I am a forty year old man with two children. My wife is one year older. Several months before Christmas I was very unhappy on how I had been as a husband and father to my children. I was a workaholic and only cared about my needs. I was never happy and always complained about how bad things were at home and the office. Well, I changed all that and told my wife I was going to be different. Things went bad a few months later. She became distant and cold. No sex period also. She told me that she could not carry the load any more and she found a new life in working-out (running). She told me that there was no one else or an affair. She also says I am very controlling. Now it has been 8 solid months that I have let her go somewhat. I have slipped up a few times but will not go to marriage counsueling. We do not agure or fight. We are just roommates. How long do I stay. I feel like crap!! She is in therapy now by herself only. She will not disucss it with me. How Long?????
2006-08-10 08:07:44 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hey there, why don't you try the counseling also. Smart move
2006-08-10 08:13:02 · answer #1 · answered by sweet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your wife is going to therapy, then she is helping herself.
How many years were you a workaholic? 10 years? Remember you behaved a certain way for a long time and it will take a long time for her to see you have changed. You can't walk into the woods for 15 years and expect to get back out of the woods in 8 months. Good Luck to you and your wife.
2006-08-10 08:22:49 · answer #2 · answered by Samantha1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need the advise of a professional counselor. You can't change other people. You can only limit your exposure to them. Since you have 2 children you'll be stuck dealing with her anyway. If you get a divorce, you'll get less cooperation. If you manage to be a positive person to be around, she may want to be around you. You may have to counter her running with taking the kids out. Just don't sit at home. You are responsible for your own happiness.
2006-08-10 08:14:38 · answer #3 · answered by Tony T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really it depends on you. She may be angry that you are not willing to go to counseling. I mean she may feel like you refuse to try counseling, so why bother talking to her. I notice you say you slipped up a few times. You need to either prove to her that you are willing to commit to only her or leave. That may mean appologizing every day, going to counseling both with her AND alone, and being where you are going to be when you say you are going to be there. If you are willing to do that, then maybe your marriage has a chance, otherwise you need to realize you really hurt her and need to move on.
2006-08-10 08:21:53 · answer #4 · answered by chemrose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are unhappy, let her know. If she doesn't care or won't work on it, then she is not the women for you. Life is wayyy too short to spend time in a bad relationship.
2006-08-10 08:13:12 · answer #5 · answered by saratgoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would seriously recommend marriage counseling. It worked for my parents. Just try it a couple of times and see if it helps. I'm really sorry.
2006-08-10 08:13:53 · answer #6 · answered by Precious 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. There is someone else
2. Suggest joint counseling
3. When she turns you down go hire the best divorce lawyer you can find
4. Eat her flesh
When i say eat her flesh i mean in divorce court not literally
2006-08-10 08:32:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just like she waited for you to get your self together wait on her if things don't get any better in a while then seek counseling
HOPE IT WORKS OUT
2006-08-10 08:14:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she has put up with all she is going to put up with ...it happens.
Sorry, I have to say I am in her camp. It happens.
2006-08-14 05:45:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you can't work things out why waste anymore time. is it cheaper to keep her, or do you not want to let go.
2006-08-10 08:14:05 · answer #10 · answered by tbird00719 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋