Say the adult man in your life, who has been a good man all his life, was molested as a child and just recently started to go to counselling for it. He decided to start counselling after he became recently aware of CONTROLLABLE thoughts of molesting other people the same age he was when he was abused. Besides this, he is aware of little other lasting trauma from the sexual abuse.
How much of this would you want your man to tell you about? Would you honestly leave him at some point if he told you about his thoughts about young people? This is a serious question and no, I am not talking about myself.
2006-08-10 08:55:16 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
So, is it the opinion of most that a man should keep his abuse and his counselling a secret from his girl or else the relationship is doomed?
2006-08-10 09:06:43 · update #1
I have three daughters, so the thought of someone like that being in my life scares the sh*t outta me. If he was a really good man, and we had been together for awhile, I might stay with him if he agreed to stay in counseling- since he was being honest about having a problem. I would never leave my girls alone with him though, and if he ever tried to touch one of them- I would castrate him- no questions asked! :)
2006-08-10 09:03:39 · answer #1 · answered by stormieserenity 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think if you've been through this much with him then youre prepared to go the course, he is seeking help and as long as he keeps it a controllable thought then it seems unfair to leave him just because he was molested as a child. There must be support groups for people in your position. It all depends how it affects your state of mind. He obviously has suffered trauma from the abuse or he wouldnt have these thoughts. How does he feel about you seeing his counsellor too? I think you need a professionals advice and support.
2006-08-10 16:04:22 · answer #2 · answered by sarkyastic31 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a sreious question. My opinion, if you really love that man then that means you'll stick by his side through thich and thin. If he's having thoughts of doing the same things, he has already taken the first step; getting counseling. A loving female would work through it with her man unless he actually acted upon some of those thoughts, then that would be a dirrerent story. I hope all of this made sense. Best wishes to whomever it is you're talking about.
2006-08-10 16:04:17 · answer #3 · answered by philly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have an open, honest relationship with your man. Let him share his thoughts with you. This is probably a tough time for him to go through. Help him out. Maybe his counselor is telling him to talk to you about it so that you know what he's been going through? By sharing his thoughts with you, your man might be getting these things off his mind. I would stick by him. Even though it might be disturbing for you to listen to, keep an open mind. Being molested is probably a very traumatic thing to go through. By going to counselling, he's trying free these thoughts from his mind. Support him.
2006-08-10 16:22:25 · answer #4 · answered by Lyssums 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the person that the man is with. If the woman in supportive and understanding then he should be able to talk to her about anything.
Me personally? I would try to help the man I loved. I would talk to him about his thoughts and feelings and encourage him to get help. It is a matter of the man making the choice not to continue the cycle of abuse. I wouldn't immediately leave him. I would leave him if he indulged in his sick twisted fantasies. I would let him know that up front and tell him that if he harmed a child that I would cut his manhood off and feed it to him.
2006-08-10 16:14:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him honestly. I was in a similar situation, and it only got worse. The fact that you are asking people anonymously about this situation shows that you are not comfortable with it. Some people are natural caregivers and love giving themselves to another person, no matter what. I am not one of those people. I prefer to be in an equal give and take relationship. Figure out how much you are willing to give and make your decision from there.
2006-08-10 16:33:09 · answer #6 · answered by magerk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats jsut disturbing. if u truly love a person u will stay with them no matter what and try to help them get help. both of my brothers where molested.raped by there father and stuff and my brother had the thoughts and when i was a little child my brother raped me
2006-08-10 16:04:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow this is a tough question????
i think u need professional help and not the help of us
in my opinion i think u should leave him its obvious that its affecting you and dont put yourself through it much longer but if u dont want to leave him look for someone to help the both of u
hope i helped
2006-08-10 16:00:28 · answer #8 · answered by nicaraguabeauty 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
well it would be scary, but i will try to be supportive, i will be wary if we have kidz together though, but they say love conquers all, (i will keep the cops number handy though)
2006-08-10 16:05:31 · answer #9 · answered by livinia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it was a woman yes and I would give my all into helping her. if I loved her
2006-08-10 16:15:40 · answer #10 · answered by Tonnie T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋