My choice cost me an old friend - what would u do?

Question

If one of your friend's children were disrespectful to your own kids (or other adults), misbehaved, mistreated property or were otherwise disruptive *when in your home*, would you:

- address occurrences immediately with the child;
- address occurrences immediately with the parent;
- wait and address the long-term issue if it gets to a point where it needs to be dealt with;
- ignore the behavior in the hope that the parent will intervene.

Before you answer, note:
- The friend has a pet peeve about telling people how to raise their kids and other adults directly intervening with children that are not theirs.

My wife and I lost an old friend because we acted on option #3 and got blasted for waiting.

We're on the moral high ground, but still looking for validation.

Answer 1

Ok first I believe that you have nothing to feel bad about. Unfortunately it cost you a friend at this point.

Raising kids is a tricky thing, not everyone has it down. But as a parent when another child is misbehaving you have a right to inform the parents. If they see it as a problem that you are "telling them how to raise their kids" or you are attempting "to intervene with their children." Then that is on THEM.

As a parent you have a right to set the example to your child however you see fit, whether you talk with, etc. It is your choice!

Hope you feel better about your decision.

Answer 2

every1 has their own opinion on how to deal with such situation for me id address the child and the parent immediatly. Their child is in your house he/she should respect your rules and if not then u should have the right to intervine and tell the child that what they did is wrong. also its good to let the parents know so they can be aware of the childs behavior if they were not there or if they are then to address both at the same time would be good. im not saying be mean to the child or the parents but explain to them both that this is your home and you'd like them to show some respect towards your rules. Your choice to pick option 3 is that of your own i personally think depending on how long u wait to address the issue will effect the outcome..besides if its not addressed asap then they think they can get away with anything and walk all over u. thats just my opinion, but like i said b4 each person has their own opinion.

Answer 3

I would normally chose 3, but if the friend has a pet peeve, it probably won't go anywhere. I think the best thing to do is try to stay away from this friend, and when they say why, bring up the disrespect issue and the fact that you felt that you did not want to address this with them, and you are only looking out for your child's psychological well being

Answer 4

1st I would address occurrences immediately with the child, 2nd wait and address the long-term issue if it gets to a point where it needs to be dealt with. I have sort of the same situation with my BF. This is the way I have had to deal with problems from his child. Other wise it causes all kinds of problems between us. He hates for any one to say anything about how to raise his daughter.

Answer 5

If the child is misbehaving in MY HOME, I address the child first mildly. If it continues during same occurence, I will bring it to the parents attention. If that does no good, they are no longer invited back.

I have found it hard to deal with friends who have children of the same age as mine. Most people don't think their precious angels can do any wrong.

Answer 6

thats crazy. you guys chose the best of the options and were disrespectful towards your family and your property. you shouldnt have to take that just because it would be "polite" to ignore it