Why am I obsessed. He loves me?

Question

Why am I obsessed

I have been married to my husband for 9 months now and things between us are great. We have a lot of the same intrests, we make love at least 3 times a week and boy is it good. He even told me that I am his soul mate and would do anything for me. However I have this thing where I just want to know everything about his past. I have gone through all his things and found pictures of an ex he was dating b4 me and it just drives me crazy. She has blonde hair and I am brunette, so it makes me think that this is what he liked. I even went as far as sending fake text messages to him on his cell from her with pics I found on his computer I felt guilty so I ended up telling him and he contacted her to find out if it was true ashe said yes that she had forgotten about him. He told me he was going to leave me but he ended up forgiving me and we worked it out and have never brought it up again...but now I am even more obsessed witth her. Help!

Answer 1

You've got to let go of this obsession. If you don't, it's going to ruin your marriage. Honey, he choose YOU.....he married YOU...we ALL have exes that we dated before - correct?

Obviously he likes brunettes, cause he married one...

Learn to accept the fact that this man loves you sweetheart...let the fear of losing him go - because if you're not careful, your obsession and your fear WILL drive him away..

Answer 2

We the surfers of cyber world meet with so many people every day. Surfing the net is the best pastime one can ever develop, as internet has the most knowledge, a surfer will never have to wait for a answer. The vast knowledge of cyber world is nothing as compared to the cyber society that it gives. Internet is a community but so vast that we need a place to make conversation easy. What more can be better than a chat room for this purpose, well a chat room and a message board along with a forum is the best combination really. I was actually looking for a place where we can find all these things with a profile and photo brouse option. Finally I got this site, this place is a very nice community where we can share every thing online. And also about the leader board, I must tell it is great. The thought of the leader board is unique, as not to many people has thought about this thing. And the method of getting the leader is very different and one must check out this site once. The cyber culture is growing, and it is about time that we find our club and that to a very different club, which is not a part of any big website house like the yahoo and google. This site am talking about has every thing that a cyber surfer ever wants. This is the website address, http://www.friendscyberclub.com/ Features of this site is: 1) chatting 2) view profiles and photos 3) upload your photos and make a cool profile. 4) your message board 5) forum 6) See your name on the leader board. There are also many more features available in the site, free to join.

Answer 3

I can totally understand what you did. I have done much the smae thing. I have the tendancy to look through things, phones, and web sites my husband visits. We have been together 6 years and 2 break ups. I am realizing that I seem to be looking for problems when there are none. I am literally everyday having to tell myself, "He is with me, he loves me, and porn web sites and past girlfrinds are merely fantasy and the past. He is with you because he loves you and those old pictures aren't his way of holding on to her it's his way of remembering the life he had before you and why he is where he is. You can't and shouldn't delete your past completely thats how we learn from our mistake and improve our lives. Blonde or Brunette, honey if he wanted a blonde or her that is where he would be. Instead, he is there loving you everyday. Try telling yourself that a little more often. It does help....

Keep the faith in your love for one another. That's what I am trying to do but its day by day! I wish you well. You seem to be a lot like me and I hope everything works out.

Answer 4

Just leave it to curiousity, it only killed the cat!
My husband and I have only been married for 10 months. He was engaged to be married before and the girl broke it off one year before I met him. She even had the nerve to call him when we were dating (I got on the phone and gave her a piece of my mind). Well all his friends new her very well (they dated for three years!). And all of them hated her for what she did to him. Of course I am going be sneaky and try to find pictures of her anywhere that I can ( I even looked in his parents basement). I couldn't find anything! He said that he got rid of it all because he didn't want to be reminded of all of it. But a few months ago I was snooping around in his computer and finally, finally, after two years found a picture of her. What a big fat slop she was! I have blonde hair, she has brown. I was glad that she was so ugly! But you have to have to leave it at that. Do not push this anymore. He is not with that girl for a reason and he married you for a reason. He chose to spend the rest of his life with you. You really should just leave it alone otherwise you are just looking to cause a fight that you don't need.

Answer 5

Obsession is a terrible thing to deal with. What is really important is to get a grip on your impulses before your marriage ends. Usually, when a person obsesses on something, it's really about something else. For example I was obsessed for 5 years with this boy in my highschool. I thought it was about him and what he did, but it was really about my father. Once I comprehended that, I forgot all about him. What was your childhood like? Is it possible that you were abandoned in your past at one point and therefore are very jealous of the threat this woman may pose? Why don't you do some thinking about it? Be logical. What's really bothering you? If you need someone to talk to, you can send me a message. Good luck!

Answer 6

Hehe appears like me. i'm sitting right here with ma 3 toddlers marvelous now ;) i do no longer hate cats however. i think of human beings love canines plenty because of fact they are extra unswerving then the rest in this international ( even human beings have the tendcy to easily leave each now and back) the sensation if coming abode and having slightly puppy greet you on the door with such exhilaration and delight is a huge feeling. it rather is rather advantageous to be responsive to, for me any way, that on the top if the day my canines will by no ability stop loving purely because of fact every physique else has :) they ate additionally large to speak too and nicely, silence seems to consistently be the proper answer. you will no longer understand except you have and love a canine tho ;) they are rather mans proper chum

Answer 7

Your help needs to be with a marriage counselor. You are going to drive him away if you don't stop now, and give him the benefit of doubt. Leave the past in the past, because there are probably things in yours that you'd hate for him to find out, right. Let things be in a positive direction without looking for trouble, because you certainly will find it. There are so many females who wish they could be in your situation without the obsessiveness.

Answer 8

darling this is not good. why you need to ask about the past or any think about it. i remember that i have a Fiancée and as you siad i wanted to know his past but once i know i felt i could trust him any more i was really bothered may be becuase i was very conservative and i do not have a paste like him.
what ever do not bother you self a lot with that this is not good. just remember he would not be with you if his relation was good with other friends.
do not feel too jelous in a way you could damage your life be resonable.
think like this if you had friends and you stopped your relation with them you might miss them but not really go again to that relation specially as you siad he is happy with you. so why he will go back to old friendship that did not work for any reason.
you got this nice husband and relation so do not ruin it.

Answer 9

Since you guys have hashed it out, the thing to do is to now let it go before it festers anymore than it already has. Your marriage is far too young to allow any insecurity or threat to ruin it. Unfortunately we have all fallen prey to suspicion and mistrust but obviously he is with you, if he didn't want you, he would be with her. Let it go, as hard as it is, you must otherwise you will end up ruining your marriage. God Bless you and I pray that you will be able to work through this and to let it go.

Answer 10

I understand bc I used to ask my husband about his ex all the time and I wanted to know everything. I think we r just afraid that its to good to be true so instead of getting hurt by suprise we want to spoil it and find the rotten part of him. Just relax and enjoy the wonderful man u have bc some wome don't look for dirt its laying all in front of them. Just everytime u think of her make him make love to u n u will forget all about it!

Good luck!