What do you do when you get really angry? grieving?

Question

I am mature enough to admit that in the past month or so I have had an increased problem with anger. It seems everything and everyone is making me angry. How can I deal with these emotions in a healthy way? I have felt like I may slap and curse one of my co-workers lately. What do you do when get so angry you have physical side effects ie: Shaking, Red in the face, rapid heart beat.?

I did start Therapy a few weeks ago to deal with the death of someone very close to me. Is my Anger just apart of the grieving process?

Answer 1

Yes, my dear - that's exactly what's going on. I am so sorry you're going through this terrible time - it's tough & you are just going to have to slog through it. Whenever you feel the anger beginning to build you are going to have to remove yourself from the situation until you can calm down. Practice deep breathing & work on reducing your heart rate with that. Walk away - just say excuse me & go. If you need to talk to your boss about it tell them it's what you have to do. I understand so well where you are. Please mention this all to your therapist - you may even need to go on an antidepressant for a while to help with mood swings & stuff. It's hard - but you'll learn a lot about yourself in the process of healing & the grieving process. And time does help - that's the only thing that makes it better. Look for as much support as you can get, okay? Take care, be well - xo pumpkin

Answer 2

Your anger is part of the grieving process. You're angry at the loved one who has left you, and you are taking that anger out on others. Additionally you are afraid that the others around you may also leave you, so you become angry with them even more.

What helps is to write down your feelings, draw pictures, create lists of the things you like about your co-workers, talk it out, etc. And read up on the grieving process, it has a number of stages you're just getting started.

Answer 3

It could be a part of your grieving. But you need to try to cntrol it. I think you are doing the right thing if you are seeking professional help. If the moment arrives that you get really mad go sit down by yourself and think about something that makes you happy or calm. Try not to think about the situation that made you mad until you are calm and the asses it and figure out how to handle it. It isnt healthy to react to things like that. I mean it is ok to get mad. It is an emotion we are entitled to but how you handle it is another story. You have to try to remain calm for your sake and everyone else's sake also.-I used to be the same way but I learned to focus on something positive when I get upset. Walk away from it and I usually go smoke a cigarrette ( it is bad and I dont recommend smoking tho) and think about the things that I love or people I love.-Talk to your therapist and maybe they can give you more advice because I really am not a professional-obviously. I hope it all works out and know that you are a good person and someone does care for you ok.

Answer 4

It's terrific that you can identify and admit to this problem. Some people try to project all their anger onto inanimate objects, pillows, etc, and others try not to be angry at all, in effect killing the angre problem by self imposed good behavior. If you fell that your angre is related to the death of your loved one, it may be that the expirience has made you reasses your values, maybe you're a different person now, with a different way of thinking and perspective. You angre could perhaps be the result of an unconscious automatic complex in your mind, when hearing something, out of a cynical or angry tendency, make it your first priority to think of something negative. Deneuing a tendency like this is only a matter of confronting it and being on your toes about regulating it.
What always helps me in times of personal problems is simply to do all that I can just to make myself feel good. I like to watch comedy, as I find laughter is medicinally cathartid. I hope this helps!

Answer 5

Anger is totally a part of the grieving process. You should not be wanting to hit coworkers though. I think it's important to breathe, take yourself out of the situation and like the guy before me said, think positive thoughts. Maybe talk more to your therapist.

Answer 6

If you're in therapy, this is definetly a subject you should bring up with your therapist. Anger is just a small part of grieving. It's important to know how to deal with all the emotions that go hand in hand with grieving.

There's always the alternative which we use in our office........HUMOR! There always something funny to laugh about, and it helps keeps us very sane in a very insane world!

Answer 7

If you smoke like I do, walk away and smoke a cigarette, it will calm you down. If you dont smoke call a friend you can vent to.and then what ever the problem is, go back in and talk about it calmly. If you still feel the same, try anger management, or handle it after work with her where you cant get fired for what happens.

Answer 8

Anger at their leaving you behind, or anger at your loss perhaps. Getting angry at other - possible - I believe it is called transferrence. However, your anger may also be a result of high insulin/low blood sugar, possibly due to the stress of the death on your life, or other genetic/hormonal changes having nothing to do with your loss.

If therapy does not fully resolve your increased anger, you may want to talk to a doctor about getting tested for high insulin/low blood sugar. For basic info on blood sugar imbalances, please check out www.hufa.org.

Answer 9

I think its part of the grieving process... All i do whenever i get too angry is think about what will cause it. Ya know...cause and effects.=) and then... i also think about positives. That always helps me.