she says we have little free time with the kids and we work opposite shifts so the little time we have she wants to spend it with me and i want to go hang with the guys, so she feels like i dont want to be with her, and then gets upset cuz i can have fun without her and she wants her fun to be with me
2006-08-10 05:48:20 · 28 answers · asked by MrWrongallthetime 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, I can see her point and I am a man. You married her for a reason. You said you dont have much time together and the time you do have together you spend it with your friends. Try not to spend so much time with them when you and your wife are off work together. Try spending family time with her and the kids. They always say you dont know what you got untils its gone. Think about. If you keep doing this then she will leave. Do you want that? If the answer is no then start spending more time with her. Even though you guys are married the spark that you once had dont have to be gone. Get that back. Just try to see it from you eyes and not just yours. Maybe you guys werent meant to be together? You guys need to work this out before it gets really bad. Good luck.
2006-08-10 05:55:52 · answer #1 · answered by bigdog_0032 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So, why don't you spend some quality time with her rather than the guys with things being as they are with opposite shifts an all? She needs the TLC that's being missed because of both of you working hard to acquire the family life you will both be proud of eventually. She wouldn't mind your going once in a while with the guys as long as it's not leaving her out the picture all of the time with what little free time that you have. Your family will always be available for you under any circumstance, will your buddies do the same? Make time for you wife & kids, and it will be remembered & bragged on for years to come.
2006-08-10 05:58:40 · answer #2 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As it should be! Of course, your wife would be upset if you spend all of your free time without her and then on top of it, tell her how much fun you have. You married her for a reason, and that reason is because you want to spend the rest of your life with her. I think it is important for a guy to spend time with his guy friends, and it is equally important for a girl to spend time with the girl friends. However, aside from spending time apart, you should make time for your wife because as I see it, marriage is a two way street and both people involved need to make sacrifices to fulfill the other person's needs. It doesn't mean you have to give up your guy time, but you should spend some time with your wife. How would you feel if she never wanted to spend time with you?
2006-08-10 06:12:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Duh...yes, she is upset and with good reason. Dude, you have a wife and a family and they need to come first in your life. You should be spending ever free second you have with your wife and family. You made a commitment to be there always for them so honor that commitment. Your life is about family, not about you as an individual. If you wanted to spend your time hanging out with the guys you should never have gotten married or had kids. It is time to grow up and live up to your obligations and responsibilities.
2006-08-10 06:01:09 · answer #4 · answered by rkrell 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to balance the two so you don't spend all your free time with the guys. You have a family and that is your chief responsibility of making sure their happiness and welfare is taken care of before you hang out with others.
If you go out, I suggest you make sure you equally spend time with your wife and kids also.
If you work opposite shifts, make up for less time by making sure your buddies don't interfere with your home life because they deserve to share good times enjoying your company also.
If you want to live like a bachelor, I suggest you be one.
But as long as you have a family, they come first and you can still enjoy the guys but take care of home first.
2006-08-10 05:57:48 · answer #5 · answered by words from the heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
youll have to make a compromise like hey you and i can spend time doing whatever you do as a family and then 1 night a week you could hang out with the guys. it may not even be that your hanging out with the guys maybe she doesnt like the company you keep. it could also be that she feels your sticking her with the kids. why should you get to go out and she is stuck at home with the kids? she needs time out of the house and away from the kids doing some thing fun also.
2006-08-10 05:58:43 · answer #6 · answered by Pixie Dust 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think my boyfriend thinks i think this way !
Does she have any girlfriends she can hang out with!
I could only agree with her if you were out every night with the guys! but if it's 1-2 times aweek she really shouldn't have a problem with it!
sounds like you both need to sit down and talk!
make a schedule up on paper to show the amount of time you do spend with her!
i must add! i took the responsablity of being a domistic goddess with my boyfriend and when i'm cooking or cleaning or doing something for him that doesn't count as time with him!
check to see if she feels overwhelmed with House hold work if so then help her out a little extra and maybe she wouldn't be so hard on you!
All in all i feel for you some times females can add a little too much drama!
i guess it's in our genes! lol
just talk with her --- Don't forget to take her on a date!
if you make her feel loved she won't mind... <-- i'm not saying you don't but go the extra mile to make sure she feels it not you!
Good luck
2006-08-10 05:56:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women and men tend to think different about most aspects of life! :) I can see her point and yours as well. Women tend to devote all of their time to their families, and so that is how they define themselves. Most men need more time with their friends to maintain that "independent" feeling. Women also tend to need a lot of quality alone time with their man to make them feel secure in the relationship. Don't worry though, their is no need to give up your "guy" nights. Next time you want to go out with your friends, make sure she has something fun to do too, not just watch the kids. Whether you budget some money for her to go shopping with or give her the green light for a girls night out, make sure she is not just sitting at home thinking about how much fun you are having without her. Also, it would be a GREAT idea for you to call her a couple times when your out, just to let her know you are thinking of her (just tell your boys you have to go to the restroom then they won't make fun!). As long as she doesn't feel like she doesn't get to have a life, but you do- she'll be fine
2006-08-10 05:59:45 · answer #8 · answered by Jessica P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok so what are you telling us here ? Your just a typical man who hasn't grown up ? Your married with kids and you still have guys night out ?? Is she wrong when she thinks you dont want to spend time with her ? Your taking your free time and wanting to spend it with the guys. I'm sure she can have fun without you too buddy, but you know us stupid women, we'd rather be with our spouses.
2006-08-10 05:55:08 · answer #9 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I work opposite shifts and have three kids, but we still have individual time, I go out with my girlfriends for "girls night" and I don't mind when he gets together with his friends. Everyone needs some "me" time without their spouse and as long as you spend quality time with her and the kids it shouldn't be an issue.
2006-08-10 06:15:05 · answer #10 · answered by auzzimama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋