i have 2 boys ages 7 and 3, and a girl 5. i have been seperated from my husband for 5 months, he has visits on sundays with the kids, when he sees them. he got arrested and got offered 3 yrs. How should i tell the kids? Sould he tell them? the Truth? the kids are very close so i have to tell them the same story. I try to be as truthfull as i can be with them. we are very close i don't say too much, but u get the idea.
2006-08-10 05:40:19 · 12 answers · asked by shorte716 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Just sit them down and tell them the truth. Explain what it means to be arrested. They will adjust to it sooner or later. Just give them some time. And if they ask you any questions just explain it to them. You can email me if you have a question. Good Luck!
2006-08-10 05:51:07 · answer #1 · answered by Kandi Gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always the truth. Tell them Dad loves them but he got in trouble with the law (not the police) and he is being punished. They already know about rules and punishment. Explain jail the same way. Tell them Dad will be OK but because of his punishment he will be away for 3 years. Your kids will not understand the concept of time unless you put up a calendar for them to show them when Dad will be back. Never put Dad down regardless of the reason why he is going to jail.
2006-08-10 13:10:09 · answer #2 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is the first time he has been arrested and having to serve time.He might not have to serve 3 years.If they are close to him let him tell them, but they will not understand the 7years old might. You could tell them that he has gone away for awhile and they will be able to see him when he gets back. If you plan on taking the children to the jail to see him on visitation that might confuse them more and they will think it is OK to live at the jail. It could cause alot of trauma seeing him locked up.Unless the judge tells you you have to take them to visit I would not take them to see him in jail.If you tell them he has gone away for awhile then you are not lying to them. Make sure all the family members knows when and how you are going to handle this. Counseling could be helpful if there is alot of anger between the adults. The main concern is what is best for the children njot the adults in their lives.JJ
2006-08-10 13:01:49 · answer #3 · answered by J J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them the truth because it hurts you and them later when you lie and they find out. Some trust is messed up then. It is best that you say he is in jail and they will be visiting him there and how often they can visit.
2006-08-10 12:47:23 · answer #4 · answered by nastaany1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was you, I wouldn't go into great detail as to why he is going to jail. I think it would be best coming from both of you at the same time, if that's possible but discuss it with your husband first and agree on what exactly the children should and shouldn't know.
Good luck
2006-08-10 12:48:36 · answer #5 · answered by sarah k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...when my daughter's father went to jail- I told her that he was at school, but she is 3 and that isn't gonna work with older kids. Howver, I found a neat pamphlet about explaining jail to kids and pages 7-13 are really helpful- the link is pasted below.
2006-08-10 12:50:28 · answer #6 · answered by Barry's Squish 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well sweete in this days its not a big deal if u get in jail..lol i was 2 times there and i am only 20 years old..i say just tell u kids the tru..that there dad is a jailbird :))
2006-08-10 12:46:56 · answer #7 · answered by Angel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them the truth because if you don't it will come back and bite you in the ***. Tell them daddy was bad and he's going to jail.
2006-08-10 12:54:09 · answer #8 · answered by gozedown 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you tell them he made a mistake, and you take the kids to visit their father, cause that is all he is going to have to look forward to on visiting days
2006-08-10 12:49:59 · answer #9 · answered by wilfreds805 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it could be arranged I would suggest that the both of you sit down with your children and explain in a language that they would understand what is going on and how long he will be away
2006-08-10 12:47:37 · answer #10 · answered by papasmurf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋