when you upstairs neighbor beats his wife?

Question

How many times do you call the cops? So far we've done it every time we've heard it (3)... It makes me feel weird to continue living there. Any advice?

We told the new super when he came...


We're scared the guy knows its us...

Its a perfect apartment except for having them as neighbors.:(

Answer 1

You keep calling. You also maybe help her gain some self-esteem and knowledge that she deserves better. I loathe the fact that in 2006 women still believe they NEED a man to take care of them. I'm sorry my sisters, I think this is just being LAZY. The funny thing is that many women work way harder at a relationship with a man than the relationship is worth.

We need to infuse our society with self-esteem for women! Too bad people are so afraid of the word FEMINISM. It's a great word and a greater concept. But it has a stigma that you'll wear ****-kickers and flannel the rest of your life, when Feminism has nothing to do with what you wear or who you sleep with. Good God, the fear of being ridiculed by some idiot conservative on talk radio/TV is bigger than the desire to be an equal in our society. Go figure.

Sorry, went on a rant there.

That guy needs anger management and she needs some self-esteem training. But until they get those things, keep calling the cops and ask to be anonymous. Oh you can also call your landlord and tell them that the police have had to come XX times for domestic abuse. That might get them out of the building. In Minnesota, if there are 3 disturbance calls to a tenant in one month, the disturbing tenants can be evicted or at least asked to leave.

Hope that helps a bit.

Good luck to you and your neighbor lady.

Answer 2

I respectfully disagree with the other responses who say to call the cops. You might want to first assess whether the guy will retaliate against his wife later on.

I had a neighbor who beat her kids. One time I saw her beating her son with the metal snap part of a dog leash. I called the cops. When they arrived, she was all sweet and apologetic and said she had had a stressful day. The cops gave her a warning. As soon as they left, she really let loose on the kid for having screamed so loud that the neighbors could hear. She also knocked on my door and started screaming to mind my own business. I was afraid to open the door in case she had a gun or something. She knew it was me who had called the cops because I had told them about the dog leash and she knew I had seen her with the leash.

I'm not ruling out calling the cops. Just think about all the consequences before doing so. Especially, think about if it will help or hurt the actual victim.

Answer 3

I had a friend who had this same problem, except it was a mother beating her daughter in the apartment right across the hall. Some people are just sick and need counseling.

My advice is, keep calling the police whenever you hear it happen, and then plan to move out when your lease expires. If it's really starting to get to you, you might consider telling your landlord about the problem and asking him if you can break your lease early. But definitely keep calling the police each time it happens.

I hope everything works out okay.

Answer 4

I had that situation once and I had to call the cops too. I lived upstairs and the fighting couple lived downstairs. They didn't know it was me calling the cops.

I wound up moving for another reason though. Drugs were a problem next house over and loud music too. There are only eleven houses on the street! Very small dead end street.

Have been where I am now for 15 years without any of those kind of problems.

Answer 5

Call the cops as many times as needed. What you are doing is right! To care about a strangers well being is great and almost unheard of anymore. Every call you make is kept track of and will benefit your neighbor one day. If you have the means, look into moving somewhere else so that you both may have peace of mind.

Answer 6

1. Call a lawyer's hotline & find out if you can take a different avenue of action to put a halt to this abuse. Problem is that the wife may not be pressing charges on her sick husband. Make that two sick people.

2. See if it's feasible to file a legal suit on this man for abusive, violent noise that has caused you so much emotional distress & disturbance in your living environment, that you can't sleep at night, can't concentrate at work, can't enjoy your leisure time at home.

3. There should be police reports & other neighbors to substantiate your claim.

Good luck. Warm regards.

Answer 7

It is sad that women are so insecure with themselves that they continually allow men to abuse them. You should call the cops every time. The one time you don't he may kill her and you will feel very guilty. It doesn't matter if he suspects you or not. If there are children involved, you may also want to call the childrens aid. It must be very aggravating for you, but you are doing the right thing, after so many complaints the landlord will be forced to do something about the situation because it is all documented.

Answer 8

You've called the cops. The situation continues. The woman knows she's in a bad situation and opts to stay there. There is nothing further you can do. If you really want to, perhaps you should leave a letter for the couple upstairs explaining that their tiffs seem to get a little out of control and the rest of the building knows and does not approve.

Answer 9

When I lived in an apartment, we used to hear noises upstairs all the time. We called the police several times because we thought that the husband was beating his wife and it turned out that she was beating him!! I think you should report him.

Answer 10

Why isn't the plice doing anything about it? If you are in an apartment it could be anybody calling the police. All you can do is call evertime it happens. Do the police atleast go there to check things out?