I am getting a divorce and the thought of my soon to be x-husband with someone else is killing me!!?

Question

How do I not go insane and not call and check up on him and not chase him around. I know it is crazy. We are getting a divorce because he done some things he shouldn't have done and basically we just can't get along. But I do still love him.

It just seems like he has already moved on and it is so hard for me to think of him with someone else I don't know what I will do when I actually see it. I know I will probably never find anyone else because I am short and chubby and have 2 kids. UGHHHHHHHHH I hate this!

Um and no thank you I will not share him and whatever diseases he may get that is NOT an option

I would never give him my kids!!! He wouldnt even watch them for 30 minutes for me to go to the store!!!!!!!

I filed for divorce because I can't forgive him!

I know I need to lose weight I have tried but it is just so hard. I was working full time going to school full time and raising kids. Now I am not working but I am going to dental hygiene school and raising 2 kids.

Answer 1

You have to be strong and know that you deserve better in order to receive better. It's definately will be hard to do but you have to take it one day at a time. You will get through it slowly nut surely. Pray about it.

Answer 2

If you can't forgive him and have filed for divorce the time has come for you to close this particular book of life you are living and open another book. Physical size and all that is not a problem. Not everybody likes toothpicks and in the past the full figured women are considered the ideal. Screw what the rest of the world thinks anyway as you will never be able to please the rest of the world nor is it important. Live your own life. Don't forget to get a good lawyer to obtain the proper amount of child support you will be getting from your ex monthly. There are a lot of fish swimming around so get your pole ready.

Answer 3

There is only ONE way to get this out of your system...and it is to .... STOP IT! It is your body that is producing the chemicals that make you feel anger, jealousy, whatever...YOUR BODY, not his! You can blame him for whatever you want, but it is YOU period..YOU! So stop it already. Everytime you start to go there, tell yourself, NO, NOT THIS TIME...never again. And, if you really want the short cut to stopping, I will spell it out for you ...it is painful, it is dangerous, but it works everytime!
1) IF there are kids, have someone take them for the weekend
2) get rid of all pills, guns, etc. in the house. Put them in storage with someone else.
3) Round up EVERYTHING that reminds you of him..pictures, music, souvineers, etc. Place them in a small room.
4) drag out all the candles you can find, make the room as romantic as possible.
5) Lock the front and back doors, put a note on the doors, DO NOT DISTURB. Disconnect all phones and turn of your cell.
6) Go into the room, start all the sad music you can find, play it, look at all the pictures, think of all the good times, then the bad times. YOu will really get depressed and cry your eyes out.
7) Continue to do this until you have the headache from hell. You will get so sick of feeling sorry for yourself, you will get bored with the whole routine. I promise you that. When you reach that point, you are on your road to recovery.
8) He is DEAD! To you, he is dead. The healing process has started. DO NOT fall back into the well of depression..you have been as far down there as possible and found nothing fun about it. Keep you chin high, open doors to new friends and a new life.
9) DO NOT FALL for anyone for ONE FULL YEAR. YOu will end up making the same mistakes you made with the first one if you do.
Follow my advice, and you will not be feeling so blue a week from now, hell...even a day from now. IT works... IT is called concentrated grief. You get so sick of the feeling, you move out of it and move on with your life. Good luck

Answer 4

You need to work on you and building your self esteem. You might see yourself in a way that a man doesn't see you. There are other men that will love you just how you are. You don't have to keep holding on to love for your soon to be ex just because you think you can't get anyone else. Start letting go and working on you. No other person can make you happy but yourself.

Answer 5

Ex's are ex's for a reason. Look at this as an opportunity to open a new chapter in your life. Having two children won't stop guys from dating you. I date lots of women who have children. But being overweight is an issue. It's time to slim down and get back to your dating weight.

Answer 6

You need some counseling you are divorcing him for the reasons you are claiming to hate in the first place...You are about to be free from all that...Do you like drama, do you like being unhappy, so why worry about it, you need some self esteem you don't have to settle anymore...You are a beautiful person, don't mess your kids up by being so needing, if you are unhappy about your weight do something about it....

Answer 7

well to me it sounds like u made the decision to divorce, if its gonna drive u that nuts u shud have tried counselling or working it out because i wud feel the same way if i ever got a divorce, i believe i wud throw up if i saw him with someone else. but on the other hand, there were other measures to take.

Answer 8

you can find someone else. the right person is out there for everyone. but give it time and the thought will not bother you anymore about your ex. the first little while will be hard, but time will heal it. just keep your head up and concentrate on your kids and not your ex. stay strong!!

Answer 9

Sounds like you need to move on too
Give him the kids, Go on a diet, and hope for the best

Answer 10

Did you ask for the divorce or did he? Just wondering.....

My X and I are not divorced yet, but I made it a point to get on with my life without him. I thought I would die at first, but as time goes on it hurts less and less.