I have been seperated from my wife for 4 years. Now that the divorce is being finalized I really want to be over her, but I've never stopped loving her. It was hard on both of us, but she's the one that ended it. We still talk and are on good terms. She lives overseas now.
While I have been on a few dates over the past few years, I haven't met anyone I really care for or have even slept with.
Any suggestions?
2006-08-10 07:54:55 · 13 answers · asked by AnswerBot 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Take your time. Even though you were separated for 4 years, you still remained committed to your marriage. The relationship the two of you maintained is commendable, but it puts a bit of a strain on your ability to let her go. I would never advise anyone to not continue to love someone, as a friend or otherwise. However, you need to redirect your focus. Looking for love in the bedroom or the club is not the answer. Change your focus to something constructive. Pick up a class or a hobby doing something that strongly requires your undivided attention, outside of your work life. You won't believe how a strong involvement can pull you in new directions and peace of mind. You can develop a sense of fulfillment. Who knows, you might end up actually finding someone else at some point. I wouldn't rush it, if I were in your situation.
Best wishes.
2006-08-10 08:02:42 · answer #1 · answered by *~*~*~~~His Angel~~~*~*~* 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Only prayer & time will help you get to a state of mind where your life will go on for the better. This is never an easy situation to deal with and can cause depression, loneliness, and stress if you don't try to work on getting pass it. Now would be the time to get into or start something you've always thought about doing & never got a chance too. This may be a way of keepping your mind occupied & may lead to your meeting someone else with your new interest. Good Luck!
2006-08-10 15:16:58 · answer #2 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as if you have a lot of free time, you should take up a hobby or go to school, do something that will keep your mind occupied. Do things that make you feel good and positive about yourself and that's good you haven't sept with anyone, don't, wait until you find the right person and get married. I am single also and saving myself for marriage 27 years old and enjoying life to the fullest.
2006-08-10 15:03:09 · answer #3 · answered by Prayerwarrior 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though you have tried the dating process, however do not look for someone to replace her, look towards in having a good time. Eventually when you are truly over your wife you will find someone who you will care about, but have some fun in the mean time.
2006-08-10 15:00:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a man --- she don't want to be with you -- hence why be stupid and love someone that doesn't love you. Three days should be about the limit in that case and your stuck like some girly in a romantic fantasy for over 4-years.
So make up your mind weather you are going to be a man or act like a stupid teenage girl.
2006-08-10 15:19:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should have never separeted if u still get along with her u should talk with her about it if she stills feels love with u get back together but do not marry hey again marriage is not good because if u have problems with her again u could just seperate and dotn have 2 go trough the trouble of divorce
2006-08-10 15:01:32 · answer #6 · answered by rapping_game 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL , ONE OF YOU MISTAKES IS THAT YOU ARE STILL IN CONTACT WITH HER , I AM NOT SAYING THAT YOU SHOULD NOT EVER SPEAK TO HER BUT YOU HALF TO GIVE YOURSELF TIME . BY BEING HARD ON YOURSELF . HOW? ACT LIKE SHE LEFT AND YOU NEVER HEARD FROM HER AGAIN , THE MORE YOU TALK TO HER THE MORE YOU WOULD MISS HER AND LOVE HER MORE . THAT'S WHY YOU CAN NOT MOVE ON . WHEN I WENT THOUGH SOMETHING JUST LIKE THIS , I WOULD CHANGE MY NUMBER AND CRY EVERY NIGHT UNTIL WHEN I WAS READY TO SPEAK AND SEE THAT PERSON AND NOT WANT TO BE WITH HIM. AND IT TOOK ME ONE YEAR . SO I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL . GET TO KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH AND LEARN ABOUT YOU AGAIN. SHE WILL ALWAYS BE IN YOUR HEART BUT DON'T LET HER TAKE TO MUCH SPACE . REMEMBER SHE IS THE ONE THAT ENDED THE MARRIAGE SO IT CAN'T BE THAT HARD FOR HER IF SHE DID NOT WANT TO BE WITH YOU.REMEMBER IT IS HARD FOR YOU BUT GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE . I DID , AND KNOW I AM SO HAPPY AND KNOW I CAN SEE AND HEAR FROM HIM AND NOT WANT TO BE WITH HIM . AND IT IS NOT FAIR TO THE OTHER WOMEN . YOUR NOT GIVING THEM A REAL CHANCE OR YOUSELF . IF YOU REALLY WANT TO GET OVER HER GET FROM UNDER HER . WOMEN KNOWS WHEN WE HAVE, A MAN ON OUR PINKY FINGER . DO YOU HAVE HER ? GOOD LUCK YOU CAN DO THIS I KNOW YOU CAN .... FIND YOURSELF AND NOT HER . IT IS NOT ABOUT BEING WITH SOMEONE ELSE TO GET OVER SOMEONE IT'S ABOUT YOU AND IF YOU DON'T SEE THAT WHO ELSE WILL . I HOPE THAT I HELPED YOU OR GAVE YOU SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT....
2006-08-10 18:07:03 · answer #7 · answered by LAMIKA P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't just say ok I am going to be over it. When you meet someone that you can be interested in you won't have to worry about being over it because you will be so busy thinking about that person she will be a distant memory!
2006-08-10 15:00:43 · answer #8 · answered by sibelover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on lots of dates and have fun. She isn't coming back, so don't keep thinking about her. Once you get some from a new gal you will forget about her.
2006-08-10 14:59:44 · answer #9 · answered by TropicalSun 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard..but just get over it by doing something else and trying to forget it. It took me long to forget a friend that didn't want to be my friend anymore.. but i did it
2006-08-10 14:58:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋