My fiance had two ex-wives, both of them were cheaters, and lastly one of them still carry his last name. I am hesitant to take his last name because I feel it doesn't make me unique because two other woman degraded it! I asked why did his last ex-wife keep his last name and he said it was the only way she could still have a part of him even though he divorced her, she's also a dead beat mom who gets perks out of calling during obvious times when we're spending quality time just to cause me discomfort! What would you do?
2006-08-10 07:18:57 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Her being a deadbeat is my business because the 2 children live with my fiance and I and she doesn't pay her support nor come pick them up and he and I have a 11 month old daughter together!
2006-08-10 07:41:56 · update #1
I know its hard, but grit your teeth and go with it. If you love him, then don't let her stupidness mess you up, I kept my last name and added his to mine. Solution solved for both of us!
2006-08-10 07:47:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOT taking his name does not make you a 'lesser' wife.
Take his name or not, it really doesn't matter, you'll still be his wife. You'll still love and care for him the same way no matter the name you take or keep. Do what you feel comfortable with. And as far as I know, there isn't a law that says you can't take it later on should you decide to do so. Just don't lose the marriage certificate, you'll need it to change your name to his.
As far as his ex calling at all the wrong times, turn off the ringers on the phone and turn on the answering machine but lower the volume to its lowest setting. If she calls, you'll never know until you check messages, and if some one else calls, then you can call them back.
2006-08-10 14:31:38 · answer #2 · answered by Lucianna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you love him enough to marry him, and you are a traditionalist who feels that you should take his last name, that the personal issues of two prior (dead beat moms) should not bother you. However, his response seems that he also enjoys a bit of the "trophy status" (oh they keep it because they just can't let me go) that answer is a bunch of crap. They most likely keep it because they are just too lazy to go to public records and social services and change it back. You might want to be a bit more worried about how he already has 2 ex wives, and yet, gets a kick that even though they are divorced, it still runs through his mind that they still "want a piece of him".
2006-08-10 14:25:43 · answer #3 · answered by direly_confused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to inform him to look into the divorce papers I've had the same problem with my ex and if its in the divorce papers he can sue her for keeping his last name because as soon as the divorce is decreed by the judge her name was changed it was up to her to change it at the social security office and the dmv.
2006-08-10 14:27:47 · answer #4 · answered by Darrell V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband's ex-wife still has his last name also.....She says it's because of their son but I also know in my heart it's because she still wants him back...He gets a kick out of it....It's caused us quite a few fights...So really there is no good answer to your question go with your heart if you love him and want to be his wife take his last name...I'm sure the other women will finally get remarried and change their last names also.....
2006-08-10 14:29:28 · answer #5 · answered by babeusahot 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to address this with your husband, because he's your main concern, not her or any of his ex's. As far as the timing she prefers to call, just don't answer or ask him not to answer. She will get the message and call at an appropriate time. The name issue should be discussed with your future husband.
2006-08-10 14:39:23 · answer #6 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I kept my ex's last name until I remarried and then it was the same as my maiden name! :o) It's easier to keep the name, you don't have to change your social security card, etc. I wouldn't hold any value to them keeping his name. As far as her calling during unapproiate times, I would have your husband tell her not to call and then don't answer the phone if she does.
2006-08-10 14:33:10 · answer #7 · answered by hummingbird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not take his last name.. ur gonna be married.. so what if the others have or still have his last name.. they were married u know and u can' t do anything about that.. just focus on u and him..
and as far as the babymamma is concerned her being a dead beat ain't ur business.. now if she keeps calling then that is up to him to tell her about calling so often or calling at reasonable times..
2006-08-10 14:27:44 · answer #8 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
When I got divorced I was going to change my name back to my maiden name but my attorney advised me not to until my children are grown.
2006-08-10 14:26:48 · answer #9 · answered by Jeanette C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way he could have "made" her change her name unless it was part of a divorce agreement.
Be (your first name here) (your maiden name here)-(his last name here).
I.e., Jane Smith-Jones.
2006-08-10 14:27:45 · answer #10 · answered by wmp55 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋