help hubbys mad?

Question

i was looking on my space the other day and found my husbands ex wife. he was married to her only 6 months and weve been married 11 years. but on her space were pictures of her and his wedding no his piture but his family and not her new husbands and her wedding well i did something stupid i mess her and asked her why she had her ex husbands stuff and not new family. i wasnt ugly to her. i know his brother and sister have started talking to her . his brother called him and he went over there my husband told me in the hit of the fight that if i started mess with her our marrage is over i am pissed. i know i shouldnt of done it . now it was just like he was defended his family and her and didnt care what i had to say. hes cheated and has lied so theres is that trust for those who have helped me on ? before. please someone give me some good advice if need more info email me the ? thanks

Answer 1

It sounds like you're really upset. Take a deep breath and let it out. Your husband is probably just upset. I'm sure he wouldn't do something as irrational as ending an 11 year marriage over a little e-mail.

It sounds like you let your insecurities get the best of you. First thing you should do is apologize to your husband and explain to him that you weren't trying to cause a problem.

It sounds as if you both have serious trust issues (especially if he's cheated in the past) and could use some counseling.

Answer 2

Sounds like a good Springer topic. Call the show and see if they will air a My wife started $hit with my Ex, and now I am leaving her because of it" episode.

Why do you give crap if she has pictures of your husbands family. You have been married to this guy for 11 years, does his family like her more than you or what? Get over it, apologize to your husband for causing a problem and move on. There has to be something else going on if you are still jealous of a 6 month marriage that look place well over 11 years ago.

Grow up, and find a new place to park your trailer.

Answer 3

Ok, #1 - you already know that you shouldn't have gone looking for his ex wife or even messaged her, but that's done already. #2, honestly, your husband sounds like he might be hiding something from you (or things). Most people wouldn't get defensive the way your husband did and actually threaten your marriage just because you asked why the ex wife has pictures of him or his family on my space. i don't understand why his brother would also tell on you. I suggest one of two things - talk to him (calmly) and explain how you feel - if he is going to blow up, maybe you should reconsider being married to this man...or two -go to counseling. it sounds like there is not a good foundation of trust and loyalty and that needs to be rebuilt again with a little help from someone other than the two of you. Hope everything works out ok.

Answer 4

apparently she has issues if she's not putting people who are in her life now on her page and putting the past out there. How did it get back to you anyway. She probably lured you in. You said he has cheated on you, was it with her. Who ended their relationship and why? If you've been married 11 yrs and they were married for 6 months over 11 yrs ago why is he so pissed at you. He should be wondering why the hell she's putting his fam. on the internet. Ask him where his loyalties lie. Tell him that you should of just left it along but you felt you needed to say something. Tell him how it made YOU feel, screw him.

Answer 5

Well, this seems very heightened emotionally over such a trivial matter.
Why did you think you needed to mess with her?
Is she an obstacle in your relationship with your husband?
Why did your husband get so upset?
Why did he run to her aid, and not yours?
He threatened you, too.
Sounds like your marriage is very rocky indeed.
Get some family counselling,
and ask him does he want to get divorced?
Is this his only excuse to divorce you?
Perhaps, you did this because, you know your marriage is ending?
Get help, advice, ask questions, protect yourself, don't let people push you about. Call the lady, and ask her what is the big deal? It is a valid question? Tape the conversation, be nice, and see what she says. Maybe some answers there you may not want to hear?!?
Good Luck!

Answer 6

If I read that right U said that he has cheated on U before and lied.
If that is true than it makes me wonder if she's not the one he cheated on U with or is cheating on U NOW with...
Why else would he give a damn what U said too her or not??
They were supposedly together for 6 months and U 2 have been married for 11 years?????

I would question his motives for getting angry....
Also why doesn't he give a s**t about Ur feelings here???

Answer 7

I think you need to sit down with him and explain your actions, and your opinions. Let him now how HIS cheating has made you feel, and his old we3dding pictures on his ex-wife's myspace didn't make any of those issues easier to handle. He should be willing to listen ot you with an open heart and atleast apologize for reacting the way he did. It's his fault that he lost your trust with his infidelity...and he needs to realize that. I would have done the same thing you did...stick to your guns and listen to your heart. Tell your husband exactly what you are feeling inside and what you are thinking, good luck!

Answer 8

I'm sorry for the conflict that you are going through but first realize that you are not going to accomplish anything by your messaging the ex and making request. It is not your place or mine to judge why she places what pictures she does on her site but even if it was of your husband then it has to do with positive and good memories that existed before your current relationship and you shouldn't expect her to give that up. As for your current relationship there seems to be more problems than just this event. You mentioned he cheated on you? There are reasons for everything and although you are seeking for finding what causes him to be angry over this current problem you are hiding and overlooking something more profound. While it appears he is taking her side and overlooking you altogether I think it's more covering up that initial problem that exist. When you talk to him find a time that is non-threatening for both of you. Express yes that this hurt you but that you also realize that He and She (ex) had a history and still have feelings for they were special to one another at a time and just because that ended there still can be and remain special feelings. Find out his feelings for you? You have special feelings also and you need to explain to him what hurts you and why but also that you want to understand and respect his feelings. Sometimes though (and you won't have any control over them) emotions and feelings change between two people and the actions that you see are just reflections of an inner change that is being suppressed. People can get over it and through it but it takes willingness and desire on both parties as well as understanding and forgiveness. What you don't do is bring up a past event (his cheating) if you have truly forgiven him. To continue to bring it up says you haven't forgiven him and that alone can come in the way of your relationship. Maybe truthfully, if you keep bringing it up or feel threatened by her page, you haven't totally forgiven him of his past. Forgiveness is ten times harder on you than on him and it's tough to do. Does he deserve trust? Maybe not but you also don't deserve to be hammered over your expressing your feelings or your dislike of her retaining pictures which seems to threaten you. What has happened has happened and one way of reason might be to say (and by no means would I equate the two) we have each made mistakes, for various reasons, but forgiveness is to look over those mistakes and work together. I forgave and accepted you when you did something that I didn't like or that threaded our marriage and now you are not willing to do the same when you find out I have done something you disapprove of. If your marriage is in trouble then conflicts will not help it get better but only communication and understanding on both parties parts. Timing is another thing as well. Pick a time that you both can talk and one that emotions are not at peaks. If you both love each other then you will find a way if though that love is gone then you need to know that also and be able to make a plan about your future. Good Luck and most of all don't rely on any one answer here for we all are flawed and can only give opinions. Take a composite of what advice you are given and use your wisdom to utilize that advice as you best know your spouse and his temperament and what you can do.

Answer 9

You may have acted rashly, but I don't think you were totally wrong.

I think he owes you an explanation of whether there's something going on between he and the ex. Be calm and composed and just ask him straight up. If he can't look you in the eye and say you are the Only One, then you probably have a problem.

Good luck

Answer 10

i don't have faith in giving a suitable stranger online concepts considering ought to bring about issues. by using fact you have in no way somewhat met this woman there's a huge probability that it ought to not be a woman yet rather a pervert or thief finding for inner maximum information to choose the place to come across you or a thank you to get into your gadget. in no way have confidence chatting or emailing human beings online. Its for entertainment in basic terms. That being pronounced your husband appeared to the two a million in comparison to what you have been announcing for the rationalization I stated above or 2 he's delicate approximately that certainty that he would not provide sufficient interest or spend sufficient time together with his little ones.