why is it so hard to find a good relationship after so many failed ones?

Question

I have had several failed relationships due to the fact that the guy just wants what he can get. Im at the point of having NO feelings for any guy that i come in contact with in any way. im beginning to think that men are just dogs.

I must add, that ALL men are NOT dogs... i have just decided that some are worthless.

Answer 1

I would recommend taking a break from dating all together. Discover who you are first, and make a list of the qualities you would like in a man.
From my own personal experience, I took a year off from dating all together, and when I did start dating again I met the man I married. Who met ever quality I had wanted in a mate!
Hope this helps you! and Good luck!

Answer 2

Don't take this wrong, but you are the common denominator. You have been present in each of these failed relationships. I'm not blaming you, but have you ever thought that maybe you're teaching these men how to treat you? You need to be confidant with yourself and not settle for anything less than you deserve. You shouldn't have feelings for just anyone. Don't be fooled into thinking that you won't find someone to be with. The truth is you will, but don't allow yourself to just pick any random guy. I know it sucks if you're lonely. From experience I can say when you think you're done with this whole thing and you're ready to give up, THAT's when someone will come along. Now don't get me wrong. There is no such thing as a perfect partner. Just the perfect partner for YOU. You're going to have problems with any person you end up with. Things will not always be great. You have to be even stronger when you get into a relationship.

Answer 3

this is about you not the guys-you obviously pick the wrong guys-i mean it's like buying rotten fruit and blaming the fruit-you need to get real with yourself-firstly, do you love yourself-if not than how can you expect someone else to?Take a look at the type of guys you are going out with-is there a pattern-if so then you need to change it-you cannot keep doing the same things and expecting different results.I believe that is the definition of insanity-what type of message are you sending that you keep attracting a certain type of guy .to say all men are dogs is ridiculous-gross generalizations are just a convenient cop out.I could really help you with more if i knew other details involved.for right now the best I can offer is take an honest assessment of yourself-maybe discuss it with some other person who knows you and will be honest with you.Good luck!

Answer 4

Here's what you do.

First, quit being negative about men. Just like women, there are good men and there are bad men, self and unselfish.

Second, realize that you are also responsible for your situation. You are obviously attracted to self-centered *ssholes. They aren't kicking down the door to get into your life. You're opening the door and inviting them in.

So here's what you need to do: Mentally inventory all your failed boyfriend and establish what they all had in common. If you're an honest person, you'll probably be able to come up with a couple of things.

Third. Now that you've established a pattern to the lousy men you date, go out and date somebody completely against type. Open your mind to other possibilities. I bet you'll be completely surprised and delighted at the results.

Answer 5

I can understand your frusteration, but not all men are that way. I would hate to see you become bitter and avoid happiness. Perhaps a break from the dating scene is what you need for a while. Take a break and evaluate your past relationships and see what the common denominator was. Have you been picking the "same" guy just in a different body? Time to figure out what you are looking for and not settle for ANY less.

Answer 6

We ARE just dogs. So treat us like dogs and we'll be perfectly happy. I'm actually taking notes for a book that outlines how women should handle their guys, using Dog training techniques.

The hard part you are going to have now is that you don't trust any guy that comes along. I'd also guess that you haven't figured out what those guys have in common, and that you keep heading back to the same store to buy your puppies. (bar, work, etc.)

Start hanging out somewhere different and meet different guys in different ways. you'll have much better luck.

and yes, thats exactly what we want. What you are willing to give us. If we start taking more than we can get, then its called rape.

Answer 7

Okay, just a forewarning, this will be harsh advice. I wouldn't tell it to you if I hadn't had to learn the same thing myself.

The common denominator in all your failed relationships is you.

That's a fact that is hard to excape. When one person burns you, shame on them. When several dozen guys burn you, you can no longer blame the male population for your troubles.

Not all guys are saints. Neither are all girls.
Not all guys are dogs. Neither are all girls.

There are good guys out there, trust me, I know a few. The problem with nice guys is that many women are uninterested in them for a variety of reasons. Nice guys can't be saved. They aren't as exciting. They don't have that whole "danger" element. Et cetera.

So, if you want a nice guy, you are going to have to change your outlook. You need to purposfully readjust who you are looking for. And where you are looking. It will be hard to find a nice guy out in the club.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Your attitude is poisoning your approach toward socializing, which means that the only men you will attract are the ones who will reinforce your bad stereotype of men by being one of them.

If you can repair your self esteem and get over the past, you might be able to focus on what you have to offer and how YOU treat men; otherwise, get back to enjoying life and hopefuly a normal one will come along.

Don't date for the reasons that you did before, or because you feel that you must - just let it happen if it does, but don't force anything.

Answer 9

I can relate to how your feeling. I was there once. I decided to just stop looking. I gave up on men. Then one day, Out of no where, I met a guy. We became Friends. I let him know right up front I wasn't looking for a relasionship. After about 8 months of enjoying each others company we just connected. We've been married now for 14 years. It will happen. Just stop looking for awhile. See where that takes you.

Answer 10

not all of us are dogs. the good thing about dating is you get to try different people "on". no matter how hot and heavy things get between you and a new beau, do not give in to physical intimacy.it may be hard but you can find out if a guy just wants to use you or if he may be worth pursuing.