I am having an affair with a guy that is 38 I am only 26. He tells me he loves me and I am amazing all that crap...why is he doing this? I don't want to be with him or anything but he started saying things that made emotions get involved I wasn't expecting. What should I do? I am feeling guilty, I've never done anything like this before, my husband and I were split when it started but are now thinking about trying to work it out. Why can't I just let this guy go and forget about him. He has me wound up.
2006-08-10 07:19:18 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am not going to judge you, becuase this happens a lot, I understand exactly what you are going through. Please do not think that you are alone on this, there are more people out there that go through this than admit. It is hard, but YOU and only you can decide if you have the same feelings for him, and how true those feelings are, YES you are married and so is he, and you know what **** happens. We have to deal with it. Sometimes two people meet, fall i n love, married or not. and can live happily ever after, and other times, it is a wake up call.. Everything happens for a reason, and maybe the reason was to show you what you have with your husband, and what he has with his wife, If you TRULY want to work things out with the hubby, then you will need to be the bigger person and cut all ties. In fact, maybe you should just cut all ties and see what happens from there, what is meant to be will be, and that is what I believe. I have experienced this first hand, and it is hard. So take some time to yourself, and figure out who you are and what you want, I know that, that is not an easy task. Or you can get back with hubby and work on the marriage, things happen all the time and we may not know the reasons right now, but they will eventually get clear, Things always get worse before they get better, Hang in there. You are you and you will be okay.. Have faith.. Best of luck, oh and ignore all those that say this is your fault. WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love knows no boundries..
2006-08-10 07:35:14 · answer #1 · answered by sweet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for the situation your in. At the time you were split up, maybe looking for a little companionship and fun, and now the married guy is getting "involved". Time to sit down and think about what you really want. If it is your marriage then the obvious thing to do is to end the affair. If you dont want to marriage and find this man to be what your looking for then proceed after filing for divorce. Personally, maybe you should take a break from the both of them and get your thoughts together before making a choice.
2006-08-10 14:32:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is married and you are seperated (for now) and he loves you then why is he still with his wife. If the married man is screwing around on his wife -don't you think he will do it to you later down the road. If your husband was good to you and never cheated on you - didn't lie to you then maybe you should be weighing out who really is the better man. The one who tells you what you want to hear - or the one who is doing all the right things. All men can be flattering - and there is so much temptation in the world. I also think this is something most married girls go thru around 27-30 years of age. Most men go thru it around 40. Don't know why but the grass usually is not greener on the other side. Good luck "what if's" are hard to deal with and it looks like you will have one no matter what you decide.
2006-08-10 14:30:23 · answer #3 · answered by daybreakxoxo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to decide what you want to do. Are you in love with the married guy, would he leave his wife for you? Do you want your husband back? A lot falls under these decisions.
Honestly, I think you need to clear your head for a while and stay away from both men. Clearly, it sounds like you are confused on love-nobody said marriage was easy, but don't beat yourself up because you had an affair. YOU ARE HUMAN!! Nothing is perfect!!
Take care of yourself for a while, get some counseling and everything, in time should fall into place!
2006-08-10 14:28:38 · answer #4 · answered by redirishactress 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, you won't be just messing up your life because there are others to involve, right? He's getting what he can & will say what he needs to for it without any consideration of how your life with your husband will turn out. Men are more difficult to deal with in affairs than females, so you have your hands full when it comes to getting him out of your life. You need to hope that he don't make an effort to let your husband know about the situation, because you may be on your own if this happens.
2006-08-10 14:32:36 · answer #5 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why your questioning what you should do ....you said you don't want to be with him so DONT especially if you are thinking about getting back with your husband. Even if you were not thinking about getting back with your husband why would you want to put any kinda of serious emotions ,feelings or anything into a relationship that started out the way yours did .when you both met each other as cheaters ( sorry but true).what makes you think he won't do the same thing to you If he is doing this to his wife .just see it as what it was sex and let it go there could never be trust for you or him.
2006-08-10 14:30:43 · answer #6 · answered by tinker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is doing it because it is working. You have to decide if your husband can give you the emotional support you so obviously are craving. If he can't it will be hard for you to give up this other guy. He is married however and so are you so that makes this relationship wrong. You should try to work it out with your husband if that doesn't work look for an AVAILABLE man that can provide you the emotional boost you need to be happy.
2006-08-10 14:36:24 · answer #7 · answered by Suesan W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you have feelings for him that you didnt realize. You need to serch deep within yourself and do what you feel. Listen to heart not your brain. Your heart will tell you what is right. If you truely want to forget about him, then let him go completely. No phone calls, no emails, no nothing. It will be hard, but I am sure you can do it. If you really want to get back with your hubby, then you have to have that guy totally out of your life, 100% out of your life. Your marriage wont work if you still have feelings for the other guy.
2006-08-10 14:29:39 · answer #8 · answered by twinkies_22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him it is over and you are going to try to work things out with your husband. He will keep throwing the emotions into it just so he can keep getting sex. Don't get wound up. Just walk away.
2006-08-10 14:25:58 · answer #9 · answered by sexyladyinak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reverse the gear before it's too late..u can lust for others for can only love one.. an extra-marital affair with someone is always exciting but realise who's the one whom u really want to be with and don't regret when u have lose something not worth losing over..
2006-08-10 14:29:51 · answer #10 · answered by azhen_msia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋