Don't like myself?

Question

Anybody wish they could be someone else? I really don't like myself at all. I have no self-esteem, no sense of direction. I live in a southern city and I'm not Caucasian..I'm Asian. I always feel like I don't fit in. There are so many hot all-american people walking around, and I'm so not that at all. I wish I could be one of them. Nobody wants to date me bc I'm Asian...I wish I was attractive to some people, but I understand that being an Asian guy is sort of the kiss of death for getting people attracted to you. I wish the stereptypes about us being unattractive, nerdy, painfully serious, and void of charm or charisma was completely false, but more and more I understand why those stereotypes exist. All the Asian people I see are really ugly and they only talk with each other. I don't fit in with them, but I don't fit in with all the hot Americans. Anybody else feel the same?

Answer 1

Wow! You sound like you're going through a very painful time. But be assured you are NOT unattractive because you are Asian. First... Change your attitude about yourself. It REALLY starts from within. If you feel joyful, you'll attract joyful people... If you feel that you are ugly, people around you will see ugly.. no matter what race you are. Please do your utmost best to be thankful for how God made you.. Asian, Latin, African American, Caucasian, Native American, etc. There are SO many people who have been in situations where they are permanently disabled or scared (emotionally or physically), disfigured or have major hardship... like not knowing if they will be alive over the next few weeks, days or hours. So, please start with asking God to help you change youf attitude about yourself from the inside first. Take the focus off your looks and hatred toward who you're created to be... because you're wonderful the way you are. Your loved and your special.

There's only ONE you and the world is waiting for you to do something spectacularly positive. It's something that only you can do. Remember you are unique.. By the way... There are a whole lot of GEORGEOUS Asians peeps everywhere. Sounds like your town is kinda... well... not really cool. You may also take into consideration that people may not have wanted to date you because they can sense you don't think much of yourself and more than likely you carry yourself in that very same manner. Ask yourself this question.. would you SERIOUSLY... want to date a person who didn't like themselves or presented to the world that fact that they want to be someone else. THINK NOT!

Secondly, when your attitude changes on the inside...there may be some things you may feel like doing to have your outsides match up. Get a cool hair cut, purchase age appropriate clothes that help enhance your new feelings about yourself. Pay attention to how you walk, talk and express yourself to others (in a nutshell... the total package). If you feel confident and happy on the inside... it can't help but show up on the outside. Expand you horizions, start visiting other cities where a multicultural flavor is the flow. Your Southern town is not the last place on the planet.

If you want to meet people, start volunteering your time and energy to help people. Take the focus off of you Cut out the "I don't like myself and I'm not Caucasian" thing. It's selfserving, destructive, disrespectful to your culture and not to mention... selfish thinking. If you have no direction... start making a list of some of your likes and dislikes, hobbies, plans, hopes and dreams. Then bit by bit do some investigating into those ideas and plans. Then take the next step and make small moves toward seeing some of the things on your list come to fruition.

You're going to be fine... TRUST!!

Answer 2

Mempto, you are just as great as everybody else. What about chairman Kaga on Iron Chef? That dude has enough charisma for the whole country he came from. Sorry....bad example.

There are TONS of sexy, masculine ASIAN men in the movies and I don't know too many women that would pass that up.

I'll share with you a little secret-most people don't feel like they fit in. Even my GORGEOUS brother ( why didn't I get those genes??!!!) and his GORGEOUS blond-haired, blue-eyed girlfriend sometimes feel like they don't fit in (both white). The best thing to do is to remember you were created to be you. Find something that you really love and see if there is a club or local business that supports that thing. You will meet lots of people with the same interests and talents as you, and you won't feel like so much of a second thumb.

Answer 3

I really don't think that your problem is being Asian but you have very low self-esteem. You are probably very attractive but refuse to see yourself as so because of you own bias toward your ethnicity. Try being you and not fit your own stereotype. I am painfully serious and I am an American Caucasian. Just because you are intelligent does not make you nerdy or unattractive. Use this to your advantage. Quit being down on yourself.

Answer 4

Don't compare yourself to anyone else. We all are different. I am taller than most women and I feel left out at times but I don’t feel like I am any less than them. I also weigh more than most women but who cares. I am large and in charge and i have a fiance that loves my stature. Before him i had men who also loved me and what i had to offer. Why? Because i have high esteem and I am proud of myself. Think of the things that you are blessed with. Are you healthy? Is your family healthy? Can you walk on both feet? You have both arms? Can you hear? You have any life threatening diseases? There are so many people I bet that wish they had something you have right now. Everyone isn’t perfect. Even the most beautiful and most popular person has faults and flaws with themselves that they wish they could change. You need to raise your esteem. I told someone else this on another question. Women can sense confidence. We don’t like whimps. If you don’t act like a man, then we don’t want you. Have you seen some guys who are butt ugly but have the prettiest girl on his hip? That's because he has confidence in himself and even though he isn’t considered "hot" in normal society standards, he still is loved and get chicks. Though looks doesn’t really matter to me and it shouldn’t matter. You need to gain confidence in yourself and stop comparing yourself to other people because all it will do it make you depressed. You will never have everything you want in life. You just have to accept who you are and thank God for what you have. FYI I know alot of women who love Asian men. I think they are hot. And smart LOL.

Answer 5

You should not wish to be anyone else but you, which is how God made you. America is the melting pot of the world. Men in general have a hard time where women are concerned. Women expect certain things and you just need to show the woman that comes along that you are fun and not serious all the time. Just be yourself, love yourself and someone will come along. If you don't like yourself, how can you expect someone else to like you?

Answer 6

You are feeling stigmatized. It's when a society, usually close-minded and bigoted, creates certain negative stereotypes of some of its members, and these ideas become so pervasive that eventually they end up affecting the stereotyped persons and make them feel guilty of who they are!

You don't have to feel this way! You should be proud of who you are. We are all wonderful human beings with the same inalienable rights and potential to be great persons. If somebody feels wrong about dating you or hanging out with you because of who you are, is their loss...
If somebody makes stupid asumptions about you just because you are of asian decent, it's them who are wrong, not you. They are the idiots for stereotyping you.

Continue with confidence your path in life, be whoever *you* want to be, don't mind about what others think of you and eventually you'll find people who befriend you for who you really are, and not because of the group or ethnicity you belong too.
You need to fight the stereotypes man, and strive to be who you really want to be.
Be aweasome in everything you do, make your best effort, and you'll show people that their assumptions are wrong and that "Asians are not nerdy, serious, etc...".

Remember, if somebody dismisses you, it's their loss, not yours. They are being the stupid ones, and so, they are not worthy of your company.

Answer 7

Aww- sweetheart! Don't think that... THink of all the people that loves you... Your family... God... Jesus even died on the cross for you... I know lots of Asians that just mingle with others like them, the truth is they won't give us Americans the time a day... All you need is some confidence... Try getting involved in your community to meet new people, go to church, and Next summer go to The Broyhill Leadership aConference in Charlotte, NC, thats where I became confident and learned to be comfortable with myself... I once felt much like you do now... Get involved... Try HOSA... God Bless You! I'll be praying for you!

Answer 8

I am a Black American Woman and 250lbs. of fun filled love. I love myself and it's all because of Jesus Christ. You must learn to love yourself and get around people who can accept you for the beautiful person you are.

Answer 9

There are alot of attractive Asians...you see yourself that way that is why others see you like that as well...

Answer 10

you're facing social discrimination. whinning and complaining is not going to help.