by Teslajuliet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a guy and in the same situation. I was married and I divorced my ex- wife for some chocies she made. My sisters since sit around and gossip about me to her. So when we have conflict she throws what every they have told her in my face. We have a daughter, but its cool. I think that you just have to stay strong and you new husband and you have to stay in love. He is your new family. Believe me it hurts but I havent been to a holiday dinner at my older sisters house in several years. Stay strong, and keep your head up . Ill be praying for you
2006-08-10 10:15:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Skye,
Sounds like you had to resolve a bad situation for you without caving in. You moved on. Without writing a book, I'd say, keep moving on. If your family doesn't like the new man, you can't make them. So you wouldn't do what they wanted. Life's too short to please everyone. Keeping being a good Mom, daughter, wife and enjoy life.
2006-08-10 10:23:39 · answer #7 · answered by Luis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family is absolutely nuts, dump them move on with you new husband. I would not let my children not even go over by your parents. That is not a family.
2006-08-10 10:12:56 · answer #8 · answered by Right Wing Extremist 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so to get this str8, ur ex abused u but ur brothers like him?? how screwed up is that? u sure ur not hiding something here. they sound pretty bitter. my sisters would never contact my ex without my knowledge or at least understanding. blood is thicker than water, there's a reason everyones so mad at you.
2006-08-10 10:09:47 · answer #9 · answered by mex-o-funk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then screw them. If they dont want to accept what happened then forget it. Get close to your new husbands family. They will either have to accept it or not. You have to do the same. Leave them alone. It sucks but clearly blood is not thicker then water to them.
2006-08-10 10:09:58 · answer #10 · answered by taz4x4512 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore it, you know your ex alot better than they do. He'll eventually show his true colors to them. Your ex must be thrilled that your family is doing this. Show him that you refuse to let it get to you.
2006-08-10 10:09:43 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋