He said that he had not been in love with me for at least a year, and that he still loves me. He said he didn't leave me because he thought that I had done too much for him (I have been working at McD's and putting him through school so he could join the marine corps.) He is now done with meps and in dep.
He said that he "emotionally cheated" on me with his ex-girlfriend from high school (his first love), and doesn't remember if they kissed ("If I did it was instinctual"). They went up into the hills together to look at the stars and he told her her loves her. He hasn't even seen her for 7-8 years, until 2 weeks ago.) He claims that he is not sure if they are going to start dating, but I'm sure he is. When he left last night, he went to her house and talked with her and then "slept in her car". She left her boyfriend of 4 years (long distance relationship) to be with him.
He's offered me financial support but he hasn't had a job in 2 years and hurt his back.
2006-08-10 09:55:24 · 12 answers · asked by all_the_answers 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He most likely will not be joining the marines now. He cannot afford surgery without me.
I don't really know what my question is, except how do I deal with this? I know that I still love him, but I also know that I can find love with someone who will be happy with me. I never want to play second best, if he does try to come back. She is younger than me (I'm 25, she's 23, he's 25), skinnier, and makes more money. It now feels like I was his crutch and now he found someone who will be a better one. How do I not hate him and how will I ever trust anyone again? He is severly against cheating and said that "emotions took over" and he's "a bad person" and that he doesn't know who he is anymore. My whole life is over, and a new one beginning, but it feels like I'm mourning the loss of my future. We were trying to have kids, and we were only married 30 days. I know he was sad being at home alone all the time, with a hurt back, while I was at work, but it just doesn't seem fair.I loved him
2006-08-10 10:01:16 · update #1
I just want to say thank you to everyone. :) It's only been a day since it happened, but I am already seeing hope for a new future. My parents have offered to help me find a different 1 bedroom apartment, and my dad told me to go to his work and apply for a job. (He's upper management at a car dealership.) I think that I am going to stay single for awhile, and try to figure out why I let myself get used. I haven't fully accepted the fact that I was, it always felt like we were working together on a goal, but maybe we weren't. I do know that I need to be with a stronger man than he was, and that, in the end, I'll be okay. There is a time and place for everything, and now has become my time to reach my goals and carve out a better life for myself. Later on I can find the man that truly is my other half.
2006-08-10 13:58:49 · update #2
I just found out I'm pregnant.
2006-08-11 14:46:06 · update #3
basicaly this guy only loves you.
he would come back repenting to you.
he doesnt love that other girl
and when he does that-accept him back.
dont be high headed and stubborn that time.
he is a bit confuded and messed up.But he would
be back just within a year for you.
Hold on till that time--because you love him
2006-08-11 03:56:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There are so many questions i need to ask to be able to understand it all. I think you've been had. he has taken you for a ride. He is a lazy piece of **** hurt back or not. A real man would never make A woman take care of him much less leave her after all that she had done
As bad as this sounds you need to get mad....mad as hell and stay that way so you don't let him back into your life. I have been in a really bad relationship. for 3 years i let a man control my life and i was miserable. Then one day i woke up and said "I'm done".
That's what you need to do, be done with him. You will be happy again. After everything i went through with my ex it made me stronger. Now I've been with a wonderful man for 2 years and we are getting married next month
Good luck to you i hope every thing works out
2006-08-10 10:44:20 · answer #2 · answered by prettygirl5 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear what happened to you, you didnt deserve that from him. He should not have married you if he didnt love you. Annulments are EXTREMELY hard to get so no you do not sound like you have any real reason to get an annulment awarded to you. Maybe consider having an abortion or giving the baby up for adoption so you dont have to deal with him. If you are set on keeping the baby, have a custody arrangement in order BEFORE the baby is born (during the divorce get that order put in. Like how much he has to pay you in child support AND alimony since you put him through school and are now pregnant with his child! Get as much money out of the divorce as possible! He deserves a legal kick in the a s s!). Also get tested by your OGYN for STDS! because he may have slept with the new GF while you were still having sex with him too! In the divorce have your lawyer note that HE is leaving YOU because he committed ADULTRY. Legally he CANT have a GF until he is officially divorced from you. Good thing to do would be to follow him (or have a friend follow him) with a camera and take pictures of him kissing this new GF and spending time overnight at her place. Physical evidence of his adultry is the best thing for you to have for the divorce (such as pictures, videos, etc). Just do it in secret, say parked in a car he doesn't recognize several feet away and just take these pictures for the divorce, but once you have a few pictures of good hard evidence of cheating, dont follow him after that. Good luck and look to your family and friends now for emotional support. Ask your friends and parents if they have a friend who is a good divorce lawyer.
2016-03-27 07:09:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know, I have feelings for one my best friend all those years. but when I met my wife, I glad I did and been married for 9 years... I haven't seen my best friend for 10 years and finally she found me... but you know I was try to tell her 10 14 years ago that I have feelings for her.. but now I don't I have a wonderful wife to be with my life time. and even if we divorce I wouldn't want anyone and I just want to be live close by my wife and kids.
I don't understand why he didn't say anything to you for one year. Ummmm, You know he knew that he has feeling for ex girlfriend so long, he though be with you and married you because he has live off your money that you work. He can't becasue Back injurys.
Once he back to ex girlfriend but if didn't work out.. do not take him back! he would do again to find better woman... But If I am wrong then Have him show to you 1 year to proof that he loves you and still want you back?
It took me five years to have a woman in my life. and She finally give up and give me a 2nd chance guess what we been married for 9 years now.. and I really really do work very very hard. She sure made it hard to catch her. smiling. Move on and not even think about him.. You will be trust again and also there a guy really would love you so much even if he didn't have ex in his mind. ... smiling. wish you luck..
2006-08-10 10:33:52 · answer #4 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he used you. not only that but he is a peice of crap. i know how hard it is to let go .. but i would suggest to not have this baby, and to find a new lover... the last hting u need is to carry around extra baggage along with this horrable time in your life. It will be scary, but he is no kinda man . if he was capable of leaving you this quickly he ovisoually had something going on with this girl for a while. dont believe what men tell you b.c. they lie, he will only allow u in to a part of his affair, the parts that he thinks u can handel. i would get a new man .. and make him jelous, atleast then u will not be the one hurting.
2006-08-15 08:17:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be glad it was only 30 days. The only advice I can give you is that you are a beautiful, hard working woman that deserve alot better. But time will mend a broken heart, so until then, stay strong, keep your head up and remember, it was his lost. Good luck baby.
2006-08-10 10:13:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh thats horrible. I honestly don't think he ever got over her. I'm pretty sure he still has feelings for you. And I bet seeing her again brought back old feelgs he had for her, but its only going to last a few weeks then they'll start thinking about why they broke up in the first place.
2006-08-10 10:14:05 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. G 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Probably if you get back w/him now the baby will eventually have to face the consequences of divorce. SO, I would just go on without him. Stay strong, girl. Nobody needs a man like that. It just sounds like he's full of crap!
2006-08-16 01:58:40 · answer #8 · answered by kimgirlscout 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rid him from your life, he's a little boy in a man's body.
2006-08-10 10:13:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to hear this now, but in time you will be glad he is gone.
2006-08-10 10:07:38 · answer #10 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋